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| I finally got the balls to call him. Wow. It was incredible. He was pretty much crying because he was so happy to hear from me. He's such a fuckin cool guy. So laid back. He's 42, a musician and training to be a firefighter. I called him and left a message saying "Hey this is Megan Goldstein, pretty sure you know who I am and if that's the case we have some catching up to do, if not... Than you might want to call me anyways." Gave him my number and blahblah, a couple hours later he called me back. Said, "Hey, daughter." and we both just started laughing. I told him I didn't even know where to start and he was saying the same thing. From the beginning it was just good vibes, we talked for about 2 hours. ( The Story ) | ||||
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megnetic
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May 9th, 2009
April 20th, 2009
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| I found him. Norman. I think he still lives in Eugene, 541 area code. He's a phone call away! I just need to figure out what exactly it is i'm going to say to him. | ||||
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April 10th, 2009
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| I've been pretty busy... but relaxed, and have been focusing on only a couple people. Haven't been partying as much which is relieving, I just haven't had energy for it. Which means I don't go into work still drunk anymore, so my bosses are happy. Studying not stop for this 8-Week Psych class I just picked up. Chapter quiz everyday, exam every other week. So much information. On top of all my other classes, it has come to be an insane work load. Aand Zach is awesome. I really don't know if I see him in "that way" anymore. I'm hanging out with him in an hour or something and we're going to go paint a shed, how exciting... haha...I'm actually excited... I honestly just want to get naked and cover myself in paint. WOO. I'm so doing it. Who wants to get butt naked with me and go play in the mud!? Am I weird...? | ||||
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March 15th, 2009
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| Didn't see Alex. I guess I have to hurt him for him to learn. Gotta move on. It's been too fuckin long. | ||||
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March 2nd, 2009
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| Can't wait to get out of hereeeeee. I'm going to Vegas in a couple weeks. With 5 other girls that are insanely Orange County.. Why do I do things that I know I shouldn't do...? This trip is going to piss me the fuck off I can already see it. I don't want to dress up and go clubbing, I want to dress like a fuckin weirdo, get piss drunk and start trouble! Shitty deal | ||||
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February 26th, 2009
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| Concerned. Mom still doesn't know that I know about the whole... "Dad isn't really your dad" deal. She thinks I'm going to hate her once I find out. Hah I feel bad because she is going through so much trouble to make sure I don't hate her. It's funny b/c she was such a dumb bitch to me while I was growing up, and this is what she's worried about when it comes to hating her. Anyways, about the whole puppy thing... Isn't going to work out. Until I find my own place. So when I move, who's going to come with me to the shelter to pick out a puppy!? I just took a Chakra test, and apparently my Navel Chakra and my Third Eye Chakra are under-active. Booo :( I need to work on opening my damn chakras! | ||||
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February 17th, 2009
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| So far guys aren't even worth my time these days. it doesn't help that I'm picky... and I get sick of them so quickly. I'm thinking about getting a puppy, apparently I can get a poodle/chihuahua mix for free. Bring it to Oregon with me, which btw... MELS WE NEED TO TALK =) Peru isn't lookin too good, I would've gone with Alex... And until he stops being so lame I can't even talk to him. And if I get a puppy that rules it out completely. I'm going to be there in less then 4 months, holy shit. Hopefully I can get into Portland State, if not community college seems okay too. I'm concerned about living so close to my dad, he's moving to downtown portland next month so I will no longer "live" in Lake O. Other than that, I'm hungover as fuck and I can't seem to pay attention in class. | ||||
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February 14th, 2009
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| Not a lot to write about, Alex called me at midnight to say happy valentines day. apparently he still has feelings for me. Riiiight. It's horrible that I'm lying to him about some major things... But I don't want to lose him as a friend. Sucks. I have no plans for tonight. Weston asked me out for valentines day, hah. Fuuck.. I know if I ever did anything with him it would ruin our friendship, which is too awesome to fuck up. I'm really confused with myself, I want the comfort of a steady ongoing relationship... But at the same time I just want to do whatever the fuck I want and I know that if I were in a relationship I wouldn't be able to do that. I'm thinkin that when I find the right guy, it'll just happen. Mel T. I need an address where I can send you your painting, I keep forgetting :( | ||||
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January 26th, 2009
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| New guy. We have an amazing time together... So uncomplicated. Best sex I've ever had... All I can say is damn, life is good. | ||||
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January 12th, 2009
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| I'm back here. I'm starting a new approach. Using them to better myself... because if I can find compassion for these kinds of people, then I have it made. I forgot how much I didn't miss this place. Hah | ||||
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January 1st, 2009
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| Wow dude. You know what isn't a good idea. Waking up in the morning, saying... I'm going to go to AZ today. When I left I felt liberated, but then I smoked a fat joint and started trippin balls on life. So being alone with myself for 8 hours straight driving at night in the middle of no where really got me thinking about the most horrible shit. I've felt this pressure in my chest for the past 2 days, and it's starting to go away. On the way back I was hungover, confused and I called Alex crying. He actually helped me out a lot... So the rest of the way I just put myself on auto-pilot and drove the fuck home. I feel so weird and I hate feeling this way. I like my friend in AZ and he's into me too but I was trippin out the whole time and I didn't even hint that I liked him at all. Which brings me to the question of why the fuck he likes me... haha That road is cursed. Everyone I've known that has driven on that road has gotten a flat tire or their car gets messed up somehow. I got a flat tire, but I found it funny. How come I'm not happy with having it so easy. I'm bitching and some people have real problems. | ||||
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December 23rd, 2008
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| I'm coming on the 3rd and staying until the 11th. I really freaked out at the guy at the counter to get this ticket and I feel kinda bad about it now haha. So 10 days. This is getting so old. | ||||
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December 21st, 2008
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| I'm in Sacramento airport. Got here and then my flight to Portland was canceled. And the only way that I could get out there is if I wait in this airport til the 25th. Soo they're flying me back to The OC... :'( BOooo. I'm going to go home, and paralyze myself with a massive blunt. I'm GOING to make it out there in January... Hopefully around the 4th, and stay til the 11th. Bummed out b/c I was planning on going to AZ to see a band from Kona on the 6th. But I just got off the phone with my friend over there and I guess I'm going to AZ for christmas! hah I miss you guys and I'll see you soon. | ||||
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December 20th, 2008
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| So I'm pretty sick. But I fly in tomorrow and I'll be there around 3, that is if the flights aren't canceled b/c of the weather. I guess my brothers car broke down so we have to share the car, which is lame because he works so he gets priority. On a good note I picked up THE bombest weed. It's called "God's Gift." But I found out that medical weed is damn expensive. I'll see you guys soon =) | ||||
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December 17th, 2008
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| I'm coming in 4 days and I'm starting to get sick... I heard it was 8 degrees in Portland the other night which means I'm going to freeze my ass off hah. I was afraid that I wasn't going to get my medical card b/c they refunded the money back into my account. But it came in today so I guess it was free, which is fucking awesome... I would've had to pay $100. I'm going to go tomorrow and pick up some edibles. My mom and dad are completely convinced that my brother is gay. But I know he's not... He's had girlfriends, he just doesn't talk about it with my parents. They need to stop talkin shit. | ||||
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December 10th, 2008
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| I went to go get my medical card today and the doctors office was super chill. They're sending it to me in a week, it just sucks that I can only use it in California. When I get it I'm going to buy the best weed, roll a fatty and try to make amends with Weston... b/c I really miss hanging out with the guy. I don't know what I'm going to say to him. 11 days! Muwahaha | ||||
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November 27th, 2008
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| When livins hard. Get stoned and listen to the Dark Side of the Moon album. | ||||
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November 13th, 2008
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| This is amazing. Ever since I stopped talking to him things have been so much better. He didn't care for a couple days, now he's calling me non-stop. I don't give a fuck about answering, I just don't want to let him back in my life... B/c it's so fucking good without him! It's different, and I feel like I'm different. I don't feel any desire to check up on him, or know what he's doing. He's gone, and I'm so happy that it's finally over. I stopped thinking that there was something wrong with me. It's him and his fucked up mind. He's a fucking idiot. I mean I still think about him all the time, but it doesn't drive me crazy like it used too. So now I'm just focused on living life. I'm not tied down to any guy anymore, and I'm not going to be for a very long time. | ||||
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October 26th, 2008
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| Alex is here... It's definitely not the same as it used to be. I feel like I went through way too much shit to get over him. I swear I went insane for a little bit... But the good thing about that is that I made myself repel every single feeling of love, devotion and attraction that I had for him. I think we'd be really good as friends, and since I've already made the decision that I'm not going to get back with him anytime soon, it helps me just stick to the good vibes and forget about everything else. I just wish he'd make up his mind b/c now he's acting as if we're still together... He calls me his girlfriend again, and we still hook up. For me it's more like closure, and I'll be fine when he leaves. But if he's not in the same mindset as me there's gonna be issues. My stubborn ass has made up it's mind, and it's not changing. | ||||
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October 22nd, 2008
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| I'm so happy that I've decided to not give a fuck about how other people make me feel, It's my life and I'm going to live it. FUCK EVERYTHING! =) YAY | ||||
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megnetic
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