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Character
Name: Kisame Hoshigaki
Age: 23
Sexuality: Heterosexual. It's not likely he would end up in a homosexual relationship, but if plot led to it, he could change. He definitely would not call himself bisexual, though. So it's safe to say hetero.
Role in company: Bodyguard at Angel's Hell, part-time security guard at Feel Good, INC.
PB: Hidetoshi Nakata



Background History: Kisame's background is not really extraordinary or a spectacular story to sit down by the fireplace and tell the kids. Although his parents are Japanese, he was born to the United States after they immigrated over, and they adapted to life in America and didn't speak Japanese around him. As a result, Kisame only knows English. Don't be fooled. His parents were not overly wealthy, but Kisame didn't grow up out back in a shack. They enjoyed a lower middle-class lifestyle, which is why Kisame tends to be slightly extravagant with his purchases now, as if trying to make up for lost spendage.

Going to public school in the middle of the city, Kisame was exposed to just about everything. Even bullying. For his first few years of school, because he was so small looking he was often picked on and called a baby. Because Kisame is someone who is easily riled up, especially when he was young, he often got in trouble for getting into fights with the other kids. Of course, because of his size, he was often the one to take the most damage in a scuffle.

This all changed come third grade though, when a growth spurt like no other kicked in and after summer break, Kisame walked into his class looking like a middle-schooler. That put a sudden and very abrupt halt to all of the bullying done against him. And if one smartass thought to try to make fun of him for being tall, he'd just beat them up. It was a good set-up, except for the days spent in the principal's office so frequently.

And this didn't get better as the years passed. Along with a growth in his height, came an enormous growth in his ego. It seemed like he'd never get through any of his classes, and he began to beat his peers up just for looking at him the wrong way. But then came high school, and he spotted the school's swimming team practicing after school one day. This was spotted, of course, while he forced a kid's head down a toilet for a swirly.

The swimming coach had heard about Kisame from the other teachers, and being one of those teachers who believed that every student wanted to learn deep down, the man would let Kisame come before and after school to swim. He took to the water like a fish, instantly loving how it felt to dive into it, to splash, to feel the resistance against your body and fight it. By his sophomore year, he was one of the most valued members of the swimming team.

But just when everything seems to go right, of course a woman enters the mix, and plays games with your heart. Kisame's first crush was a very petite, black-haired girl. She liked to come around the pools to watch the swimmers, and he liked to show off for her. The two of them eventually started to talk, and got on terms that were friendly enough where she started to bring him snacks after he'd practice. Of course he thought he fell in love with her, she was perfect. He'd stopped getting into fights because of her, and he'd started to work even harder at school, keeping his grades up so he could remain on the swim team.

Though like everything else in his life, this was about to change.

Coming in late one afternoon, he heard shouting from the coach's office. When he took a spying peek at the window, he instantly burst in the room at what he saw. His swimming coach, the man he'd so looked up to, and the woman he loved, in a heated argument, and he had her wrist tight in his hand. Immediately, he punched the man, knocking him smack against the wall and moving in to hit him again. And he didn't stop wailing on him until he heard her tiny little voice protest, telling him to stop, because that was her husband.

Husband.

As it turned out, the two were newlyweds, and the reason she'd come by was to see him after work. And the reason why he didn't realize she was double his age was because of her size, and by how young she looked. And after Kisame was expelled from school, he decided to just give it up altogether, much to his parent's distress. He spent a year sitting around his room and wasting time before he was forced to get a job, and spent several more years washing dishes and flipping burgers, because who would want to hire someone who didn't even finish high school? Despite his parent's encouragement to at least get his GED, he just refused.

After getting a landscaping job that paid under-the-table, Kisame finally had a source of income from lazy rich people, and enough, at 21, to move out of his parent's home. Finally on his own, he moved into a cozy little bachelor's pad, complete with a huge used TV and a plaid sofa. But he didn't like his job. In fact, he hated it. Loved the tan it gave him, but the work was very unfulfilling.

By chance, the first classified ad he ever picked up had an ad for a bodyguard for... a brothel. Kisame was there to apply in minutes. Fights, topless beautiful women, and a paycheck? Was there anything that could go wrong with that? Through his association with the brothel and his good work, he was offered a second job working nights at a pornography company as well. To which he agreed to instantly. Even more hot, naked women? Even more money?

And hopefully, nothing will come along to mess it up. Or he'll beat them.

Personality, Likes & Dislikes: Kisame has the kind of personality where you think he's like the greatest big brother ever, but he's actually using every chance he can to laugh at your expense. Unless, of course, he likes you. Then he is like a big brother. It's in his nature to be protective of the things he cares about. So if he sticks up for you, and he's not being paid too, chances are he sees you as something worth spending effort on.

His sense of humor is a bit... garish, and definitely offensive. He's crude, but also comes across as extremely cheesy when he tells a joke. It's like a twelve year old telling a dirty old man joke. You get it, and you want to laugh, but the delivery was so, so wrong. But it's alright, he laughs enough at his own jokes anyway. So don't worry about it.

He's got a bit of an ego problem, and likes to be remembered. He's easily worked up if you don't remember who he is, because in his own opinion he's more than a little unforgettable. Then again, most things tend to get him worked up, and he spends more time brooding about it and muttering than taking action these days, because he's careful now that he has a job with steady income that he has fun at.

Most of his frustrations are taken out on the clients who take it one touch too far, so he's good.

He loves women, and he loves looking at women. He likes them to be small, but with curves. And a nice ass is a must. And what's sad is, despite his good looks, he lacks charm. Most women tend to see him as that "just a friend," guy, which really isn't conductive to a healthy sex life. So despite being surrounded by prostitutes, he hasn't had sex in about four years. Sad, isn't it? And he's too proud to actually pay one of the girls. He wants to at least earn it.

He also loves sharks, and watching the JAWS movies in marathons. He can't watch when the sharks get hurt though. It hurts him inside. The reason he loves them is for the way they move in the water, and will never admit to it but when he swims, he pretends he's a shark too. And the fact that they're badass only helps their case, and if he was into body modification, he'd definitely sharpen his teeth.

Sample Post:

First Person

Alright so they say, like... when you're lonely you should get a pet, right? Well, it's not that I'm really lonely or anything, but it'd be nice to have something to come home to. I guess. But okay, if I had a dog I'm worried it would bark too damn much. I don't have time to train it, and if I bought one that already came trained, it'd cost way too much. And then cats are just too bitchy, and I don't want to scoop a litter box anytime soon.

So they say a low-maintenance pet is a goldfish. And I'm like... a goldfish. What good is that puny little thing? And what fun is it as a pet? It can't do anything! So I thought, like, maybe a hamster or something but those are pretty lame too.

I guess I need a woman, right? But picking a woman is like picking a pet too. But, you can't treat them like a pet! No, because that pisses them off. Women are way more complicated than goldfish. You've got to notice things about them or they get pissy, and you've got to know how to read minds to understand why they're even mad at you. Or, that's what I've read.

I've never actually had a real girlfriend, so...

...

Maybe if it was... a really big goldfish. I could live with that.

Third Person

Gambling was for the lucky. Or the stupid. Or even better, the stupidly lucky. Unfortunately, Kisame was only one of those. And it wasn't lucky.

And he knew this, but yet still he came to this cursed casino every Friday after getting his paycheck, hoping that one day he'd strike it at a fortune. Nobody ever won at these things. That's what people always told him, and the one time he'd started to believe it, the machine just two rows away from him hit the jackpot. $10,000 that could have been his if he'd gone up just two rows.

But ever since that day, he'd been returning to that one machine, playing the slots over and over until the amount he set aside specifically for this was gone. At least he was a controlled gambler. Though if he really had control, he wouldn't do it at all. But that's not the point. The point is, he's entirely convinced that one day, that $10,000 will be his. Even if he has to spend that amount to win it back.

Though he considered moving on to another machine, that horribly stubborn side of him refused to give up on it. Because he knew, he knew the moment he got up from this machine, some tool was going to sit there and win on their first go. Like hell he'd be the chump to have that happen to. He'd had a machine he used to play at all the time too, but after seeing that this machine was clearly a winner, he'd made the change.

Though clearly, it wasn't one for the better. His head spun around quickly when he heard the winning bells go off and the lights flash, all from the machine he used to frequent so often. Oh, that was cruel. That was just cruel.

Wondering which deity he'd pissed off to get this kind of luck, Kisame groaned, thinking he'd just go use whatever change he had left to buy himself some greasy comfort food, but looking down at his coin jar, he had nothing left. Perfect. Just perfect.

Well, who needed it anyway? Just a waste of money. That was it. Kisame walked out in a huff, swearing off gambling for the rest of his life.

Or until the next Friday. Because after all, gambling is only for the stupid and the lucky, and Kisame is far from lucky.