WHO: Maggie Brand and Adrian Mattias
WHAT: Confrontations?!
WHERE: Caerphilly Pitch!
WHEN: Before the game today!



The laces of her cleats were strung up so tightly that her toes began to sting, and the inside of her cheek felt like it was bleeding after she’d bitten down on it so hard. Maggie’s narrowed eyes scanned over the current roster posted outside the opponents’ locker room, and as she tightened the tape around her wrists she wondered whether or not she should listen to the pounding in her chest or the screaming in her head.

But then she remembered: she was a Gryffindor, when did she ever use her head?

It didn’t take long for a Catapult to come out of their locker room, and she was lucky enough for it to be Rose Knightley who was easily scared and intimidated. Maggie demanded to know where Adrian Mattias was, and in a quivering instant Knightley managed to sputter out that he was in the clubhouse, ‘sick.’

Sick. Sick! What a bloody---Maggie stormed toward the opposing team’s clubhouse, a place where the players could escape the tension of the locker room and listen to the ongoing match as the announcers’ voices bounced off the walls. It was not a place for the fiance who had left her at the altar. His place was on his broomstick, and if he were able to play last week, then he sure as hell could get his ass in the air now.

Maggie pushed the door open and stepped in quickly, her hands going back to the tape as she glared down Adrian, who was on the other side of the room. Her chest constricted the slightest bit but she kept her mouth pressed tightly,

“You don’t look very sick,” she said, her voice terse.

Adrian’s eyes grew wide at the sight of Maggie, and he quickly sought to bury his surprised expression in his hands. Someone had ratted him out. Or she had just put two and two together. Either way it had created the confrontation he had tried to avoid. Pushing his palms into his face, Adrian vainly attempted to prepare any kind of formed sentences to possibly respond back to her, but his brain continued to lag as it had been for the past two weeks, and came up with nothing fast.

What could he say to her? There was nothing, and it pained him to acknowledge that his tongue felt swollen and stuck in his mouth at the mere thought of talking to her. Why did she even want to talk to him? After leaving her there... in the church... at the time, and now, it felt like the only thing he could have done, but that still didn’t change his utmost regret of how this had all come to be.

Taking a shaky breath, Adrian dropped his hands from his head. She was upset. He knew she would be. He also knew he could only prolong the inevitable, hiding half slumped against the wall in this isolated room, for so long until karma caught up with him. Deciding it wouldn’t be very right to her for him to stay like this, Adrian moved off the wall to rest his elbows on his knees, his hands falling between his legs to the bench in front of him.

“Just because I don’t look it doesn’t mean I don’t feel well,” Adrian mustered finally, thoroughly surprised at how normal sounding that came out. Calm, even. He didn’t feel calm. He actually didn’t feel much of anything at all, but it was good to know he was getting better at sounding alive on the inside.

She scoffed, unable to look him in the eye, or to stop her heart from skipping a beat at his voice, or keep her chest from feeling like it was being crushed with guilt. She had managed to calm her inner thoughts somewhat since the non-wedding, but it had been difficult. After Adrian had left, she’d taken Josef, in her wedding dress, to her parents’ house in Holyhead. Maggie had always hated staying there because it was so remote, which was why she knew no one would bother to look for her there. It had been a long first week, but it gave her time to think and accept. Maybe it wasn’t that she was mad at Adrian right now, but she was feeling a lot of things towards the man she was supposed to marry and it was hard to express how she really felt.

Okay, she was more than a little mad. Maggie knew that it was her fault for keeping the secret about Josef (who had been very kind and attentive to her these past two weeks), but the idea that Adrian could walk out on her on such an important day could not be justified. He could have--he could have done so many different things. He could have sat and talked to her, he could have yelled at her, he could have locked them in the room and not moved until he had every last detail, he could have not left her.

Her pony tail swished as she turned away, unwilling (maybe unable) to fight with him about playing. Why had she come in here? Maggie knew that some part of her had been anxious but glad to be able to see him for the first time since the disaster, but now she didn’t know what she was thinking. He’d taken himself out of the game to avoid seeing her, so why should she feel any different?

“Right, well,” Maggie struggled for something more intimidating to say, but there was nothing. She didn’t want to fight but she didn’t want to forgive. She shook her head, pissed at herself for letting her eyes water with frustration, “Hope you feel better--the Kestrels are flying away with the league cup and---no one wants to see that.”

How miserable was it that all she could think to talk about with the man she had wanted to spend the rest of her life with was quidditch? Maggie bit her tongue and turned toward the door, shaking her head in disgust.

That was it? Adrian blinked, in wonder of how he had escaped effectively unscathed from this first re-meeting. He had been expecting--- Adrian shook his head, redirecting his gaze back to the ground again. Right. She had some pre-game rituals to attend to. He of all people knew that. Or other Tornadoe things to get done before the match started. And why would she want to waste her time with him anyway? He wouldn’t even want to waste time with him. It only made sense. She had only come to....to.... why had she come?

But he had jerked his head back toward her direction too late, and Maggie had already turned away. Oh. Dejected, he buried his face in his hands again, truly not wanting to see her walk way from him. He wanted her to stay, Adrian wanted nothing more for Maggie to stay, but he couldn’t muster up the energy to stop her. Everything he wanted to say to her stayed buried deep within his stomach, too heavy to take flight. Any conversation they had would just upset her more.... and he didn’t want that. So he would continue to bury his unyielding emotions for her, his desire to ask about Josef and just continue on until the pain of her betrayal, and his mistake, died away.

Adrian rubbed his hands fiercely against his face, like trying to scrub away of a nasty, lingering thought.

She should leave, she should leave, she should leave. Maggie stood in front of the door as if it was going to magically open itself and let her out, but it didn’t budge. She didn’t move. Her heart was beating ten times faster than it had been just moments before and he hadn’t said a bloody word. He hadn’t said anything! He just sat there and---he just sat there!

“How could you just let me walk away?!” she shouted, locking the clubhouse door before spinning around to face him. Maggie stalked further into the room, fists clenched and shaking. She felt like her entire body was ready to burst with all these feelings coursing through her and she wanted to hit him to get them out. Maggie let out furious breaths through her nose, “You just---you can’t let me leave! I shouldn’t have let you---but you can’t let me---”

Maggie shut her mouth, realizing she was starting not to make any sense. She crossed and uncrossed her arms, unable to find a comfortable or at least intimidating stance. She just--she wanted to hit him, she wanted to throw large, heavy objects at him. She wanted him to fly in this match so that West and Martin could launch metal bludgers at his head and knock him unconscious for a week and a half and how, at the same time as the rest of these feelings were surging through her, did she also not want any of that at all? She wanted to hug him and cry and apologize for everything she’d done and beg him to take her back, but it was just so confusing.

The secret she had kept from him had been terrible, she’d known that for a long time. Maggie knew that it had started out as embarrassment on her part, but keeping Adrian out of the loop had later been done for his protection so she justified it...but understood. It was so hard to understand. She accepted what he’d done but she couldn’t forgive how he’d done it. There were so many different ways that morning could have turned out and it manged to find the worst possible scenario. Maggie put her hands to her face, trying to catch her breath and hold back her tears.

“You promised me that you’d never---and---” Maggie looked up at the ceiling, shaking her head in disbelief. He’d even said it when he proposed, he couldn’t believe that anyone could let her go and he was letting her walk away, he’d walked away, “I fucked up, I did but---it---” She threw her hands up; crying wasn’t going to do anything but make her feel stupid. Maggie let out a frustrated sound and turned back around to leave again, knowing that it had been a really bad decision to come down to find him.

Adrian hadn’t even realized Maggie was still there until her shrill shouts filled the room. His body shook to life at the sound of door locking, the click reverberating in his ears like a deadbolt latching. The vague thought that she might maim him in the next few minutes was unrealistically high, but that realization did not bother him enough to react. He watched with a weary and intrigued eye, almost confused as to what was going on. Why would she want to even look at him?

And then, Adrian froze. What was she doing--- he couldn’t say anything to her--- it was too soon--- he sat soundly still as Maggie approached him, doing a rather good impression of absolutely terrifying. His mouth gaped as she yelled, and in the process he felt his heart speed up. He could--- maybe--- the more his spirits began to pick up, the more paralyzed he began to feel. He wanted--- Adrian wanted to move, to go to her, to calm that upset face the best way he knew how, but--- but. It felt like he didn’t know her. And it felt like he didn’t know himself.

But he did know her, didn’t he? He did. This was his Maggie, his wonderful, beautiful Maggie that he knew he would love the rest of his life, and wanted nothing more than to start a family with, to be a family with. She completed him, made him feel like England was a home and not a place where the word family confused him. Adrian absentmindedly rubbed the side of his face where Geoff had taken out a couple his frustrations a few days ago. It didn’t make sense how they had gotten here. And it hurt, it pained him so much---

She had done something wrong, but he had too. He shouldn’t have left her there at the ceremony that morning, he should have stayed and made everyone else leave, he knew that now. He also knew that his choice to go would always be the greatest mistake of his life, regardless of the outcome from it. But now, now was the time--- he would----

“I’m sorry!” Adrian suddenly pipped miserably, her back to him. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry--- I’m sorry---” his mouth began to run, the same two words playing again and again until they abruptly stopped. In a sweeping moment he stood up from his seat, but didn’t move further than that. In a much lower tone he spoke again, his gaze as always only on her. “I shouldn’t have left you. It was wrong--- I was wrong to.” And there was one more thing, one thing she needed to know if this was the last time they would be alone together. “Nothing could ever change how I feel about you. I just--- want you to know that.”

She felt---she felt like he’d somehow wrapped his words around her heart and forced it to stop beating, she felt like---Maggie’s shoulders scrunched as Adrian called out, his words piercing her swirling thoughts and freezing them. Sorry, he was sorry, and Maggie wanted to turn around and leap into his arms and accept his apology. It could be that easy, it should be that easy, but they’d both made such terrible mistakes that she wasn’t sure if it was allowed to be. What if...what if he was sorry, but he couldn’t forgive her for what she’d done? What if she accepted his apology but it changed nothing? Would that make her feel better? Would that give them a better chance?

Maggie turned to face him halfway through Adrian’s ramble. She blanched at how devastated he looked, and to know that she had caused him that sort of pain broke her heart into even smaller pieces. She felt like one of those damsels on the wireless soaps, where everything was so incredibly tragic that they didn’t know how they would live after it all. Maggie could finally understand the devastation, and she wanted to believe she was strong enough to get through this, this--whatever this was.

Were they together? Were they broken up? Did he still want to marry her? Maggie didn’t know how they could even dare try to have another wedding after the fiasco that was January 8th, but she’d never wanted to be someone’s wife until Adrian. He’d made her think that having a family and being with someone was something good and lovely. She wanted to have more kids, she wanted to never question that she could wake up beside him and it would be where she’s supposed to be. Maggie hated that she could have potentially ruined all that she had grown to love because of him.

Every bit of her felt like it was shaking with the tears she was holding back. Maggie clenched her fist, managing to tear her eyes away from Adrian and hoping it would give her the strength to attempt to do or say something that could fix this.

“I’m sorry too,” she croaked, knowing she’d said it before but he had to hear it again, “It was unfair of me to keep things from you,” It was hard to resist trying to explain herself, but Maggie knew that she couldn’t give up excuses if she wanted him to forgive her, “And---I wish I’d been...” Her lips twisted as she tried to maintain her composer, “I’d been braver and smarter and---you don’t deserve to be treated the way I treated you.”

Maggie nearly gasped at her own words; had she just placed her own nails into the coffin of their relationship?

What was she saying? Adrian felt all his impromptu ideas come to a sputtering halt with her words. What did that mean? That she... he suddenly felt confused, and all the energy that had just filled him seemed to deflate. He had been--- he had been hoping that his words, one-hundred percent true, would sway her to a place where--- well he wasn’t really sure where, but somewhere where in the possibility that he wouldn’t feel like this for the rest of his life. And they might have a chance. Did she not feel the same way? Had he hurt her beyond repair?

Feeling despondent, Adrian broke his gaze to look down at the ground. “Oh,” he soberly spoke, feeling his previous courage begin to die. If that... was what she wanted, then who was he to object? The damage of being jilted could very much be irreversible, and for that act, he would have to deal with the consequences for the rest of his life. He understood that.

Standing suddenly became a lot more difficult, his body feeling heavy and slow. But Adrian remained as he was, as it felt like making the effort to move was a much more colossal weight to force. What else could he say? It appeared that Maggie had made her decision...

He needed to hear it. He needed to hear her say it. That would.... maybe help. If he dared to be that selfish. Swallowing, it took a few moments for him to produce his next words. “What are you saying?” Adrian’s voice came out thick, his mind unable to think of any other way to put it.

Did he agree? Merlin, he agreed. He believed that he didn’t deserve to be treated like this and that he didn’t have to be, not anymore. He was going to make her say it, and after she did Maggie was going to go out to the pitch and consciously let a bludger knock her head off. Maggie would rather endure that physical pain than the one Adrian was forcing upon her now. She got it, she knew she had hurt him too badly and she had to pay for her mistakes. Adrian did deserve better than her, he deserved someone who wasn’t selfish and insecure, someone who made the right decision when it involved the important people in her life at the appropriate time.

Maggie wrung her hands, feeling her posture grow timid and weak as she tried to build up the courage to say what he wanted to hear. Her eyes couldn’t stay on his face because it hurt too badly, and she finally just looked at the ground, causing some tears to spill from her eyes.

“I’m saying...” she choked out, taking in shaky breaths, “you don’t deserve to be treated like how I treated you. That...I understand if--if you don’t want to be with me anymore because of--what I did and...if you don’t want to deal with all of---my mess that I...I don’t hate you for it because---because I understand,” Maggie’s arms went to her stomach to hug herself, feeling nauseous and unable to control her tears. She was finally owning up to her mistakes, being the adult she should’ve tried to be two years ago, and it hurt like hell.

Such a heaviness filled Adrian that he had no choice but to fall back down to his seat. His teeth bit down on the insides of his cheeks, a generally lost feeling taking over him. She didn’t--- it sounded--- he wanted nothing more than to forget this, forget all of this had ever happened and go back to the way things were before. It didn’t--- he didn’t want to care about everything she hadn’t told him, he didn’t want it to bother him---

---- but it did. It did bother him. And not because of what it was, but because it felt like he had been blundering around like an idiot, the only one with no idea about what was really going on... if she had just told him about Braith Selwyn, he could have--- it wouldn’t even be an issue! They would have dealt with it together. But how--- how was that possible now? It felt like she hadn’t trusted him, purposely kept the truth when all along he thought the opposite. It didn’t sit well, and it made him feel... not right.

He loved her so much, it felt--- unbearable to even be thinking about this. How could he--- they weren’t supposed to be like this, it wasn’t supposed to be like this. With every passing second Adrian felt his energy, and therefore his voice, begin to fade.

Staring at her with a glazed over expression, Adrian struggled to find within him a response. His jaw dropped in anticipation for words to come out, but they didn’t. How could he convey that all he just wanted was her and Josef back? His family, he wanted their family back--- but--- but--- again, it was as if his words came pouring out of his mouth on their own accord.

“I love you,” his words came out heavy, “but I need to--- get back to normal. Time to--- start over, or apart or--- something. To refigure, adjust---” Adrian stopped himself, annoyed with himself to beating around the bust. He knew what he wanted to say, he just didn’t want to say it. “I mean--- I do want to... be with you, I just--- can’t, right now.”

Hearing Adrian actually say it instead of assuming what he felt caused Maggie to straighten up. She didn’t mean to look shocked because she had convinced herself it was the truth, but it couldn’t be helped as what was supposed to be the relationship that lasted the rest of her life was coming to an end. A halt? No, an end. Adrian couldn’t be with her right now, and even if he said that he wanted to be, who knew if they’d actually get there? She’d hurt him, she’d been the one to bring this all onto them so she didn’t get to be optimistic about how things might change.

She nodded, biting her tongue because there wasn’t anything else to say. She couldn’t fight to be with him if he didn’t want to be with her right now. It would hurt the both of them more and ruin things even further. Maggie had to grab hold of the bottom of her jersey to keep from instinctively reaching out to say goodbye to Adrian, but instead forced herself to simply nod and turn away. She couldn’t get out of there fast enough, unlocking the door and shooting by the Catapults that had started to linger by, undoubtedly trying to listen into the conversation through the door.

Maggie made the quick turn toward the opposing team’s locker room, but instead of continuing on she ducked into one of the numerous entrances of the pitch. The darkness of the tunnel and the crowd roaring at the pre-game excitement could block out her cries for the few minutes she could have before she had to get on the pitch and fly like her world hadn’t just crumbled around her.