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April 24th, 2009
12:11 am - part one.
"I'd like to take a bite out of that apple."
...how do you seriously respond to that?
"Oh, come here big boy, come have a taste of this sweet thang." Are you kidding me?
I don't want to be hit with outdated pick-up lines by old geezers who probably can't even bite into an apple without damaging their dentures! And honestly? I'm not going to swoon, my heart isn't going to go all a-flutter, I'm not going to jump over the counter, ravish you, and make you my Sugadaddy! I'm going to laugh in your face and then refer you to the fruit section because hey--we have every fucking apple you can think of, I'm sure you'll find one that tickles your fancy.
Just because you're a senile old crabcake, doesn't mean it's okay to be a pervert.
And that is my rant for the day. Thank you for reading.
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Comments:
...was it the guy who looks like the really, really old guy from Toy Story?
Like, the one who had to fix Woody?
Because...he's definitely a creeper. He comes into the store a lot, usually on Thursdays or Saturdays.
YES. Oh my god, I've sat here trying to figure out why he looked familiar and that is IT. O_O
Great, so more than likely that I'll be seeing him again? That's disgusting. I'm taking precautionary action and calling in, Saturday. XD
The first time I saw him, my instinctual reaction was 'Awww, old man! Adorable!' and then...he spoke, and I was scarred for life. I don’t even remember what he said. I blocked it out. It was that horrible.
Er…unfortunately. And yes, yes it is disgusting. :(
Oh, believe me, Toy Story man is the least of your worries. When you see the "Ham Man", then you can call out of work. He's this guy who like...stocks up on a million hams at a time, and no one knows why, but for some reason it creeps me out. I had to scan like...20 hams. We had to re-stock the next day.
The "Ham Man". I...don't even really know what to say to that. Like, I don't know whether to laugh my ass off or be absolutely terrified. Maybe he donates them...or something?
Me neither. And...I really hope he does, but he buys them, and then doesn't come back to the store for like...another month, or whatever. And he doesn't talk. I was like "Wow, you must really like ham, huh?" like, making small talk, and the dude just stared at me and gave a grunt, which I'm guessing translates into 'Hell yeah, I like ham!' in crazy Ham Man language.
But other than those two creepers, it isn't a bad place to work! There are some pretty cool people who work there. Including yours truly. Bwahaha!
/lame
Ham Man language?! I'm in STITCHES right now, that is...amazing.
Loser. <3 I haven't talked to anyone since I've started working, but I don't want them to be under the impression that I'm some stuck-up loner chick or whatever it is people like to think. Introduce me, yeah yeah?
xP
Oh come on. You are a stuck up loner chick.
I KID, I KID. I'll definitely introduce you to people, and I will clarify that you are not a stuck up loner chick. When's the next day you're working?
Today at like...two, if I'm not mistaken. And then Saturday morning, jerkfaaace.
What?! Jerkfaaace?!
How rude! I'm offended. What a brat.
I'll introduce you to people on Saturday, since I'm working then, too. I'm not gonna pop into the store on my day off just to make sure you have friends, loser. ♥
But you're a very cute jerkface!!!
D: Boo. I have friends, by the way! Aside from you, that is. |
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