Today I served, in my limited capacity, as tech support for a teacher-friend looking to buy a laptop. After visiting the largest stores in the largest suburban city-mall we could find we only found one laptop which fit the monthly bill perfectly.
We found the computer in Best Buy. Flanked by its lesser cousins at higher prices the computer seemed a 'beaut: slim, light, cool, fast, and with an unobtrusive screen. The Best Buy service guy (who doesn't work on commission - so we knew he wasn't jerking us around) couldn't find any of the beautiful Sony computers in the back room so checked in with the Best Buy website. It turned out that we had picked a phantom computer; a computer that doesn't exist at any Best Buy store in Canada! Shocked and grieving, my friend and I went to Future Shop but found the computer wasn't there either, only a worse selection of laptops and larger selection of free wafer-cakes.
Disillusioned with the free market's ability to meet supply with demand we dropped in at Soby's and found bacon flavoured Pringles. My friend insisted she repay me for my "work" and stated she should buy a tin of bacon flavoured Pringles. When I replied that "I'm alright, bacon Pringles don't look very appealing - but thanks for the offer" my friend gave me a stern "silly boy the Pringles aren't for you they're for me to test on you!"
After that surprisingly edible escapade we made our way to the Sony Store where a pleasant rep showed us the latest and greatest Sony had to offer. The first computer he showed us was, in almost every respect, worse than our beautiful phantom laptop. We told him so and showed him the model number of the Phantom Sony machine from Best Buy to which he replied "oh, yes, that model was discontinued. It was replaced by this one right here" at which point he indicated the less-than-awe-inspiring first computer. I was appalled, "it's a worse computer for a hundred more" I said tremulously, trying to contain my complete loss of faith in empiricist philosophy. "Well," he said, "it does have a slightly better processor and it comes in three different colours." I was quite sure, just then, that my jaw dropped low enough that those pale, eyeless creatures that scuttle across the ocean floor were in danger of walking down my throat. My friend asked the service rep why the computer was discontinued and he explained that he didn't know. We decided to leave and come back again after we'd done more research into the Avro Arrow of computers and shellfish allergies.
On the way home a bird hit our windshield and bounced off, leaving a Rorschach-style imprint in the dust near the top of the winder. "That bird should know better! It's an urban bird!" said my friend. Then, after a two-block pause, "I blame its parents."