NAME Austin James Thacker.
AGE/BIRTHDAY Eighteen / September 6th, 1979.
HOUSE/YEAR Hufflepuff / Thirteenth.
SOCIAL STATUS Middle class. Not only does Austin’s mother, Mia, work as a nurse practitioner, but the family also receives a monthly compensation check from the Royal Air Force. Still, Hogwarts would not be a feasible option for Austin if he wasn’t on scholarship.
GSCE COURSES English (A), English Literature (A*), Maths (B), Science (C), Psychology (A), Philosophy (A*), Religion Studies (A), Fine Art (B), Modern History (A), History (B).
A-LEVELS English Literature, Philosophy, Psychology.
APPEARANCE Austin has accepted that fate has deemed him the kind of boy that girls would love to hug rather than snog. It’s not that he’s not attractive, it’s just that his features add up to make him more adorable looking than fit. He has a round face complete with dimples and ‘baby fat’ that really isn’t baby fat. It’s just the side effect of his love of chocolates. He isn’t very fond of his chin or nose, but he thinks that his hazel eyes and mischievous grin make up for them. He has also accepted that he will never have the body of Adonis, simply because he’s probably the least athletic person alive. He’s not overweight, but he certainly doesn’t have any amazing pectorals or washboard abs. From the ‘tall, dark, and handsome’ stereotype, he’s got the height down, standing at 5’11”. ‘Dark’ really isn’t going to happen anytime soon either, as Austin doesn’t tan—he just burns. Being fair skinned wouldn’t be too bad if his had the hair to go along with it. His long and messy brown haiwr only succeeds in making him look even more pale. And as for handsome? Well, we’ve already covered that Austin is probably going to be stuck with the title of ‘adorable’ for a few more years.
PLAYED BY Jonathan Groff.
PERSONALITY Austin Thacker is not an easy person to figure out. Although he would consider himself cheerful and optimistic, he isn’t the type of cheerful optimist you’d expect to find in Hufflepuff. He seems like the kind of guy you’d find in Ravenclaw—a philosopher, constantly questioning everything. But Austin is no dark loner, keeping to himself as he wonders if the glass is half empty or half full. Instead, Austin is weirdly upbeat. He also has a pretty eccentric sense of humour. He’s sarcastic 60% of the time, and it’s become hard to tell when he’s being serious about something or not. And usually? He’s not being serious. But for the most part, he’s harmless. He just enjoys messing with some of the more gullible students of Hogwarts. The thing that keeps him from going over to the dark side of philosophizing is that he doesn’t take himself too seriously. Yes, he enjoys pondering over the big questions in life, but there are other things going on in the world. Austin tries not to get too wrapped up in his thinking, lest he turn into some withdrawn, socially awkward loser. He’s content with being a somewhat socially awkward bloke that people at least find funny.
However, Austin does know what he’s talking about most of the time. He’s spent a lot of time observing and people watching, and is capable of offering witty insight every now and then. In fact, giving advice (even when it’s unwanted or unnecessary) is one of his favorite past times. He always has good intentions, but he can come off a little pretentious because a lot of his statements tend to start off with “In my opinion..” He loves to talk about his opinions, thoughts, and feelings on a subject. A long time member of the Debate Club, Austin is known for frequently going off on tangents. He just wants to put his opinion out there, you know? He doesn’t mind listening to other people’s views (he promises not to interrupt too often), but if they don’t agree with him, he won’t hesitate to tell them that he thinks they’re wrong. Then he’ll try to convince them that they should agree with him. Most people have learned that arguing with Austin is a little pointless—he tries to get people to follow his beliefs, although he’s unsure of a few major things himself (ie. religion).
So, if Austin fancies himself as such a big intellectual, what is he doing in Hufflepuff? Why isn’t he over in Ravenclaw? Well, to no one’s surprise, Austin was considered for Ravenclaw. However, Hufflepuff won out. Why? Well, loyalty is one of the most important things to him. He’ll go to great lengths to help out a friend in need (or one he assumes is in need) and expects that his friends would do the same for him. Backstabbing and dishonesty are unforgivable to him, and yes, he does hold a few grudges against people. ‘Hard working’ is something that’s a little bit harder to find in him. He is passionate about the things he’s interested in, and once he starts a task he has to finish it. If possible, he’d like to finish it in one sitting. He’s not the type of person who gets distracted easily, and if he’s working on an essay or working on something music-related, he’ll go hours without eating or sleeping. Austin is okay with being in Hufflepuff—people expect too much from Ravenclaws. In Hufflepuff, it’s a lot easier to break the mould.
DEFINING CHARACTERISTICS While Austin will usually talk to anyone about almost anything, he does not like to talk about himself too often. Getting on the subject of himself will shake him out of his happy-go-lucky mood. He doesn’t like to talk about the death of his father, his lack of wealth (it’s usually an uncomfortable subject to talk about with the abundance of posh kids around), or about his brother’s recent enlistment in the RAF. He’s a very guarded person, with personal walls as high as London Tower. Not to mention, Austin's self-esteem isn't the highest thing ever. But he prefers to keep things bottled up instead of emoing about them, which isn’t very healthy.
LIKES Debating, Aldous Huxley, trying new things, swimming, being outdoors, lounging in his hammock, mixing/mastering music, old school hip hop, psychedelic rock, political satire, flavoured teas, spicy foods, tropical fish, even numbers, chocolates, making lists, A Bit of Fry and Laurie, writing.
DISLIKES Maths and sciences, rules and regulations, sugarfree foods, close-mindedness, people who whinge for no reason, most mainstream music, contact sports, physical confrontations, large crowds, the British Armed Forces, most television programmes.
1. It’s a well-known fact that Austin enjoys audio mixing and mastering. It’s also public knowledge that Austin enjoys old hip hop (ie. A Tribe Called Quest, Slick Rick, Das EFX, the Wu Tang Clan, etc). What isn’t public knowledge is that Austin entertained ideas of going into the hip hop industry for a number of years. Before rap started turning into garbage, it was poetic and philosophical—so Austin spent a lot of time making up his own raps. He’d write the rhymes, mix the beat, but then when it came down to it? Austin just couldn’t rap. He soon realized this, after sending his mother into hysterics after a few attempts. Thus ending his dream.
2. Austin owns a copy of almost everything Aldous Huxley published. Although Point Counter Point and Brave New World are his favorite novels, he considers The Doors of Perception the best thing Huxley ever wrote. He is adamant that he will try at least one ‘psychedelic’ drug in his lifetime, but he’s still a little too scared to try it just yet.
3. Austin suffers from terrible allergies—cats, dogs, ferrets. Finding a pet that wouldn’t send him into sneezing fits was a difficult task for his mother. Finally, she got him a goldfish. Austin was so pleased with his fish that once Chuckles the Goldfish died, she got him a small six gallon aquarium. Since then, he’s moved up to a 50 gallon tank. A saltwater one at that. Because he can’t stand to be parted from a few of his favorites, he keeps a small five gallon tank under his bed. And yes, they all have names and he can remember them all.
4. Austin actually kept a steady girlfriend back home from the summer of his 12th year to this past summer. Although she said it was because of the long-distance relationship, she had another boyfriend within two weeks. He was completely crushed and spent the months before school started back up moping around. He’s never dated anyone at Hogwarts, although he’s had a few flings. He had a brief one with Lisa Turpin earlier in the year.
FAMILY Walter Thacker (father: deceased, former Wing Commander in the RAF), Mia Thacker (mother: 45, nurse practitioner), Harold ‘Hal’ Thacker (brother: 22, Flying Officer in the RAF).
HISTORY The Thackers have always been a military family. Austin’s great-grandfather was in the Navy and fought during World War I. His grandfather and two great uncles were in the Army during the Korean conflict. Austin’s father and uncle, Walter and James, were no exception. The two were members of the ROTC during high school and enlisted in the Air Force soon after they graduated. The family has always been presented with other options—the Thackers are a middle class family from a suburban area, attending a decent university isn’t too much of a stretch for them. And that’s just what they prefer. Walt was always something of a ladies’ man. He was never in one area for too long, and he stayed with the same girl for the same amount of time. It seemed that he was never going to settle down. His older brother had been married for a number of years, and the family was urging to him to start looking for a potential wife. Fortunately for him, he didn’t have to do much work—she asked him out.
At a local coffee house, Mia was sitting with some a few of her classmates from nursing school. In walked Flight Lieutenant Walt Thacker and the rest of his flight. Always attracted to men in uniform, the girls decided that one of them would have to go talk to them. Mia, the one who was the least interested, got picked. She picked one of them randomly and asked him on a date. Walt said yes, and Mia won the dare. She also won a shockingly good date with Walt Thacker and they agreed to go on another. After a year and a half of dating, Walt finally proposed. They were married right after Mia graduated from nursing school, settling down in Brentwood. Well, as close to ‘settling down’ as they could get. Settling is a little difficult for a man who is still on active duty and has to live on a base every few months. The time they did spend together was very happy, made evident by the fact that Mia was pregnant half a year after they’d gotten married. Harold Thacker was born and the Thackers were content to wait a while before having another child. Four more years, to be exact.
Austin James Thacker was born exactly four years, two weeks, and one day after his brother. His early childhood was very happy for the most part. Yes, his parents were both busy with their own careers—Walt was stationed overseas a when he was five and six, and Mia was busy working at the hospital. However, she was not the type who became completely absorbed in her job. They had a babysitter, but Mia always managed to make time for her kids. She never missed any school concerts or sporting events. And when Walt wasn’t deployed, he was totally dedicated to his kids. He taught them both how to play rugby and soccer (Hal excelled, while Austin was never that great). He would tell them both stories about their grandfather and great-grandfather. Hal and Austin loved it, both declaring that they wanted to follow in their father’s footsteps and join the Air Force. But, it was not meant to be. When Austin was eight years old, Walter was killed in a tragic accident at a nearby base.
However, Walt’s death did not tear the family apart. In fact, it only succeeded in making them closer. Hal was now the ‘man’ of the house and managed to evenly divide his time between school, sports, and babysitting his younger brother. The one major change was that Austin was no longer interested in enlisting. In fact, Austin’s opinion on the military did a complete 360. It was one of the few things Austin and Hal argued about—Hal insisted that Austin would have to keep up the family legacy and Austin wanted nothing to do with it. Austin focused more on his studies and earned an academic scholarship to Hogwarts. His family maintained a close relationship while Hal was busy with sports, Mia was busy with work, and Austin was away at school. Or they did until Austin’s 11th year. Hal enlisted in the Royal Air Force and the brothers had a huge falling out. They still keep in touch, but they’re hardly as close as they once were. And they probably won’t be until Austin accepts that his brother is happy in the military—something he can’t even comprehend at this point.