http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/books/2015/06/i_saw_a_man_by_owen_sheers_reviewed.html

When someone we love dies, we often say that we have lost them. It’s a comforting expression, almost hopeful. Lost objects can often be found again, no matter how long they’ve been gone. Simultaneously, however, the phrasing implies a disquieting degree of agency—the dead are not simply misplaced; we have misplaced them. To say that we’ve lost someone, then, is to imply that we are somehow at fault, as if we contributed to their fate.