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Kisame Hoshigaki [Part 6]
Sample Post:

First Person

Alright so they say, like... when you're lonely you should get a pet, right? Well, it's not that I'm really lonely or anything, but it'd be nice to have something to come home to. I guess. But okay, if I had a dog I'm worried it would bark too damn much. I don't have time to train it, and if I bought one that already came trained, it'd cost way too much. And then cats are just too bitchy, and I don't want to scoop a litter box anytime soon.

So they say a low-maintenance pet is a goldfish. And I'm like... a goldfish. What good is that puny little thing? And what fun is it as a pet? It can't do anything! So I thought, like, maybe a hamster or something but those are pretty lame too.

I guess I need a woman, right? But picking a woman is like picking a pet too. But, you can't treat them like a pet! No, because that pisses them off. Women are way more complicated than goldfish. You've got to notice things about them or they get pissy, and you've got to know how to read minds to understand why they're even mad at you. Or, that's what I've read.

I've never actually had a real girlfriend, so...

...

Maybe if it was... a really big goldfish. I could live with that.