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So months after what should have been our final break up, here I am having to say goodbye all over again. I can honestly say that it's getting easier and easier to watch Denton walk out of my life and I really hope that this is the last and final time. I can't handle the lies anymore and that seems to be the only consistent thing in his life.

I guess it's easier this time because for one, I was the one who ended the relationship. Two, I think that when he broke up with me in December and I got my own place and became independent, I unknowingly fell out of love with him. I didn't realize just how much my feelings had changed until we got back together and I found myself becoming increasingly annoyed by everything that he did. I no longer appreciated the little things that he did for me, I no longer wanted to do things for him. He even started to notice these things and that still didnt motivate me to change. That should have been enough confirmation for me to end the relationship, but when I tried to, he'd make me feel so guilty that I would start to second guess myself and I wouldn't go through with it. But you should never stay in a relationship with someone just because you're scared of hurting them. 

I would probably still be unhappily with him had he not lied to me about going over to Michaels so I guess, in a sense, I have that to be grateful for. I should have known that when he told me that HE had made contact with Michael and asked him to go eat lunch that it was the beginning of the end. When he told me today that he wanted to go to Tunica with Michael & his friends and that he had invited him to some bars next week, I knew right then & there that we couldnt be together. I know that it's wrong to put restrictions on a relationship, but I honestly wouldnt be uspet about him going to bars had he not CHEATED on me the very first time he went out to one! He has to own up to his actions & realize that if Michael really means THAT much to him (which I don't understand in any way ... ) then he needs to give me time to trust him again. But according to Denton, Michael doesn't even want to try & be friends. You would think that since you're in a long term exclusive relationship with someone that you wouldnt intentionally seek out friends that hate your girlfriend & are unwilling to even try to comprimise! 

I'm just truly disgusted with Denton at this point. It's so much easier for me to move on from this relationship and really start my life over when he's being suck a dick head about everything. I know that once he comes out of this little "i wanna do whatever i want mood" he's going to call me & say that I was right  and blah blah blah. So i'm going to go back on my dads cell phone plan on Wednesday & change my #. I'm going to give Denton my IPHONE and let him do whatever he needs to with it to fix our phone plans. That way ...  he can't contact me in any way & I can finally live my life for me and not for Denton.