I know how to work a toaster. You put in bread, it comes out toast. Except for your old toaster, where you put in bread, it came out on fire.

I don't know about the one you have now. Maybe it needs a pep talk. Or possibly an exorcism.

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How in the hell did you turn my toaster in to a flame thrower!?! It worked just fine when I left it there.

I could always ask John to stop threatening the appliances. I'll let you know how he takes it.

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I'm innocent! I wouldn't even know how to begin to break a toaster. It has a switch and a turny button. There was not button for 'flames', I would have noticed that.

Oh yeah, I'm sure that'll go over real well. Be sure to record that conversation for posterity.

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You managed it somehow. Must have been some sort of miracle.

Will do. We can laugh about it later.

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