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a.j. goldstein. ([info]paranoia) wrote,
@ 2008-01-04 17:54:00

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anthony jacob goldstein.


NAME Anthony Jacob Goldstein.
AGE/BIRTHDATE 17 / 28 December 1979.
HOUSE/YEAR Ravenclaw / Seventh.

LOCATION Golders Green, London, England.
POLITICAL AFFILIATION Dumbledore's Army and Harry Potter. FIGHT THE POWER.

No matter how many times his mother tells him that he needs a haircut, Anthony believes that haircuts are stupid and wears his dark brown hair rather shaggy and just past his ears. Anthony's hair is very important to him, and the way it flips out at the ends is a constant source of shame for him but there isn't much that he can do about it. As for the rest of him, Anthony embodies all that is somewhat displaced in a vaguely awkward way. Standing at a few centimeters under 6 feet, he's never been quite sure what to do with his height because he knows that it makes him stand out. He always looks as though he's trying to decide whether or not to hunch, and most people ask him if he had back problems as a child.

Anthony doesn't shop - most of his clothing is secondhand, passed down from Muggle and Wizarding relatives alike. Thus, his wardrobe is a hodgepodge of worn, outdated clothing and robes. He is most fond of his bulky, oversized jumpers that come in all sorts of ridiculous patterns and are hideously ugly.

PB Robert Schwartzman.

Whether it's the result of a childhood of Muggle influences spent watching and reading too much science fiction or he's this way naturally, Anthony knows, he just knows, that Something is Out There. Paranoid in many respects, he strongly believes in conspiracy theories and he wishes that everyone else would realize that They are watching him. Everyone around him is either hiding something, plotting his ultimate demise, or both. He is inherently distrustful of everything, from the boy sitting next to him in class to the sweets handed to him by a kindly old woman. One would think that being this on the edge all the time would be a dangerously unhealthy way to live, but Anthony actually wears it quite well. This is probably because Anthony is almost always planning some mischief himself.

The only reason Anthony is so watchfully paranoid towards everything is because he never fails to be up to no good. If he didn't think that organized crime was yet another government conspiracy to strike unnecessary fear into the hearts of the middle class, he'd call himself a criminal mastermind. If he were a fan of dramatics, he'd be constantly tenting his fingers and cackling. When he sees a locked door he doesn't see picking it open with a hairclip; instead, he envisions a team of five, dressed in black and fully equipped with the latest in lock-cutting technology in order to get into the room without making it look like they'd had to break the door down. His plans for petty theft and the like are almost always exaggerated - he can make lockpicking seem like high-profile bank robbery. On a lesser scale, Anthony can be counted on to always have a very good idea of where things are going. His back-up plans have back-up plans, meaning that he is rarely surprised.

Anthony very much enjoys keeping a low profile, at least when it comes to unsavoury activities such as planning the next great Rise of the Proletariat (and ignoring the fact that he would not be considered a member of the proletariat in the least). Keeping such a low profile has allowed Anthony to become a rather likeable person - his conspiracy theories are entertaining at the very least, and, despite his rampant paranoia, he's actually very friendly. He knows that it's better to have friends than enemies - friends are less likely to plot your demise, after all. His paranoia is something of a novelty, though, and those who have known him for a very long time are better off telling him to shut up when he goes off on wild tangents about how so-and-so is definitely about to do something very shady with that pen.

Those who like instant gratification should probably not hang out with Anthony. They say that slow and steady wins the race, and Anthony has applied this to absolutely every area of his life. Something that should take him seconds takes him hours; something that should take him hours takes him days. Overthinking is one of Anthony's greatest faults - he must analyze every aspect of every situation before he does something, and then he still won't do it until he's sure that it will work. The flip side of this is that nearly everything Anthony does is of very good quality, and he rarely makes a rash decision. While his ability to rationalise is somewhat lacking (if it involves people, he's a master at jumping to conclusions), he can still be counted on to take a step back and view a situation for what it's worth and proceed from there.

1) Every Halloween, Anthony dons a fake beard and speaks only in what he calls Epic Marxisms, such as "WORKING MEN OF ALL COUNTRIES, UNITE!" He doesn't particularly believe in Marxism, but he does believe that he can do an excellent German accent.
2) Anthony has an overwhelming distrust for authority figures, and he is notorious around Hogwarts for being the most lax Prefect imaginable. Unless you're a Slytherin, of course. The hope was that Anthony's position of power would give him some insight into what authority figures had to deal with, but it only served to fuel Anthony's hate for anything even remotely relating to Looming Figures of Power.
3) Not only does Anthony have really poor taste in music, but he also has an awful singing voice. Unfortunately, he not aware of either of these things. Ravenclaw students are especially accustomed to covering their ears whenever they hear Anthony clearing his throat to begin a rousing chorus of one of The Bleeding Banshees' greatest hits.

1) Anthony honestly believes in everything that he says. Whereas most people can casually joke about the idea that the government is watching our every move and that if you say the wrong thing, you'll disappear to some remote location, Anthony absolutely cannot. It's both a good thing and a bad thing - he's very wrapped up in his convictions, which can make it hard to change his mind about things.
2) He's never kissed a girl. There are long, detailed stories in which he describes almost kissing a girl, but never quite getting there. Anthony is convinced that he's going to die an alone, unloved political prisoner.

The Sorting Hat almost placed Anthony in Slytherin. Not only that, but he also can't help but agree with some of their ideals - by any means necessary? Why, that sounds like a good tagline for the next great revolution. Ambition and cunning? You know, those might be more handy for taking a government down from the inside than a bloody coup. It's embarrassing because he hates the House on principle.




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