Ok I know the people this is directed towards will never read this but I have to get it out of my system before I explode: NO, I am NOT mixed! I am NOT half-black NOR am I half-Hispanic/Latino/Latina/whatthefuckeverelseyoucanthinkof! I do however, or so I've been told, I have some Indian(along with German and Irish, allegedly) in me and when I tan it normally sticks year round making me look darker than what I am.

You have no idea how often I get asked that.

( I am a CRACKER AMONG CRACKERS! )

mood: discontent

Day 02: Song you're currently obsessed with
Definitely CeeLo Green--Fuck You

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAV0XrbEwNc

You only get a link cause I'm lazy as hell right now.

In other news, my iPod shipped yesterday from China, right now is in Canton, Ohio, while my laptop shipped last night from Pennsylvania, it's also now in Canton, Ohio, and I think both may get here today. But I figured if my iPod shipped from China then so would my laptop or vice versa. My iPod still says the estimated delivery date is tomorrow but if it is in Canton, Ohio now, and that is only 25 minutes away from Dover, then I should be getting it today. I sure hope so, cause I wanna play with my new toy(s)!

GOT MY TOYS! I LOVE THEM!

mood: happy music: Ceelo Green--Fuck You

So following in the footsteps of kiokushitaka and omegatrinity I'm going to be doing the meme.

Day 01: Favourite Song
The Poorboys Express-Song For Mama

After much thought and careful consideration I chose this song. My Uncle Fred wrote this song for his mom, my grandma(no duh, amirite?), and ever since I was little I can always remember my Grandma Monigold requesting the band, my dad and 4 of my uncles aka The Poorboys Express, to play this song for her. Even now as an adult I still request this song for her even though she has been gone for nearly 5 years. I try so hard to not cry when they play it but it is so hard and there are hardly any songs, on a normal non-period emotionally charged day, that can move me to tears like that song can.

Ok so now an actual update. My iPod touch got shipped out today, hoping my laptop will follow tomorrow or the day after, and it should be here by Friday, possibly Saturday.

I got my Cavalier and now I need to ask my brother-in-law if he would be willing to take the cd player out of my black Cavalier and put it in the red one. My red one does have factory cd player in it but for some reason today it decided to be a whore-bitch and stop reading the cd's I've burned. I think if I bribe him with Pumpkin Raisin Cookies he'll do it :)

I put a $200 deposit on my $350 tattoo that I am getting next Tuesday. I go in at 9am, not so happy about that buuuuut... it was the only time available he had that was early in the day that didn't interfere with my classes. It is a pretty big piece and we are going to see how much we can get done in a 3 hour session since my first class starts at 12:50 on Tuesday. Even if we don't get completely done he said that we should be extremely close to being done after the first session. I may just e-mail my teacher and let him know that I'll be late to class due to another issue at hand. I've had this teacher before he'll understand.

Hopefully after the kids go to bed I can get started on making my no-bake cookies for my sister-in-law. Then I need to make Peanut Butter cookies for my brother and then I'll need to get the stuff for Pumpkin Raisin Cookies. So much to do! Next weekend is our annual Labor Day cook-out and we are, supposedly, going to be having a bake sale to raise money to rent out the local Fire Hall for our Christmas Party. So I'm going to be making cookies for that, too.

School starts in 5 days and I'm so stoked! Can't wait to get up at 8am Monday morning and be a t Kent by 9-9:15 for my 9:20-10:35 class. Looking forward to having a life, somewhat.

mood: content music: The Poorboys Express--Song For Mama

Today ended up being a bad morning for me. I got up on time and everything but the only clean pair of pants I had were jeans, which I hate, my hoodie smelled like it was burned, smoke from the fire on Sunday, I go to leave and I forget my good sunglasses on my computer desk. Luckily I had another pair in my car but they are purple lenses and aren't really used to blocking out the sun..gotta love Dollar Tree sunglasses. Half-way to school I realized that I left my cell phone still on my pillows but I didn't have enough time to turn around and go back and get it. I get to school, set my stuff in my class, head towards the ATM so I can get something to drink, the ATM was temporarily out of service, so I went back to class and on my way back I managed to trip over the flat surface called a floor. I didn't fall or anything but I stumbled over myself and thankfully there wasn't anyone else around to witness that.

I was looking at the S10 for sale near my house and my dad looked at it too and it isn't bad but there are some things wrong with it that my dad didn't care too much for and since we looked at it when they were closed we decided to wait until today to see how much. I decided to call them today after school to see how much and they want $6995 with $600 down. Not bad but for me, with the driver's side door not shutting right to the point to where you have to shove yourself against it to make sure it's shut, that seems a bit much.

So today I got bored and went online to Auto Trader and found a 2002 Metallic Green Beetle at Chuck Nicholson, which is like less than a minute drive from my house, for sale for a little over $7 and if I could get them to take my car on trade AND get my dad or my brother in law to talk them down I could probably get it for just as much as the S10 or less. So after my dad gets home I'm going to try and see if he'll go over there with me so we can take a look at it.

( Long ass link to the beetle )

Sexy no?

mood: bouncy

My car hates me. I'm sure of it. For one it has a leak somewhere that has to do with my power steering fluid. I've had to top it off twice in about a 16-18 hour period. Another problem my car is giving me is that even when the power steering reservoir is full, steering the car is still a bitch. So I think my car is out to kill me. I think it secretly hates me for wishing someone would hit it so I could get a new one. But after much thought I decided that having someone hitting it wasn't a good idea because my car is so shitty that my blue book value is about $300 and I can't buy shit for a car for that much.

So after my appointment here at Kent I'm going to check my power steering fluid, top off if I need to, head home, let my car cool down and have my dad look at it. Branden may be able to see what's wrong with it According to my dad it sounds like my power steering pump is going bad and hopefully, if it can be fixed, fix it this weekend so I can have it for school. I have nothing else to drive and I can't rely on anyone for a ride to school because I don't have anyone to get a ride from.

This be my life. It sucks. There is a beetle for sale at a car lot I pass to and from school but I don't know how much or if it is an automatic. I may do a little online research to see if the car lot has a website.


3:30 can't get here fast enough.

Feeling even better today. Dad, my sister, and I went to Bob Evans for brunch and it was good and I enjoyed spending time with her. I like it when it's just my sister, my dad and I. Only for the simple fact that when we were younger we didn't get to spend any time like that with him; when my brothers were younger, my dad and my brothers would go camping the first week of July, when my dad got a week of vacation, and it was just my sister, mom, and I. Which I did like but up until my mom left us I really didn't know my dad and he and I weren't close at all. It was so awkward trying to comfort him and him trying to comfort me...during the day I'd be gone just because I didn't want to be alone.

I digress.

I got a Country Caesar salad with no bacon, no chicken, and no cheese-still avoiding milk and milk made products for the time being and it was pretty good but I still have this fullness feeling in my stomach and I didn't want to over-eat so I brought almost my entire salad home along with my two biscuits.

I'm keeping it down pretty well. My chest still hurts from all the heaving and hacking up I did, my neck is still a bit sore when I move it a certain way, but other than that feeling pretty good. Keeping my bedroom window cracked just in case I get too hot. I have a History mid-term on Monday but I am just way too damn tired to study for it. Spring Break can't get here fast enough. Seriously. It can't. Unfortunately my Spring Break isn't until March 29th and I go back April 5th. I soooooo need a break now even my dad is noticing that within the past week I've been different.

Being snowed in with 3 screaming brats, who haven't had a full week of school in over a month, takes a toll on a person too. They've either had snow day after snow day, had 2 hour delays and since they are in the morning classes they just end up being canceled anyways, or they've been sick. So my life here has been even more of a living hell. I hate kids. Not all kids. Just the ones I'm forced to live with. I love babies. I know it will be completely different if I ever have my own kids but until that time I don't want to spend my time around anyone else's kids. The more time I spend with them the more I never want to have kids....EVER.

Alright I'm going to go and do something I just don't know what yet. Maybe just relaxing for now. I may head over to my sister's later if my dad decides to head over there.

mood: drained

I need MSP!!!! I must have ACII DLC!

mood: dorky

http://www.etsy.com/shop/zolarayne

My Etsy shop. I will have more up here soon...just have to find my digital camera. I do custom work; I will compile a list of what I have made/can make and post it along with a list of the colors of yarn I currently have. I do plan on getting more yarn I just have to make my way to Bolek's here soon.

Any questions just ask me and I'll answer the best I can. I put custom work ahead of everything else but I do have school so I may not be able to constantly work on it but I'll keep you updated on my progress with pictures.

I don't charge extra for shipping if you buy more than 1 thing $5 is a flat rate no matter how many items you buy.

P.S-US Formative History is BORING! It may be different with a different teacher but I'll never know b/c Li teaches most history if not all of them. :/

mood: creative

Once again it is proven that I can't have anything. Dad and I had bought Cinnamon Brown Sugar Pop-Tarts along with S'mores pop-tarts and he told Crystal to not give the Cinnamon Brown Sugar ones to the kids because I liked them the best and that they were pretty much mine. So she ok. Fuzz on the other never got the memo and gave MY Pop-tarts to those brats. So Now I gotta go buy pop-tarts AND put my name on them so that no one will eat them.

Why can't I have anything? Even if it is just a simple box of Pop-tarts. MY kind of pop-tarts. The kind of pop-tarts no one eats except for when they are told NOT to.

Not too mention I've told them fucking kids to stay out of the kitchen and yet they continue to play in there as if they have never been told to stay out. I swear to fucking god I'm going to be living in my car if shit around here does not change.

I can't handle this anymore. I'M DONE. So until things start changing around here I'm not putting anything into this house unless I buy it for myself or dad or Abby. So I'm NOT buying Laundry detergent, I'm NOT buying food (because when there is actually food in this house no one fucking eats it because all they want to do is eat out and it spoils but yet when there is no food in the house all they do is bitch because there isn't any food), I'm NOT buying paper plates, milk, juice, or anything else for this house.

Not too mention Fuzz got paid yesterday so I figured since he used my car he'd put gas in it since he travels further than I do and after all he said he would. Did he? Fuck no, of course he didn't. So now I have to go put gas in my car which doesn't bother me but since I have to travel the least amount of distance, IE-I use LESS GAS then I shouldn't have to put gas in it when he uses my car more than I do and for longer periods of time.

So here soon I'm off to Wal-mart to pick pop-tarts, a new toothbrush for myself and one for dad, plus toothpaste, and maybe a few things here or there. Maybe some Microsoft points. So that's $20 in my gas tank, $20 for points, and probably $15-$20 for pop-tarts, TP, toothpaste, and toothbrushes.

I hate living here. It is so unbearable. I think living under a bridge overpass would be a million times better than this. I don't even have a place to escape to for long periods of time. School helps during the day but I do have to come home and give up my car like I don't even own it.

I better go or else I may go on a mass murdering rampage and then I'd really hit the national news.

"Young Female Snaps Killing Brother, Sister-In-Law, Nieces and Nephew and Then Herself"

Wonderful title, isn't it?

mood: infuriated

A very big "THANK YOU" going out to kiokushitaka for putting up the download for the Lost Prophets cd The Betrayed. I love the cd so much that it is on my list to buy next. I put it on my itunes and ipod-I love it. Definitely buying it this weekend if funds permit.

Ok so I'm really hoping and praying that my refund $ shows up in my account for tomorrow (well today I suppose since it will be after midnight when I post this.)

The computer desk that I wanted from Wal-mart.com is sold out and it's not sold in Wal-mart stores so now I'm on the hunt looking for another one that is decently priced. I want it to be able to hold my monitor and also have enough room for me to be able to do homework and possibly room for a printer. Though if I have it my way I'm going to get a wireless printer and put it out in the room next to mine so that dad won't have to come into my room when he prints something off and vice versa. So when I get my money, after I order my computer and computer chair, and get everything else I need I'm going to head to Staples and see what they have. I'm looking for a corner desk but if it isn't a corner desk but has the room I need and is decently priced I'll buy it. I'll need my dad's truck or at least have him go with me when I get it.

Any who, yeah yesterday I slept for over 12 hours. I fell asleep about 6pm, woke up once at 11, went back to bed, woke up again at 2, went back to sleep and finally got up at 6:30am. And I've been up ever since then. Part of my body is screaming for sleep but the other part is on edge wondering whether or not today is the day I get my refund money. School starts on Tuesday and I don't have to have my books right then but I like knowing that I do have them just in case.

Beh. I may have to call the Kent office if my $ isn't in. Our Brown Bag Party is on Saturday and I want to buy the stuff I want which isn't a whole lot but...yeah it's me and I should've had my $ on Tuesday but yeah. I can only hope that it is in by tomorrow...well today now but if not I'm hoping by Friday at the latest.

I better go. I should probably get some sleep. I'll need to call the bank after 9am to see if it is in or not. I'm trying not to get frustrated by it but I can't help it.

mood: hopeful

INTERNET! SWEET SWEET INTERNET!

Yeah I had no internet for the past week cause time warner sucks but now we have verizon and sweet jesus internet!

Yeah I'll make an update later.

Oh yeah in my part of Ohio we are getting a snow storm from hell. It's supposed to snow from today until Saturday and probably then some. Peachy. /sarcasm.

I have 9 bob-ombs that I have to make. 6 of those 9 are commissioned and so I pretty much have to crochet till my fingers fall off lol. I am also going to be attempting the Chain-chomp, Luma, and the 1up mushrooms and very possibly the fire-power-flower. Although after I get my 9 bob-ombs finished I wanna alter the pattern to make myself a Bob-omb purse...I am wondering how that will turn out.

I had to go and buy a sort of tacky fabric glue since the clear Elmer's glue didn't work at all...so I tried sewing the eyes on with a needle and thread and well the 2 bob-ombs I have made look like retards so I'm just going to keep them and start over. My Mom and Mike each want one and they are gonna give me $20 for both just so I'll have the extra $ for supplies. AWESOME. I'm only charging $5 for each but they are being really generous about the extra $10. I'm trying to put myself in the mind set of "just get them done" and not trying to think about who is buying and the ones I'm making for my nephews(those are free for them.) Mom and Mike's will definitely have to be done by the time they get here for Christmas and as for everyone else I'm going to try my damnedest to get them completely done before I start school in January.

Speaking of which my FASFA is finally completed, it was missing my dad's electronic signature, and I got that done yesterday so now I just sit back and see how much I'm going to get back minus tuition and books. Then this way I can see how much I am gonna have left to get my first desktop and it is going to be a MAC. Hopefully the iMac. It's only going to be $1399 plus free shipping so that isn't too bad I paid $1100 for the laptop I have now, which I am keeping, so an extra $300 isn't going to do a whole lot I just wanna make sure I'll be able to have the $ for it. Then after I get my new comp I plan on getting my star tattoo on the back of my neck and depending on how much I have left over I may treat myself to a few new games, a year long Live membership, Microsoft points, and maybe talking dad into going to Canton for a small shopping spree. Though before that I'll need to make a list of the things I'll absolutely need like pencils, lead, pens, notebook(5-subject), and binders and then I'll get some new shoes because I know my steeled-toe ones aren't going to be lasting too much longer.

But I am getting WAY ahead of myself here and I'm going to end this so that I can continue to work on my bob-ombs and make people happy.

mood: content

☺

Have a nice day!

*random entry is totally random*

Ok so I got my classes scheduled today and starting January 19th I shall be a college student yet again. I have 14 credit hours for the semester and I got my FASFA all filled out. I just need to print something out, have my dad sign it, and mail it out.

My classes are really close together for the most part I do have a 50 minute window on all my days but mostly they are close together so I am less tempted to skip.

Ok my schedule:

Mondays/Wednesdays:
10:45-12-US Formative Period(History credit which will complete my Humanities and Fine Arts part of my degree)
12:50-2:05-Introduction to Sociology(This should complete my Social Sciences Credits)
2:15-3:30-College Writing 1(Will need College Writing II Fall of 10)

Tuesdays/Thursdays:
10:45-12- Introduction to Justice Studies(Again. Woo.)
12:50-2:05-Core Mathematics III(For only 7 weeks though and then I'm done with that. Not sure if I will need to schedule the next core class or not)

But that is my schedule and I feel a lot better about going now that I am on my medication and in counseling. I will let them know when the time comes that, if possible, I'll need to have counseling on Fridays.

With how little jobs available around here it just seems easier to put my time into college and at least get my 2 year degree and then decide whether or not I wanna go for my 4 year degree or not. I am actually very excited to start school again; depending on how much my refund will be, minus the cost of books, I am hoping to get a new back-pack, pencils, pens, notebooks and possibly binders. And after that depending on what I have left I am getting that Star Tattoo that I've been wanting forever and then depending on how much after that I wanna see if I can convince my mom and step-dad Mike to sell me the PT Cruiser. ^_^ Hahaha.

location: Home mood: excited music: Shinedown-If You Only Knew

Watching the girls right now. Got more sleep last night than what I've had in the past 4 days. But I am still tired and my room still needs to be cleaned and my closet definitely needs to be cleaned out as well.

I just want them to be here soon, though I asked them to pick up my brother's check so I wouldn't have to, so I can get back to my room cleaning and finally get it done before the turn of the next Century.

mood: blah