mycardigan (mycardigan) wrote in 1978,
@ 2012-07-27 22:48:00

If Rabastan was willing to come out and be disowned by his parents for the sake of their relationship, Remus felt like he had to be able to come out to his friends. James and Peter knew something was wrong. He and Sirius were hardly talking these days. Remus thought Sirius and Lily were being increasingly less careful about their relationship, and things were... Well, he figured Sirius should be around for when he told James and Peter, just so he didn't think Remus wanted their fight to continue. He'd had Peter lie to Sirius to get him to come.

Remus stood in front of his friends, sat on a row on James's bed, and cleared his throat. "I have something to tell you that I probably should have told you a while ago," he said. "You're my best friends. Even if we're fighting, Sirius, and I... want you to hear from me that I'm gay before you hear a rumour from someone else, because I'm dating Rabastan Lestrange and he needs someone to support him in front of the rest of the school right now."

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mycardigan
2012-07-28 04:29 am UTC (link)

"I didn't..." Remus hesitated, running a hand through his hair. The glare made him stop short. "I didn't want to cause problems between you and Sirius. And then I got mad and... I'm sorry, James. You didn't deserve to hear it like that."

"Yeah, but..." Peter eyed Sirius for a moment. Maybe it was because he was good looking. Why did looks make everyone get over all their hang ups? He shifted uncomfortably. "Sorry. That Remus told on you."

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	padfooted 2012-07-28 04:32 am UTC (link)
	"You're right. I didn't." James looked at Remus, wiping at his eyes. "And what's so wrong with me? Why doesn't anyone want me? You don't want me either. You're with Sirius and Rabastan and..." He shook his head. "I suppose I had it coming." Sirius sighed softly and sat back on the bed. "He'd have to find out sooner or later. She and I are getting kind of serious." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

mycardigan
2012-07-28 04:40 am UTC (link)

"I --" Remus blinked at James. "You're... not gay," he said. "Right? Either way, there's nothing wrong with you, James. I always thought you liked Lily because she wouldn't give you the time of day. There are plenty of girls -- and boys -- who want you. You're a great Chaser. You're captain of the Quidditch team. You're funny and smart and talented. You're a natural leader. You're a great friend. I mean, Peter's practically in love with you."

"Seriously?" Peter sat beside Sirius. Was it too soon to offer him a high five? Maybe he shouldn't assume serious meant sex. Sirius had said he was fucking someone else, so maybe he'd shagged Lily Evans and now they were starting to date or something. "So she's willing to be seen in public with you and everything? I always thought Remus was the only one of us she'd do that with."

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padfooted
2012-07-28 04:43 am UTC (link)

"Are you trying to make me feel better or kill myself?" James asked as he stared back at Remus with a frown. "Because, letting me know that Peter is the only person in love with me is probably the worst thing you could ever say to me. It probably is the worst thing anyone has ever said to me."

"I don't know. I asked her to be my girlfriend. She said yes." Even though she'd hesitated at first. He ran his fingers through his hair, glancing at Peter. "I guess I amazed her with my cock."

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mycardigan
2012-07-28 04:51 am UTC (link)

"That's not what I said, James," Remus said, sighing and moving closer to the other boy. He touched his arm. "There are tons of people who fancy you, but you've only ever had eyes for Lily. That's why they've never said anything. And... she's my friend, but if she can't see how great you are then she doesn't deserve you."

Peter laughed at that. "I can't believe you got into her knickers," he said, shaking his head. "I can't believe she let you get into them, more than anything. She's hot."

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padfooted
2012-07-28 04:59 am UTC (link)

James looked back at Remus for a moment. Why couldn't Remus see how great he was? Without thinking, James leaned in and kissed Remus deeply for a moment, then pulled back and fell against the corridor wall. "Fuck."

"I know, right?" Sirius laughed and glanced at Peter. "She's definitely a natural redhead, though. All fire crotch down there. But, she's fucking hot. And moans like a banshee."

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mycardigan
2012-07-28 05:05 am UTC (link)

Remus really wasn't expecting that. He stared at James for a moment after the kiss and then cleared his throat. "You... Are you feeling... confused, James?" he asked, moving closer to him and touching his arm. "If you have questions or... or anything, we can talk."

Peter made a face at that. "Did not really need to know about the fire crotch thing," he said, then snorted. "Fuck. You're shagging Lily Evans. Have you gotten to... you know, go all the way yet?"

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	padfooted 2012-07-28 05:14 am UTC (link)
	"You're an idiot." James shook his head and then pulled away from Remus. "You're a fucking idiot, Moony. How can you just... Fuck!" He shouted, then reached up to tug at his own hair. "I don't even want to live anymore." "That's what shagging means, innit?" Sirius asked as he looked at Peter. "Have you still not found yourself a girlfriend yet?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

mycardigan
2012-07-28 05:18 am UTC (link)

Remus stared at James. "I'm confused," he said. "I don't understand why you'd kiss me if you're not... trying to come out or say you're confused or something. That's all. Just... use your words, James."

Peter frowned to himself for a moment, then shrugged. "Not yet," he said. "There's this girl in Hufflepuff who's okay. Amelia Bones. She's kind of chubby, but so am I, so... And her family is loaded."

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	padfooted 2012-07-28 05:20 am UTC (link)
	"I am using my words. I'm saying you're an idiot." James hit his head against the wall for a moment, then looked back at Remus. "I do fancy Lily. But.. I don't know. Haven't you noticed all the time I've tried to spend with you lately?" Sirius laughed at that. "Trying to marry up in the world? Good for you, Peter. I bet you could get her in no time." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

mycardigan
2012-07-28 05:23 am UTC (link)

"Well... Yeah," Remus said, after thinking about it for a moment. "I thought it was just... Sirius spending less time with me because of the fight. Like you felt bad about it. That wasn't it?" Apparently not, if they were having this conversation.

Peter shrugged. "There's no point in staying where I am," he said. "I might as well try and marry rich. Things'll be better off. Not everyone can live with the Potters and have rich uncles give them a small fortune."

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	padfooted 2012-07-28 05:25 am UTC (link)
	"You're an idiot." James told Remus and then shook his head. "I'm going to leave now. Since you are clearly dumber than a bag of gnomes." Sirius frowned at that. "Do you think I'm mooching off the Potters?" He asked. "Doesn't matter. I won't have a home to go back to." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

mycardigan
2012-07-28 05:32 am UTC (link)

"But..." Remus reached out and grabbed James's hand before he could leave. Maybe he was being dumber than a bag of gnomes. Maybe he should just assume kissing him meant what James kissing anyone else would mean. "You fancy me?"

Peter looked at Sirius for a moment. He did kind of think that he was mooching, but he knew better than to be that blunt. He would have liked to do it too. He hated how normal his family was. "No. You got kicked out of your house, and they like having you there. You and James aren't going to fight forever. Especially if you can get him over Lily." He paused for a moment, then tried not to smile. "You know, we didn't just see Remus and Rabastan on the map. We found them snogging. Well. More than snogging. I left, but James stayed behind, and he seemed like he liked it a little too much. Maybe he's really jealous you're with Lily and not him."

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	padfooted 2012-07-28 05:38 am UTC (link)
	"Now you're getting it." James looked back at Remus and sighed softly. "It's not like it matters, but yes. I fancy you. It took me seeing you snogging Rabastan Lestrange to even realise it. But, I do." "What?" Sirius frowned at Peter. What was he trying to say? "Are you a fag too?" He asked, arching a brow. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

mycardigan
2012-07-28 05:41 am UTC (link)

"It matters," Remus said, shaking his head. "You're one of my best friends, James. Your feelings are always going to matter to me. I have a boyfriend, yeah, but that doesn't mean I don't care about you." He gave James a slightly puzzled look. "You saw us snogging? I thought you just saw us on the map."

"What?" Peter blinked at Sirius for a moment, then made a face. "No," he said. "But James is. At least as much as you are. Just because he fancies Lily Evans doesn't mean he doesn't like boys too. He's probably snogging Remus now, since apparently Remus gets around."

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	padfooted 2012-07-28 05:50 am UTC (link)
	"I lied." James frowned at Remus. "I saw you on the map and then Peter and I thought he may be doing some sort of black magic on you. So we came down to check on you and you were... Well. You were shagging, actually." Sirius frowned at that. "You've got to be fucking kidding me." He stood up. "We should find them." (Reply to this)(Parent)

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