If you're reading this, then clearly you're more bored than I am. The simple facts are:
1. I'm not interesting
2. I'm not a porn star
3. Updating this thing regularly is going to be more effort than it's worth.

I’m procrastinating again. Go figure. I’ve already played seven games of Spider Solitaire, cleared minesweeper three times and I got bored of Sudoku two hours ago. And I’ve tidied my desk.  See, I can be productive if I want to be.

Considering that I’ve got to hand in a script by 9am tomorrow, I’m not being productive in the right direction.

This is supposed to be the easy part; I’ve got the job. I should be able to write a dialogue for this.

It’s sex, it’s not meant to be a Shakespearean monologue or a Greek agon or something. It doesn’t need to be profound. ‘Oh baby oh baby, touch me there. That’s right...’

...God.  I’ll lose all respect for myself if I actually write something like that. This is such a pain in the ass.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful that I’m here and I’ve got a job, but...  did it have to be on a script for a film called ‘Busty the Vampire Layer?’ What do they expect from me? Terrible puns about stakes going into places that they shouldn’t? How do you write an entertaining dialogue when the movie’s tagline is ‘It’s not just Dracula who’s good at sucking?’

Man. I'm going to have to go get another hardcore book out of the library. I'm already getting weird looks from the old lady behind the desk; she thinks I'm a pervert, I just know it.

I'm not by the way. I'm doing research. I'm Shikamaru, and I'm meant to be a writer here for those of you who are still reading and wondering who just wasted these last five minutes of your life.