fap (

fap) wrote,
@ 2009-02-15 23:04:00

Hayes, 2.2

Oh, lovely. We begin the update with a game of where are the parents and why the fuck is this child outside?

Dominic: Anything seem off to you, Camille..?

Camille: NO NOT AT ALL :D

O RLY?!!?

Dominic congratulates Camille on pissing herself, 'cause I guess that's an accomplishment if you're Camille.

Dominic: Moneeeeeeeeeeey I NEED SOME MAH BABIES ARE STARVING
Camille: AW HELL NAW WHAT IS THIS SHIT

Isn't sad that they're broke as all hell, but have a butler? I don't even know how they're going to pay for it.

WOLF: Dude...your kid is passed out ...on the floor...you should...you should probably do something.
Dominic: :|

Honestly, they're so broke they probably did tell their little ones to go play in traffic for fun. They're not very bright, IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW.

What the shit, brushing your teeth =/= SHOWERING. PLEASE STOP THIS.

Camille would still rather speak to inanimate objects rather than you know...her family...real people.

You can already tell Dominic is getting fed up of this shit.

Gabrielle grows up..badly. Hell, I should be glad she hasn't been taken away from the social worker yet.

Gabrielle: I HATE THIS SHIT.

Gabrielle: NO REALLY I FUCKING HATE THIS SHIT.

Yay, another sim with a personality disorder. BITCH YOU HAVE 8 NICE POINTS, USE THEM.

Gabrielle: DAD YOU SMELL LIKE SHIT. YOU SMELL SO BAD MY ARM NOW GROWS OUT OF MY NECK. THAT'S HOW BAD YOU SMELL.

She's actually pretty damn adorable.

ALSO THE TODDLERS GREW UP TOO~

Malcolm!

Noah!

Olive!

Yes, Camille, your baby hates you. All of them do, you're a terrible parent.

DON'T PICK UP HABITS FROM YOUR MOTHER, OLIVE. PLEASE. DO NOT.

Dominic: LISTEN YOU FUCKERS, MY CHILDREN ARE STARVING GIVE ME SOME MONEY.

Camille is turned off by the butler. I guess her old man fetish is done with?

Camille: You know, paper cup, I hear constant bitching ALL THE TIME, I do not know where it comes from. DO YOU THINK I AM HEARING THINGS? COULD I BE CRAZY?
Malcolm: Are you kidding me? Is this bitch serious?

Dominic and Camille both have a distinct hatred for Gabrielle. Their daughter.

HOW DID YOU GET TO BE SUCH GOOD PARENTS, YOU GUYS?!

Gabrielle: I hate this place. I hate it so much. I HATE IT MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS DAMN WORLDDDDDDDDDDD.

The sim therapist comes here every two hours and he has not called the social worker once. I AM BEGINNING TO QUESTION HIS WAYS.

Pirate: HAY I HAD SEX WITH YOUR GIRL~
Dominic: :|

OH MY FUCKING GOD LEAVE THAT GNOME ALONE.

Gabrielle: HAI WANNA SPIN ME AROUND?
Pirate: Heh heh heh, if I'm going to jail, it'll be because I'm a lame ass pirate who steals random shit not pedophilia!!!!!!

Gabrielle: I hate my liiiiiiiiiife.

Gabrielle: OH NO MY DUMBASS PARENTS CAUSED THIS. ;___;

Pirate: HAI REMEMBER WHAT I SAID ABOUT JAIL WELL I WAS TOTALLY LY--
Gabrielle: STFU

Gabrielle: FUCK DA POLICE.

Gabrielle: Sneakers suck, too.

Someone get her a muzzle. She's learning how to make her crazy face.

...

It looks like Camille's crazy face, but...angrier.

Gabrielle: I AM NOT LIKE MY MOM. NEVER SAY THAT YOU BITCH.

Way to go and be a creepy pedophile-like pirate now, Pirate.

Gabrielle: Get this motherfucker out of my bathroom. FUCK HIMMMM.

Do you see that look on Gabrielle's face? Leave the poor girl alone, Pirate.

Excellent priorities are had by Camille Hayes.

Gabrielle ruins the sexy mood that Camille probably worked all day to set.

It's not what it looks like. She has food poisoning. I guess sex with pirates interrupts with your digestive system so that it...idk.

Washing your hands after boinking Camille? ...

Butler: I GET TO CLEAN THOSE FLUID INFESTED SHEETS YAY~

Also, the children are still passed out in the bathroom. Nice.

I REALLY DO LOVE THIS GIRL, THOUGH.

Pirate: *fapfapfapfapfapfapfap*
Camille: I have to clean this plate *sulks*

So he stole the shower, it's not like they even used it. WHY SHOWER WHEN YOU HAVE A TOOTHBRUSH!?

Oh shuttup, Camille. You never even willingly used the shower. You'd rather take a spongebath or just walk around smelling like urine.

Oh my...they're really dirt broke right now. Their only form of entertainment is looking out of a window. This is getting really upsetting.

Noah: MOM READ ME A BOOK PL0X PL0X?
Camille: BUT I SAID NO.

Noah: I'M SO BORED I HATE MY LIFE. *BEST FRIENDS WITH CAMILLE*

Noah: MOM CHANGE MY DIAPER PLEEEEEEEASE.
Camille: NOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Noah: *MINUSSSSSSS* *SIGH*

Good Lord. They're eating out of the trash, too. Why don't welfare checks exist in the sim world?

Gabrielle: Dear Diary: I FUCKING HATE MY MOM I HATE GNOMES TOO--OHSNAP THE BITCH ENTERED THE BUILDING.

Gabrielle: I hate her so much me makes me touch her hand when I cross the streeeeeeeet.

Gabrielle: I hate that Pirate, too he's creepy. He never wanted to swing me around he throws water balloons at me. :( :(

Gabrielle: DAD WANT TO SWING ME AROUND?
Dominic: Nooo, no. No. No. No. No.
Gabrielle: *plus, plus*

Like father, like daughter?

2guys1mop: Coming to an Internets near you.

THIS IS REALLY NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN AT A TIME LIKE THIS.

Camille: I hate my liiiiiiiife. I DON'T WANT HAVE BABYS OK?

Dominic worries about his life being in the pooper.

Since he spends about 4875847 hours in the bathroom. It JUST MIGHT be.

She's raging bitch when she talks to people, but I think she lets her guard down when her bladder is full..

Really. She has eight nice points, I'm definitely sure this anger problem occurred due to all the neglect she's been experiencing since...she was born. (ALSO YOU KNOW HER MOTHER DYING IN A FIRE AND THEN COMING BACK TO LIFE..THAT PROBABLY MEANT SOMETHING, TOO.)

After what felt like forever she's finally cured of that damn bug. Though...the second her physical illness was fixed...

She goes into her 847875th mental breakdown. (If I were playing for points, I'm pretty sure I'd be at -38974478 points by now.)

Therapist: Maybe there is a button...that turns off...the crazy... Nope.

Camille: THX FOR THE HELP IF YOU ACTUALLY EXISTED I WOULD IGNORE YOU!
Therapist: I need to get paid for this shit.

Camille's been speaking to her paper cup all the time lately..it's like she's forgotten about Jerome.

Jerome: DAMN RIGHT SHE DID, AND I'M PISSED.

I don't think we'll ever lose that crazy face. Ever.

Dominic: DAMN TEENAGERS GET OFF MY LAWN STOP KICKING MY TRASHCANS I NEED THAT TO FEED MY FAMILY.

Camille loves her children. What she said earlier was a LIE. Just so you know..

Playing with the refrigerator is the only useful thing they can do with it right now. There's no food in there.

AND THEY SURE AS HELL DON'T HAVE THE DOLLA BILLS.

This is genuine stupid right here. 100% genuine. TALK TO EACH OTHER YOU STUPIDS!

Social Bunny: Fuck. Not her again..*stares*
Camille: *drools a little bit*

Social Bunny #1: LOLOL YOU'RE GETTING LAID. LOLOL *YOU'RE* DUMB ENOUGH TO HAVE SEX WITH HER. LOLOL
Dominic: :|

I'm pretty those two ~flirtatious~ bunnies are setting the mood for Camille and Dominic's sexytiemz.

Camille and Dominic shoo the bunnies out, because they are not voyeurs. Crazy? Yes. Dumb? Fuck yeah. Voyeurs? No, no they are not those.

Camille and Dominic are at it like bunnies...

The bunnies go back into the room, because they're the creepiest social bunnies I've ever seen in my life.

Ew.

I am getting so sick of this gnome stealing shit.

I have never seen this before. Figures I'd see it first with the Hayes. I've never had such bad parenting.

Gnome-Stealing-Brat is stuck in the middle of the living room...crying.

HOLY MOLY, CAMILLE, YOU CANNOT TORTURE CHILDREN.

I heard a male voice crying and at first I thought it was the Gnome Stealing Brat, and flipped the hell out.

It was just Dominic.

Dominic: I'M SUCH A FAILUUUUUUUUUURE. I HATE MY LIFE. I HATE IT. YOU'RE STUPID, DOMINIC. YOU'RE A STUPID MAN. YOU'RE UGLY, TOO. I HATE MYSELLLLLLLLLLLF.

Aw, Camille cheers Dominic up. I have to say this was probably the only moment that made me smile. They're almost like a happy family.

...I did say almost, right?

Camille: JEROME MY LIFE SUCKS. I HATE IT. WILL YOU HELP ME????
Jerome: O SO YOU ONLY COME TO ME WHEN YOU WANT SOMETHING, RIGHT? D:<

Yeah, I'd say their lives DO suck.

Will they ever be able to afford another bed? Food? Toys for the children? Probably not. BUT STILL MIRACLES HAPPEN SOMETIMES STAY TUNED AND SEE IF THAT OCCURS HERE.

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