L I L Y [ potter ] (missusprongs) wrote in valesco,
@ 2008-06-10 21:41:00

Entry tags:

[ Liz! ]
Lily Potter hated Alice Longbottom. What she hated even more was being locked up in a house. So when you took a situation in which she was locked up in a house because of Alice Longbottom, you got a rather angry redhead. She had been driving James and the rest of the Order insane, she was pretty sure, which was the only reason now for which she was being let out of said house for ten minutes---which was fine with her, because even though she had been given specific instructions to Apparate directly to her Liverpool home and a whole lecture beforehand on what to do in case of attack (honestly, it was like she wasn't Lily Potter), she was not in the Order house, and that was something. Which, being in the Order house didn't bother her normally, it was just that she knew that she couldn't leave, and they had no leads on where Alice was so she didn't know when she would be able to leave--if ever, oh dear God she'd die there--and because she'd be somewhere else if Alice weren't such an idiot and---

Okay, no, Order house was better than Death Eaters, but. For pity's sake, the woman was still an idiot!

Anyway, Lily had been let out of the Order house for a few minutes, which was all that really mattered right now. After sitting around for a good hour trying to think up excuses to leave, she had come up with the brilliant realization that if she and James were going to be living there for a while, they'd need clothes and other things like that and even though it'd taken another hour of begging to be let go, she was there, pulling out the key to the front door and---

---what the hell was that in her window? Was that a face?

Abandoning the lock for a second and feeling her heart begin to race just a bit--they had realized that Alice wasn't her and they were here oh no oh no--Lily inched towards their front window and---

"WHAT THE HELL, LIZ!"

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ringmybell
2008-06-11 05:02 am UTC (link)

Elizabeth Anne Fortescue was not an idiot. She was far from and idiot, and will smack you upside the head if you even hinted at thinking that she might be an idiot. No, she was actually quite smart; somewhat flaky, but very smart, and it didn't take a bloody genius to figure out that Lily and Alice and Marlie were up to something again. Again, because the entire time Sirius was missing, those three were avoiding her eyes and making up excuses and just being secretive. And then Sirius told her that there were things they didn't want to say and then Frank talked to her and then James glared at her and it was just weird, okay?

And now--well. Now she wasn't the size of a blimp, so now Lily had no excuse.

Being the awfully good friend she was, Liz did not storm over to the Potters' residence and barge in demanding an explanation. Nope, no, she simply knocked rather hard and repeatedly on their door, rang their doorbell annoyingly a few times, and when no one answered, then she simply pulled out the spare key they'd given her (okay, maybe the one she'd demanded, because they were friends like that) and come on in.

Well. Apparently they weren't home. She thought maybe she'd try and interrupt one of their famous Potters-throes-of-passion, but sadly the house was empty save for the Potter Pets.

Liz had huffed greatly and stomped into the kitchen, Wilbur hot on her tails. She dug around the pantry for a bit, figuring that she might as well eat some of James' food to annoy him if she didn't get to ream either of them out, when she heard the jingling of keys. She dropped her clean plate into the sink and hurried over to the front door, plastering her face to the window beside it to stare/glare/squish an annoyed expression at Lily through the glass.

Aha! Now she had her.

Liz peeled her face from the glass and swung open the door for Lily, looking expectant. "Well hello Ms. Tied-Up-With-Stuff."

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missusprongs
2008-06-11 07:05 am UTC (link)

Okay, her best friend was so weird. Like, Lily knew she'd given Liz a key to the house but still, who just walked in and waited for you and pressed their face against the glass of the door all weird and watched you and---okay that didn't matter right now, because Lily had just realized that she was in shit. Deep, deep shit.

Stepping in through the front door a little quicker than she usually would (it was just Liz, but she still couldn't help but feel a little shaken up), Lily closed it quickly behind her and sent a sheepish look at her best friend. She wasn't trying to be sheepish--actually she was going for annoyed--but see, she had no idea what to do and she was pretty sure Liz was going to walk away from this wanting to murder her. Or just, you know, not friends with her anymore, because even if she did tell her the truth and not some half-assed lie, well... not everyone liked the truth so much. Sirius' girlfriend--or booty call, whatever she had been--for example, and while Lily really didn't want Liz to react like that, she couldn't really help it if---

Okay, Lily, focus. She was freaking out and she hadn't even tried the half-assed lie option yet; which was going to piss Liz off for sure, but maybe she'd believe it, right?

One look at the other woman's face made Lily think not, but she had to try. Offering up a small smile, she stepped past Liz and began to head upstairs towards the bedroom. "I'm only here for a few minutes," she said. Well, that was true at least. She opened her mouth again, ready to spout an excuse, before realizing that she didn't know what to say---what could explain her coming home to get she and James' things? She closed her mouth again and thanked Merlin that she was turned away from Liz, before continuing up the stairs.

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ringmybell
2008-06-11 08:14 am UTC (link)

When the hell had they become such casual acquaintances? Because that's what it really felt like. After seven years of being roommates and not holding anything back, Liz suddenly felt like she was simply someone who'd been in Lily's class, who might've borrowed notes sometime. She stood by the door for a moment, contemplating what this wave of nausea inducing thoughts. Because that's what it was; Liz felt like throwing up at the idea that Lily didn't want to be friends with her.

She knew she was a fuck up, but things weren't bad, right? Lily had seemed so very supportive during the whole pregnancy, and she was getting married so like---that couldn't be the reason, right? Lily was just...busy.

With her lack of a job.

Liz followed her friend up the stairs, idly wondering if she had the nerve to confront Lily now, especially with all the ideas she'd just put into her own head. If she really wanted to salvage this friendship, than she needed to at least confront Lily about all the stories and excuses.

What she couldn't figure out though was why she was suddenly thinking that all of this was about her, but it was better than thinking that Lily and James and Sirius and Marlie were...well...what? What could she think about them? She knew that they all had some sort of secret, because they always seemed to know what was going on, but Liz couldn't come up with something that made sense, and it was just easier to say that she was being paranoid, and that Lily really just wanted to end her friendship and was just too nice to be like 'bitch stay away from me.'

"Look," Liz started when they reached the bedroom. She stayed in the door frame, "I don't know what the hell you lot are hiding from me, but--if you're so keen on doing it and keeping me from being involved, then...then I'll leave you alone, I won't bother you," ever, "anymore, okay? It just-it sucks, okay, there, that's as bluntly as I can put it---it sucks that I don't know what the hell is going on half of the time and you and James seem to have these...these secret glances and looks, and Sirius is all weird and Alice is weird and Frank is weird an..."

Liz put her hands up, defeated, "I'm the only one that doesn't know anything, and that fucking sucks, Lily. So just tell me if you don't want me to bother you anymore, because I can't deal with this."

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missusprongs
2008-06-11 09:13 am UTC (link)

Lily opened the closet and began to pull a few of her shirts and jeans off their hangers, then turned around and bent over to gather several of James' from their normal place on the floor. She was listening to Liz the whole time--probably far more intently than it looked like she was--and her teeth worried hard on her bottom lip as she realized that this was getting far out of hand very quickly. She felt guilty, most of all, the more her friend said because---well, she hated to admit it, but to be honest Lily hadn't been thinking much about Liz's feelings at all before now. Which was extremely selfish and stupid, but she guessed she'd been so worried about hiding the secret of the Order that she really didn't think about what her excuses and avoidance must sound like to the person hearing them.

Merlin's beard, maybe Liz would be better off without a friend like that.

Heaving a deep sigh, Lily put down the clothes on the bed and looked at her friend, hesitance written all over her face. How could she not hesitate a little? Liz was her best friend, and she was going to tell her--she'd decided that pretty quickly into Liz's speech--but it was the Order. It was the biggest and most important secret that she had, and it wasn't just risky to them to tell her, but what about to Liz herself? She was in enough danger already just being friends with all of them. Putting her in the know on all of this would just throw in so much other unnecessary risk, and Lily wondered if she felt more guilty about having not told her for this long, or about telling her when she was a new mother and about to get married.

This all sucked. It really just fucking sucked.

Lily ran her hands through her hair and came out shaking her head, groaning in disbelief---at herself and what she was about to do more than what Liz was saying. "Come on, Liz, it's not like that. How long have we been best friends?" she sat down on the bed and nodded to the other woman to sit down as well. "I'm really sorry that we've--that I've--made it seem like that's the case, but I swear, we---"

She stopped for a minute and shook her head. This was so fucking hard to find the words to explain, to let things on easily. "You're right, that there's a secret that you haven't been in on. That James and Marlie and Alice and Frank and Sirius and Remus and Peter and---you're right, okay, we've been hiding something." Liz was still standing up, and so Lily grabbed the other woman's hand and pulled her down beside her. "Seriously, if you want me to tell you what it is, you're going to have to sit down. Because honestly, they're probably going to go beserk if I don't show up again in fifteen and that doesn't leave much time to recussitate you."

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ringmybell
2008-06-11 05:31 pm UTC (link)

Holy shit, she really had been hoping she was wrong about this secret thing. Liz let Lily tug her down, admittedly having been stunned into a frozen stupor at the idea that she wasn't being paranoid, that she wasn't being ridiculous in thinking that her friends were all involved in something that was going to make her want to scream.

Oh--crap.

She sat dumbly beside her friend, eyes as wide as quaffles. Liz was not going to bother trying to hide her concern or surprise; why would everyone be mad at Lily for not...showing up...somewhere? Where were all they? They had a meeting place? They were all at this meeting place, where Lily had to be back at soon, or else they'd all be mad at her. Well--she would be mad at her if she went back--well, no, but--it...

It was just not making any sense, and Liz shut her gaping mouth into a tight line, ready to hold her breath for something that seemed to be far more serious than her imagination had concocted. She didn't let go of Lily's hand, though, and was immediately reminded of when she'd finally spilled her secret about Evan and--everything. If Lily could sit with her through that, then--she could do it too. Hopefully.

Because if they were dealing with aliens or some crazy shit like that, she was totally going to freak out.

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missusprongs
2008-06-11 06:34 pm UTC (link)

Normally it'd be a bad thing to have Liz looked so worried, but with the kind of news that Lily had to deliver, she was actually pretty thankful. Maybe if she was already in the state of mind that this was something big, then when she crushed that notion and dropped an absolute bombshell on her, she wouldn't fall over and die.

Maybe.

She took a deep breath. Well, she might as well just say it and get it out, before she chickened out--and before she wasted too much time and didn't have any time left to explain and one of the Order members was breaking down her front door and---right, the Order. Focus. "Okay, so... Do you remember around this time last year, when we were still in school?" Best to start at the beginning, she supposed, and ease her into it a little--as opposed to just 'hey, well I've been fighting Death Eaters and that's why I can't plan for your wedding!' "After James came back from France, we decided that something had to be done. Something... forceful."

Lily gave her friend a pointed look and wondered if that had been enough to give her an idea. "So we went to Dumbledore. And we found out that he had already been thinking of the same thing--he had a list, even, with names of people. People like James and I, and Frank and Alice, Remus, Sirius, Marlene... We're called the Order of the Phoenix."

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ringmybell
2008-06-11 09:51 pm UTC (link)

"What the hell, you're like---secret crime fighters?"

Liz couldn't help herself as she blurted out her first thoughts, and her expression flashed from confusion to shock to worry to something along the lines of enlightenment. It made sense, if she thought back to all of the times she'd grown annoyed about their secrets. With Sirius, everyone had been acting as if they knew something, but how could they have known anything if they weren't out acting like spies and double agents and...and...

That was ridiculous. They weren't aurors or anything--well, the Longbottoms were, but--Dumbledore had started this? Dumbledore had asked all of them to do this with him, so he had to think that they were capable of...of fighting death eaters. Making a change, doing something to stop this war and all that was going wrong with the world and---

---and she hadn't been on the list. Liz's heart dropped and sunk deep into her chest, eyes welling up at the idea, but her free hand went to her eyes as she shook her head in amazement; it was no time for a pity-party. Her friends were out there trying to do something for the greater good, they were trying to make this world a better place for their future, for their children, oy, for Katie---she shouldn't be jealous, she should be proud. Proud and terrified, but proud nonetheless--

"S--see--" Liz stuttered, getting far more choked up than she had intended to, and she forced a smile but that only made some tears leak out onto her cheeks, "Th--that was---easy."

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missusprongs
2008-06-11 10:52 pm UTC (link)

At Liz's first reaction, Lily had to admit that she was worried. But then again, it had always been like Liz to speak her mind right off the bat, and ten seconds later she was---shit, she was crying, and Lily's heart wrenched a little. She wasn't blind to what she was doing, of course. Just because she didn't have anyone outside of the Order before now that was there to care about and be worried for her, she did have an imagination, and she knew if the positions were switched she'd probably be shaking Liz and telling her to quit right away. And she really hoped that Liz wasn't crying because of that, but Lily figured she probably was, at least a little and that killed her. It killed her even when James worried--which was very easily covered up in annoyance--and he was in the same sort of dangers she was, so now that it was someone who hadn't been involved at all, shouldn't have been involved--

"Hey, don't---come on, Liz," she sighed, pulling the other woman into her arms and squeezing her into a tight hug. It was such a weird feeling, because despite how upsetting it was to see her best friend cry over it, Lily felt so good to have finally been able to tell her about this. It was so bloody hard hiding everything from the person that she normally told everything. Now she knew she still couldn't reveal every little detail or else she'd just be putting Liz (and Katie and Ian, Jesus) into more danger than she already was, but she didn't have to hide it from her and that was wonderful to experience again. She could be honest with her best friend for the first time in over a year.

She ran her hand across Liz's back a few times, but didn't let go--she didn't want to--and spoke into her shoulder. "I'll be able to explain it all to you later, but right now I've got to---" Now she pulled back so that they were looking eye-to-eye, but kept her hands on Liz's shoulders. "Liz, they've got Alice. The Death Eaters, and. And we don't know where she is, and we're all at the house--it's like our headquarters--and trying to figure out what happened. But I can't stay here long, because they were after me, and they might still think they've got me, and they know our home---which is a long story and I'll explain later, but it's not safe here, and that's why I've got to leave quickly but that's why we can't help you plan." She took a deep breath paused to let that all sink in before continuing. "I'm so sorry, Liz."

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ringmybell
2008-06-11 11:23 pm UTC (link)

"They have---they---oh, fuck and I yelled at her and---"

Liz nodded furiously at Lily, feeling completely lost and out of place, but knowing that she wasn't going to feel like that again. When her friends were acting secretive and weird, she was going to know that something was up with the death eaters and--maybe that they were going to--do...do whatever, they were going to do whatever it takes to do..whatever! They were going to do it and they were going to win and they were going to be amazing and--and--

She stood up with Lily, gripping at her friend's elbows because quite suddenly Liz felt like she was shipping Lily off to war. She had no idea whatsoever what they were going to do to find Alice, she couldn't fathom what the death eaters were going to do to Alice, but she was not going to just let Lily run off into the ruckus without letting her know what was on her mind.

"Okay, you--you go, but promise me, promise me, Lily, that if you ever think I could help, and---" She closed her eyes tightly trying to be stern, "and don't give me any bullshit about having a family and a baby and all that, all of you are doing the same thing and are just as important---if there is any way I can help, you tell me and I will do it, okay? Promise me that."

Her eyes shot open, and Liz was sure she'd never been so serious about something in her life.

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missusprongs
2008-06-13 02:35 am UTC (link)

As Liz looked at her, being so deathly serious, Lily couldn't help but let a little giggle escape her lips. She was talking to her like someone was dying and---actually, Alice could be dying for all they knew (Merlin Merlin she couldn't think like that)---but for some reason it was still absolutely hilarious to Lily. She twisted her face a little to try and stop the laughter, but it was hopeless and she just hoped that Liz didn't smack her or something.

"I will, Liz, I will," she said, smirking. Which was a total lie, because there was no way in hell she was going to have Liz and Ian and Katie's names connected to an underground anti-Voldemort organization, but she could at least say that she would. There would be no use arguing with Liz on it anyway, she being as stubborn as Lily was herself, so she might as well make her think that she was obliging. "I promise if we need anything, you'll be the first one we call."

Leaning forward, she then wrapped her arms around the other woman, quite snugly and suddenly, and squeezed her once before letting go and stepping back. "I've got to get going," Lily said, her laughter gone now. In its place was only a bittersweet smile.

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