2008.
"Joy" would be the word to best describe this year. "Loss" would fit into it, too, but there's Joy in some Loss, I've found.
This year, in my life, found us waiting for my grandfather to succumb. It was a long road and far more intense for my grandmother and my aunt and baby uncle, the ones there while it was all happening, but we got to see him twice this year and have nearly all the family together in July. He was well loved and his pain is gone, and I was so grateful to get that call - his pain was over.
And he's with his oldest son, my father, and while I'm not religious, I have a very firm beliefe in an afterlife, that the energy of the soul doesn't dissipate, it merely changes. They are together, they see us, they know us, and someday I will see them again.
Finding Joy in the Loss.My children turned twelve, ten and eight, and middle school loomed. My stubborn, strong oldest child has been challenged mightily there, both in schoolwork and in personal relationships, but she accepts and faces those challenges and I feel will exit the year a changed, more mature teenager than when she entered, with some hard-learned lessons under her figurative belt.
Fannish wise - while on my way to my first
Starsky & Hutch con, I learned the sad news of LeRoi Moore's passing, on my youngest's birthday. I am grateful I had the chance to see him perform live with The Dave Matthews Band twice before he died from complications of an ATV accident. He has a little mention in the EW's memorial page this week.
Finding Joy in the loss.I attended Con*Strict with the Best. Roomies. Ever.
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master_chatnoir (buttsnuggles!) and
the_haunt, even though our room servicing was....nearly non-existent! And attached was my ever-attached roomie,
wyomingnot, for it's not a con if she's not within doorway reach! With fingers crossed I'll be able to attend again but at the moment I'm not making any promises.
Then in August I flew to Baltimore, to be collected by the ever lovely
mrshamill. She introduced me to cicadas and what living in the DC area was like, to the Baltimore National Aquarium and then to meet
kris4n6. Plus she watched my S&H vids on her big screen tv and didn't shrivel doing so! :D
She dropped me at my hotel where I met up with a group of people, none of whom I'd ever met in person, but you know? It didn't matter. I felt like I knew them all, so well. My roomie
enednoviel proved to be an even more fantastic person IN person. I'm so lucky to have found her. And so many others I met there: Sue and Flamingo and Dawn and Nik and Kimberly and Lorraine and Suzan and Candy Apple (and her mom!) and Pepper and so many others...I felt so welcomed and loved and fangirled - wow. I've never had that before and it was both distressing and flattering for I felt I should only be fangirling all of THEM!
Joy.I wrote a bunch this year, helped
gloriana with
flashslash, dragged folks kicking and screaming to participate and then sat back and watched in glee as they dragged THEIR friends over. So many fandoms are represented there now, S&H being a fairly well represented one.
I drove the
crack_van twice, premiered three vids at SHarecon, and wrote a longer story that I'm so proud of...they say zine stories rarely get feedback, but I have been blessed in that this story has resulted in so many pieces of such wonderful, insightful feedback that it has boosted my morale and my writing needs so much.
I continue to find much satisfaction in vidding and have a list a mile long, which I look at time and again with increased anticipation of tackling, one by one.
Joy.On my walls are two incredible hand drawings of Hutch, and Starsky and Hutch, the second being specifically FOR the story I mentioned above. The generosity makes my eyes well, the beauty of the drawings and the love of the giver. I am blessed.
Joy.A special ray of sunshine helped light my world this year:
smudley, only recently on LJ. A sweeter person you'll never meet online, and her bravery and tenaciousness makes me realize that I don't need to be a slouch. If she can fight for herself, then I can fight for myself, too. She consistently supports the rest of us while turning out the most beautiful, tender stories herself. She is a gem and an inspiration.
Joy.I get up in the morning looking forward to the day. To see what Joy I can find or what Joy will find me. To search for that silver lining, to recognize freedom when it presents itself. I did what I could for a presidential election and still, to hear the results can bring me to grateful tears and sheer pride and wondrous hope, for Yes, We Can.
I am lucky enough to not have just one job I work from home, but two, this year, both of which have been frustrating and gratifying in their own ways. Job #1 gave me a promotion and a significant raise, along with some exciting, new responsibilities. Job #2 made me think and counsel and support and come up with ideas that my boss said were good ones, which made me proud, and he is now offering all three of us even more hours if we wish them for additional tasks.
Joy.My children are healthy. We are in debt but we have a solid and secure roof over our heads, vehicles that run well, a solid marriage and family all around us.
And I have all of you.
2008 - you brought much. May 2009 be as equal in its joy.
Bless.
