Do you have a remarkable phobia? Does your phobia have a large impact on your life? 

I would say I have a lot of little fears...but only one real phobia.  This phobia is called glossophobia, the fear of public speaking.  It's a type of social phobia or Social Anxiety Disorder.  Physical symptoms often accompanying social anxiety disorder include excessive blushing, sweating (hyperhidrosis), trembling, palpitations, nausea, and stammering. Panic attacks may also occur under intense fear and discomfort.  I would say that yes, this had largely impacted my life in a lot of ways.  I've always been shy, but speaking infront of people is horrible.  I have all of those symptoms when I have to speak.  I think it's a good and bad thing to make public speaking mandatory.  Good because it forces you to speak, so maybe you might get over it.  Bad because they grade you on something that barely anyone is good at.  Sure make me speak, but don't grade me on something that is almost physically impossible for me.  One thing I'm not happy about is that I have to do a lot of public speaking for my senior project.  Ugh I just hate it.  When I had to do my U.S. History speech, I was nervous all day, I didn't eat lunch, and I had a sick feeling all day.  It was horrible...really.  

I'm trying to over come this fear by trying out for the spring musical.  Every single part has a solo, but I really want to do it.  I was first thinking the bakers wife, but I think I'm getting too ambitious.  So I'm thinking maybe Lucinda or Florinda.  I'm trying to research the other female characters (Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Jacks mom, and cinderellas step-mom), but there is nothing about these anywhere on the internet.  I just want to know specifically line count, how big the solo is stuff like that.  I don't mind much about range, because I can sing anything.  I just don't want something big, I don't want to choke on opening night.

Do you believe in ghosts? If so, have you ever seen one?
I believe in them yes, but I've never seen one.  It's quite easy to let you mind get out of hand, and it can happen very quickly.


So prom was amazing!!!  It was so much fun, and I finally came out of my shell a little bit and I danced.  So yeah.  I've never danced in public before without it being choreographed and something like ballet.  But yeah, and then after prom was sooo much fun.  There was tons of food and we got to bowl for free.  There were door prizes (which I got a huge bottle of conditioner...)  And then there was a drawing where all of the juniors and seniors get called, but one at a time, and we get to pick prizes from the table.  I got a new straightener that goes up to 400 degrees, 2 bottles of hair spray, and shampoo and conditioner.  So that was fun.  I didn't get home until like 4:30.  I still super tired!

This week is dance try-outs, and next week is guard try-outs.  I'm super nervous about my presentation on Monday...I haven't even started making my speech, and I haven't even started making my tri-fold.  AH, and I'm absolutely terrified of public speaking.

I just found out today that Mr. Pokorney won't let me do the website for my senior project...what an ass.  I was so pissed.  Now I have to find something else to do for my senior project.  Maybe I can still come up with a website idea.  Maybe something like a fine arts page...?  I dunno.  I'll talk to Mrs. Ulrick, Mr. Pallada, Mrs. Loehrke, and Mr. Pallada.  They might like this idea.