Holden was sitting underneath a tree barefoot, with only a pair of skinny jeans and a t-shirt on. A glass of lemonade sat beside him, and his knees were drawn up towards his chest so that he could write in the notebook he had propped up on it. Holden was always writing it seemed. Even he didn't have a notebook on him, he had his laptop. Everett was the only person he really let read any of his writings, though, and he took comfort in the older wolf's encouragement.

He had his headphones on when Sullivan came outside, but Holden sensed him right away. He hadn't expected the other wolf to come up to him, though, so he was a little bit surprised when he realized that Sullivan was headed in his direction. He tugged one of the earbuds out of his ear just in time to get the greeting, and he tipped his head up to look at the other boy.

"Nothing," he answered, "Just writing. What about you?"

It was strange to even really have a conversation with Sullivan. Holden had noticed the changes in him, and Austin as well, and he was thankful that Sullivan had helped saved Robin.

A lot about Holden was interlocked with Robin. He was a bit bigger than Robin was, but not by a whole lot. He was just as thin and pale as Robin was, and the two even dressed rather similarly. Holden even had dark hair, but unlike Robin, his eyes were a dull steel grey sort of color.

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Very little about Holden had escaped Sullivan. At first it was studying prey, then it was knowing his pack. "Nothing, taking a break." If he wasn't obsessing over finding Oliver and Harris, he was eating, or tinkering with cars. "What are you writing?" He didn't wait to be invited, plopping himself down next to the boy.

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Most people never asked that question, so he couldn't help but be a tiny bit surprised. He blinked and glanced down at his notebook. His handwriting was small and very fine, precise. He wrote a lot, so most would think his hand writing would be messy, but he took great care in making every thing as legible as possible.

"Just a story," he replied, looking back up at Sullivan. "I'm not sure what it's about yet. I just started it an hour ago."

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Folding his legs indian-style, Sullivan looked fairly skeptical. "How can you be writing a story and not know what it's about?" Wasn't that the whole job of an author? Sullivan was, of course, an unfailingly practical person, and knew nothing of the creative experience. Sometimes he watched Robin sketch and could hardly fathom the thinking that went into something like that. Or he'd watch Tes paint and be completely baffled.

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Holden couldn't help but smile a little bit at the question. Just like how he didn't understand the creative process of things, Holden couldn't work on a car for the life of him the way that Sullivan could. It was just interesting to think of how different they were.

"Sometimes I just start to write so I can see what comes out," he answered, "I mean, sometimes I get an idea and I write based off of that. But other times, you can go a while where nothing comes at all, so you just start writing and maybe something will flow."

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The old Sullivan simply would have reached forward quickly and snatched the book out of Holden's hand. Instead, he lengthened his spine, lifting his shoulders and head to peer curiously over at it. "Robin sketches the pack. Everett writes about the pack. Vaughn takes pictures of the pack. So who are you writing about?" It was a fair guess, though he had no idea how accurate it may or may not be.

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Holden blinked and lowered his gaze down to the paragraphs he had scrawled so far across the page. He realized he hadn't put a period after the last sentence he had written, so he lowered his pen to do so. He lifted his pen back up, then wet his lips. He turned his attention back to Sullivan and shrugged a little bit.

"Robin," he admitted after a moment. He wasn't going to lie about it, or feel embarassed. He had been with Robin before Sullivan and Haben, and then things had changed. He was doing his best to be okay with it, but it wasn't always easy.

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"You still smell like his mate," Sullivan commented casually. It was just a fact and he wasn't bothered by it at all. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate Haben's affection for Robin, but ultimately that boy would always feel wrong to Sullivan, an 'other.' Holden was pack, a wolf. "Robin needs a lot, but I think eventually he'll stop needing me, you know?" He'd been thinking about it lately. Sullivan wasn't exactly analytical in the mental sense, but he had good intuition about things. "And who the hell knows about the cat."

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Holden lowered his eyes for a moment before he looked back up at Sullivan. It was strange to hear those words from the other wolf, but it also felt a little comforting.

"I haven't been with Robin like that in a long while," he said after a moment before he sat back against the tree behind him. "And I don't think that he will ever stop needing you. He really loves you." And he imagined Robin really loved Haben as well.

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"Doesn't mean you shouldn't be with him 'like that.'" Sullivan made the air quotes and they came off a little condescending. Still, he was remaining honest. "Would it bother you if he was still with us and you?" Austin struggled with it, and Sullivan hated wanting Robin for that reason, but the fact of it remained. His gaze was scrutinizing, more so than usual.

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At the air quotes, Holden couldn't help but shake his head and chuckle a little bit. He chewed on the inside of his lower lip and looked away, thinking for a moment as he went quiet.

"I don't know," he said after a moment before he shook his head again. "I don't think I would mind it. Robin's special, he just is." And sometimes Holden thought that sharing him would be worth it.

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Special. Sullivan smirked. Spoiled in strange ways. Over compensating certainly. But maybe Robin deserved to overcompensate. "Then you should get on that." That was his best advice. "Your gut doesn't tell you the wrong thing for you. It might upset something else, but it's going to make you happier in the long run." After a second he wrinkled his nose. "Jesus Christ, I sound like zen little Jack." Definitely not a compliment to the blond wolf.

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"It's not just up to me," Holden replied, letting his head tip back as he looked up at the sky. Robin had to want it too, and that was where things got confusing. At the mention of Jack, Holden smiled a little bit and looked over at Sullivan.

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Sticking out his tongue, Sullivan shook his head. "Robin wants it, he wants it all. He just doesn't think he can have it." It didn't feel strange at all to him, talking to Holden. It made sense, considering their connection to Robin. At least it made sense to him. "Either way, thanks for looking out for him after the whole--you know."

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Maybe Robin wanted it, sometimes Holden felt that Robin did, but he wasn't always sure. He tapped the top of his pen against his notebook idly as he looked over at Sullivan, his expression softening some.

"I'd been avoiding him for a really long time, and then when... everything happened I realized it was really selfish and childish of me," he admitted quietly. Avoiding Robin for his own broken heart had made sense at the time, but after almost losing the boy it seemed ridiculous. "Thank you, too. For looking after him."

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Robin did seem to have a way of making it seem like anything that wasn't for him was selfish. Sullivan wasn't sure how he did it, but he was sure it wasn't intentional. Even though he didn't think avoiding Robin was selfish of Holden, he didn't correct him. Sighing, he laid back in the grass, careful to avoid Holden's lemonade. "Kind of a fucked up situation. I'll be humans don't deal with this shit." He laughed.

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Holden worried at his bottom lip a little bit before he let his legs straighten out and his notebook slip from his lap. He let out a quiet sigh, wondering how some peopel could do the awful things that they did to eachother. Sure, sometimes things in the pack could be a little brutal, but at the end of it they were a family that protected eachother when needed. At least Holden felt it was that way.

"It's amazing at what humans can do to eachother," he said after a moment, "Or just do in general."

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Sullivan hadn't liked humans before the whole incident, but he downright hated them now. Wolves were superior in every way. "I don't get how any of us can be with a human. Except maybe to make more werewolves." It disturbed him a little because he was starting to sound like his father, but the older he got the more he felt like humans were a waste of space.

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"Not all of them are bad," Holden said after a moment, letting his head to the side as he gazed off into the distance, just watching the tree move. "Luka was very sweet. But it's not the same, you know? That connection, it won't ever be the same if one of us is with a human than if we were with someone like us. At least I don't think it will be," he clarified. He supposed it was probably different for everyone. "Even we can do terrible things to eachother sometimes. Look at Cassidy's pack, they really abused and hurt him."

He was aware that maybe Sullivan hadn't yet met Cassidy, or been aware of the boy's situation if he had. The only reason why Holden knew what he knew was because he was quiet, and sometimes people talked and he just heard things.

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Accepting gray areas was not Sullivan's strong suit and Holden's words made him frown. "They were just mutts then." Louisa's pack history had already put him at unease with his own strict world view. But at least their alpha had been overpowered by a good alpha, Louisa herself. Cassidy's pack was even worse. After a moment of thinking, Sullivan tried to make sense of it. "Survival of the fittest. Maybe Cassidy should have stuck it out.." As he said it, he knew something was wrong with the logic. "It'll make him stronger."

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"There's a difference between making someone stronger, and hurting them just because you can," Holden replied after a moment. He was well aware of the fact that Sullivan had walked a fine line with that sort of thing, Austin as well. "There's a difference between pushing someone to realize that they can say no, or stick up for themselves, and starving them and beating them and abusing them," he clarified. "There's a difference between asserting dominance and just being plain cruel."

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Sullivan did not like thinking. Existing in the cerebral made him feel stupid, logic choking him up and he kept runing into walls. It was why he hated school so much. It was clear that this line of conversation was agitating him a little. "Have you met the kid? And what about those two little ones? You hardly ever come up to the main house. Why is that?"

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"I met him for a second, the other morning when Loren took him and Everett to get the little ones," he answered, because he'd wanted to give Ever something of his that he'd written. "And yeah, I met the little ones. I think Julian looks like a mini Robin," he added, then he offered a shrug. "I just like to keep to myself sometimes, I guess."

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Sometimes? Sullivan thought all the time. Robin had always felt like he didn't fit in and he figured Holden must feel the same way too. "If you're not careful, you're going to turn into Felix. Working all the time and living as far away as possible." As far away and still on pack lands, he meant.

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Holden offered a simple roll of his shoulders at that and lifted a hand up to ruffle it through his dark hair. He wasn't sure that he'd end up quite like Felix. Holden tried to be social, and he could be when he wanted, and he did like other members of the pack. He was just a loner sometimes.

"I guess I should be more social, I don't know," he said after a moment, reaching for his lemonade to take a sip.

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"Guess there are more people to be social with than just me." Maybe he'd judged based solely on the fact that the two of them hadn't interacted much. He mimicked the shrug and then got to his feet. He'd pretty much said what he'd come to say. "I'll let you get back to writing."

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"Okay," Holden replied, tipping his head up to look at Sullivan as the wolf got up. He had to squint a little bit because of the way the sun was streaming down, but he didn't mind. "I guess I'll see you around. Goodluck with everything." Everything with Robin and finding the ones who had hurt him.

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