KIRKHAM SACKED
For the last decade, the Caerphilly Catapults have taken to the pitch with keeper Griffith Kirkham at the helm, but next season that will no longer be the case.

"For nearly a century, the Caerphilly Catapults have been a force to be reckon with," were the first ominous words delivered by Caerphilly spokesman Hamish Thorn at the press conference called on Saturday morning. "We pride ourselves on having strong, loyal players that are both teammates and friends. Last season proved, however, that friendship does not win cups."

Silence overtook the crowd as the final statement was delivered: Griffith Kirkham has been stripped of his Captain status, but will stay on as team Keeper. The new team leader, however, remains a mystery.

"The decision came straight from the owner's box," Caerphilly's representation affirmed following the announcement of Kirkham's demise. "The performance of this franchise is declining and that can't be ignored." Does this mean more shakeups are ahead? "Kirkham was not the only Catapult on that pitch. None of them are safe."