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Suigetsu ~ Fin : D
“Listen, I don’t care why you ran out without paying. In fact, I should be thanking you. I was bored out of my mind, and a good two block chase in eighty degree weather plus humidity is exactly how I get my kicks.” Suigetsu interrupts, sarcasm heavy in his voice. These uniforms are pretty tight and do not air well. Not to mention Suigetsu dehydrates pretty easily. In his rush to chase after this asshole, he forgot his waterbottle, which only serves to make him that much more pissed. Hence the crackling taser. Abuse of power? What abuse? “In fact, I’m so grateful I’ll tell you a joke. You like jokes right?” The man is eyeing the taser that is a few centimeters from his right eyeball, sweating bullets. Suigetsu continues on as if the guy answered. “What do you call not paying a prostitute after you’ve had sex with one?” He pauses, grinning down at the man’s stricken expression. He lets a few tense moments pass by, wondering for the fifth time this week if he should get a haircut. It’s getting hot and this shoulder length shit is getting ridiculous. He refocuses at the task at hand once the guy lets out a sad little whimper, telling the answer with smug, scary, relish.

“The punch line is shoplifting, but we’re classy gentlemen aren’t we? We both know what it really is, right?” Suigetsu leans forward, a bit of maniacal glee in his eyes. Man’s got nothing to say, and Suigetsu likes that. Some of these guys won’t shut up, try to give him reasons why they can’t pay. One guy told him once his mom had cancer, and Suigetsu had laughed for a million years at that one. He’s got to give this one some credit. He’s smart enough not to argue.

“Where I come from, that’s called being a cheapskate dirtbag who deserves to have his ass kicked, especially if he hits a woman. I know chicks can get annoying, but wow. You must feel proud of tapping her then turning around and hitting her.” Suigetsu drawls, sitting back squarely on the guy’s chest as he struggles to breathe. It’ll be easier for him to drag this sorry son of a bitch back to the company if he’s passed out anyway. Less struggling. And lawsuits? Tch, Suigetsu would like to see someone bust the balls of the company lawyer. If they even got that far. He wanted to see what kind of sympathy this sleaze ball would get for hitting a nice lady like Stephanie. Not very far, if she was at good at looking the victim as she was at giving head. But he digresses.

“The way I see it, there’s two ways we can do this. Either I taze you, take down all your information for the police to deal with, and believe you me, some of them have a soft spot for the chick you just smacked and will have no problems shoving you into prison so you can have all the sex you want whenever you drop the soap, or,” Suigetsu stops, to let the beautiful imagery of the first scenario seep into this guy’s thick skull, “you come back with me without struggle, pay your tab along with a really nice tip, apologize, and don’t show up ever again unless you remember how to pay.” Just in case this guy is a bit of a moron, Suigetsu fires up his taser, smirking in a way that he’s told looks like he’s a demon from hell. He likes to think it’s his customer service face.

“What’s it gonna be?” He asks sweet as sugar, and though the guy holds up two fingers frantically on each hand, Suigetsu is temped to tase him anyway. One little shock won’t hurt right? The brain sends jolts of electricity through your body all the time. It was how information got every where. So he smiles, gets off of the guy and lets him have a few gasps of breath before he helps him up. And then dialing down the bite of his taser absentmindedly, he pats the guy on the back to help get all the dust off of his shirt. Then his hand accidentally slips for some reason and the taser is pressed against the guy’s neck and he’s right back on the ground, flopping like a fish.

Oops.