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Lee Jordan. vox_politik.

NAME: Lee Michael Jordan.
AGE: 18 / June 4th, 1978.
HOUSE/YEAR: Gryffindor alumni, '96.
SOCIAL STATUS: The Jordans are not wealthy. At all. Growing up with two sisters and a mother who was convinced that she didn't need to work because any day now she'd turn out the greatest novel of all time meant that money was tight, and Lee has grown so used to wearing his cousin's hand-me-downs that he no longer knows what it means to buy one's own clothes. He had to attend Hogwarts on scholarship, of course, which was a great relief to his parents. He's no worse off now that he's living on his own.

APPEARANCE: It's entirely possible that Lee could cut an imposing figure were he not so jolly. He has a naturally muscular build, and at the height of 6'1" he could probably scare people into doing what he wanted. However, Lee is always moving and always smiling, which sort of negates his imposing stance and makes him just look like a really friendly guy. He has dark brown skin, a fantastic head of dreadlocks that he has been cultivating since before he knew what hair was, and he's recently been experimenting with facial hair. He thinks it definitely makes him look more mature and sophisticated.

Unfortunately, Lee's style of dress is nothing near mature or sophisticated. Though he's been resigned to wear ties at work, they are always the loud, obnoxiously patterned ties that blind anyone who looks at them. He generally wears a lot of bright colours and, due to years of hand-me-downs, he has never quite been able to pick out clothes that fit, so they are always either too small or too big. He also does not have an eye for matching colours at all - he very easily wears two clashing colours without thinking anything of it.
PB: Kele Okereke

PERSONALITY: One thing that Lee can always be counted on is to provide a good time. His energy literally knows no bounds - he's constantly in motion from the moment he wakes up until the time he goes to bed at night - if he goes to bed at all. (He once stayed up for sixty-three hours straight, all thanks to a constant stream of caffeine, cold showers, and an intense Pong tournament.) He can never settle with one thing - Lee is the guy who's doing a million things at a time because he lacks the ability to focus on one thing at a time. If he's decided to learn how to play the guitar, a few days later he'll also decide he to learn how to play the drums, and then the piano, and then the tambourine, all so that he can be his own one-man band.

Lee truly enjoys a good practical joke. But rather than setting whoopee cushions on the seats of his co-workers or putting a buzzer in his hand for some particularly shocking handshakes, he enjoys getting people to believe his wild tales. All it takes is a quick e-mail around to his friends and he'll have his entire flat believing that they're soon to play host to a new television show that will be filmed in their very own building. He gets very involved in his plots - he would even go so far as to hire some of his friends to be actors and a crew for this supposed television show, for example.

Witty and clever, Lee probably would have been well-suited for Ravenclaw. He loves words a lot more than he lets on, and his conversations are always peppered with pop culture references and puns of varying degrees of lameness. He especially likes to commentate - Lee is a rather opinionated fellow, and he will tell you what he thinks on everything from your shoes (he's seen better ones on an old horse) to Newcastle United (their new left wingback is utter shite, but he probably gets all the birds) to your grandmother's baking (she could have gone a bit lighter on the sugar). He never means to hurt anyone's feelings, though - he just thinks that since he has an opinion, it should be heard whether or not anyone wants to hear it. He completely lacks a brain-to-mouth filter, and his tendency to say whatever he's thinking has gotten him into trouble in the past.

As hard as Lee tries to be independent and a Strong Domineering Male, he'll always need a partner-in-crime and he holds his addictions in a death grip. Some things are more fun when there are more people, and one of those things is life in general. When it comes to his addictions, well - Lee doesn't just like something, he LOVES it and he will NEVER, EVER stop using it/reading it/eating it/drinking it/whatever-ing it until the DAY THAT HE DIES. This is potentially dangerous, of course, especially considering the time that he spent four days locked in his room learning how to crochet because he was going to knit in entire army of scarves if it killed him. He's also very easily swayed by Just and Noble Causes. The minute that he hears about some injustice somewhere, he's all about telling everyone how completely wrong what such-and-such organisation is doing, and how it needs to be stopped immediately. He's very passionate, if nothing else.

DEFINING CHARACTERISTICS: Lee is permanently on a caffeine high, even when he isn't knocking back six or seven cups of coffee per morning. He was also always the sidekick to Fred and George in their schooldays, but now that he's out on his own he has a chance to prove that he is a little something more than the Fred&George hanger-on. And for some strange reason, he knows a little bit of everything about sports and yet he absolutely hates playing them.

LIKES:
1. Sports. Seems kind of obvious, but there you have it. The funny thing is that Lee doesn't actually know all that much about sports aside from the basic general knowledge. The best part of his commentary is that he often just makes things up.
2. Caffeine. Lee drinks three giant cups of coffee before he is even out of the door in the morning, and that is nothing compared to the amount that he drinks during the rest of the day. If it's a weekend, he'll splurge on several litres of the most caffeinated soda he can find and go to town.
3. Nintendo. The combination of Nintendo, caffeine, and a weekend stuck at his mum's house is dangerous indeed, and it's a wonder that Lee hasn't suffered from carpal tunnel from all of the video gaming that he does.
4. Animals. But not the cute, cuddly kind, but the dangerous and on-the-edge kind! He has kept a pet tarantula (in different incarnations, of course, since they don't all live that long) ever since he was young. It sits in his room and watches him sleep.
5. His hair. There is nothing that Lee likes more than his hair. It is the most well taken care of part of his body, and one of his greatest fears is waking up one morning to a shaved head. He'd probably cry.

DISLIKES:
1. Playing sports. It didn't take long for Lee to discover that running around and getting sweaty was not his favourite thing to do, and even now he hates joining people even if its just to kick a football around.
2. Eastenders. His two older sisters are obsessed with the show, and they made him sit still and watch it with them whenever he annoyed them, which was nearly all the time. He now has a passionate dislike for the show, and will exclaim his hatred to anyone who will listen.
3. Cars. He just doesn't like vehicular transportation - why would anyone do that when they can walk?
4. Cold weather. It means that he's forced into riding a car most places that he would usually walk to. It's completely unfair.
5. Mint flavours. There's no real reason for this one, he just hates cool mint flavours. A lot.

INSIDE SCOOP:
1. It's horriblely cliched, but Lee is madly and head-over-heels in love with Angelina Johnson. The number of times he's asked her out almost number the hairs on his head, to give a general idea. However, she's one of his best friends. That always makes for some awkward fun!
2. Lee is kind of a shoplifter. Well, not kind of - he is a shoplifter. He just can't help the itchy palms. He doesn't do it very often anyway, in order to avoid the risk of being caught.
3. He is afraid of insects. Not just spiders, or bumblebees, or butterflies - anything with more six or more legs that either flies or crawls is a guaranteed way to make Lee scream. Like a girl.

HISTORY: Lee's childhood was a fairly uneventful one. Born the youngest child and only son to Randall and Lisa Jordan, he grew up following around his older sisters, Ella and Theresa, and pestering them until they finally caved and let him stay up late to watch television with them. Randall worked to support the family while Lisa constantly toiled away at creating the Next Great British Novel - something she still hasn't achieved yet. For this very reason, the furniture in the Jordan household was always being rearranged - Lisa claimed that a change of scenery would help fuel inspiration, so every few weeks she had her children redecorate the living room.

No one else in Lee's family had gone to Hogwarts before him, so naturally it was a bit of a shock when Lee was invited to the school on scholarship for his academic abilities (despite his rather hyperactive nature, Lee had done very well in school). And so the Jordans sent Lee off to Hogwarts at the age of eleven. He was sorted into Gryffindor and immediately found friends, and a few enemies (though the enemies were largely made with the help of Fred and George, since Lee claims that his cute face could never make enemies all by its lonesome). After discovering that he actually hated playing sports with a fiery passion, he didn't quite know what to do with himself since all of his friends seemed to be athletic. Fortunately, he just so happened to provide a rousing commentary on the football match in order to impress a girl within earshot of a few of the professors, and he was given a sort of permanent job as the sports announcer for Hogwarts.

Now that he has completed his schooling at Hogwarts, Lee hopes to break into the big time - that is, being some sort of TV announcer. For now he'll settle with his job at The Times, where he is currently nothing more than a glorified secretary after he accidentally included one too many personal opinions in his first article that he wrote as a sort of trial when he first got the job. He has high hopes that he'll one day be churning out some prizewinning journalism, but until that time he'll hang out in his flat with Oliver, play lots of Ninentendo, and attend as many sports matches as possible.