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crucio ([info]crucio) wrote in [info]cwf,
@ 2010-04-26 23:53:00


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open to quillan
Kellen was a fighter, but he wasn't doing well. The only thing really keeping him going was the fact that he had to see his son again, he just had to. Kieran needed him. He had no mother, and while he had the pack, Kellen knew his son well enough to know that Kieran needed him. He was all ready worried sick about his son, having felt the panic and despair from his son easily. They were connected more than an average son and father were, and Kellen knew that Kieran was special like Wendell had suggested. He just wanted to get back to his son more than anything else in the world. In between shifts, which were restless and he couldn't move, he just tried to sleep. He would ask about Kieran every day, though, obviously more worried about his son than himself.

At the moment he'd dozed off. He was grimey, dirty and disgusting, and he wanted a shower. He felt like he was sick with something because he wasn't getting enough food, and his body was literally stealing nutrients from itself. He looked haggerd, and broken as he laid on the little bed, curled up and completely silent. He was strong, and strong minded. He wouldn't speak to anyone but Quillan because Quillan was the one person he felt like he could convince to help him.


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[info]impotentwaffle
2010-05-06 04:08 am UTC (link)
When the cooking was done, he put the rest on the bed and then sat down on his own with his single hamburger. It was almost funny, the way someone so small as Kellen was surrounded with food and Quillan was holding one. He was starving as well, but he knew that he would never know hunger like a wolf could. One of his first lessons with Rex had been to use their appetite against them and that's exactly what he'd done against Kellen when he'd had him in the cage.

"Will they kill Rex if they can?" he asked suddenly.

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[info]crucio
2010-05-06 04:12 am UTC (link)
That was such a hard question for Kellen to answer, because he didn't want to lie to Quillan. He chewed and swallowed before he took another drink of water, and then he cleared his throat.

"Not out of cold blood, no," he said softly. "But if it comes down to us, or him... Protecting ourselves, yes. In self defense, we'll do what we have to. Just like if someone was trying to kill you, or someone you cared about, you'd do the same."

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[info]impotentwaffle
2010-05-06 04:39 am UTC (link)
"I have done the same, but it was wrong." He was only half done with his sandwich, but the reminder of the things he'd done in the past was enough to destroy his appetite and he wrapped it back up and set it on the nightstand. "But I understand."

He fell silent after that, scooting back on the bed and reaching for the remote to turn on the little television. He switched to the news.

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[info]crucio
2010-05-06 04:44 am UTC (link)
Kellen had always been understanding, and very forgiving. It was a huge part of what made him such a great father to Kieran. He could connect easily with people, and that made him very likable. He could tell Rex hadn't liked that about him, and one of the reasons why he didn't trust Kellen alone with Quillan.

"Quillan," he said softly as he put his food down and leaned against the pillows. "You've made mistakes. You're human. But you didn't really know the whole truth of why you were doing the things you were doing. You thought what you were doing was right, and why wouldn't you? The supernatural... It's hard to understand it all. You trusted Rex, and you know what? He might not even understand it all, he probably really feels that what he is doing is right."

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[info]impotentwaffle
2010-05-06 05:11 am UTC (link)
"I knew it wasn't right to kill my brother and I did it anyway because I was scared. I can't blame that on Rex and I can't blame it on ignorance. I was just fucking scared." His voice raised ever so slightly, but he wasn't angry at anyone but himself.

He focused very hard on the television, wishing he hadn't had a little outburst like that. Now Kellen really knew what kind of a person he was.

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[info]crucio
2010-05-06 05:21 am UTC (link)
Kellen was quiet for a moment before he leaned forward to take the remote so that he could switch the television off. He grabbed a hold of Quillan's hand and shifted a little so that he could try to meet Quillan's eyes, ignoring the aching in his limbs.

"Quillan," he said softly, "You were scared. And why wouldn't you have been? Something happened to your brother that you didn't understand. Given all the things that you've heard and been told... Why wouldn't you have been scared? Does that make it all okay? No. But that doesn't make you a bad person."

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[info]impotentwaffle
2010-05-06 04:44 pm UTC (link)
He was surprised when the TV switched off and he frowned a little. He couldn't get mad at Kellen, but he didn't want to talk about this. He was already regretful that he blurted out the information, especially to Kellen of all people.

But the comforting hand was nice, and he squeezed it with his own. "You're far too forgiving. I don't think your pack will be, or should be."

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[info]crucio
2010-05-06 08:48 pm UTC (link)
"Some won't be," Kellen told Quillan honestly. "But they won't hurt you, either."

He had faith in that, especially given the fact that Jocelin hadn't been bothered. Hunter wasn't a cruel man, he was just protective, and he had every right to be especially considering everything that had been thrown at the pack lately.

"But I forgive you, if that means something," he offered with a tired smile.

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[info]impotentwaffle
2010-05-07 03:14 pm UTC (link)
Quillan didn't think he'd be staying at the haven. What if he was a spy? Kellen seemed to trust him, but this very well could have been a befarious plan on Rex's part. If Hunter sent him packing far, far away, Quillan wouldn't blame him and might even thank him. He didn't want to lead danger right to Kellen's son. He couldn't forgive himself if something happened to him now.

Kellen's words wove right into him and tugged at his stomach. It made him feel strange. Guilt mixed with gratitude and relief. "It does mean something. It means a lot."

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[info]crucio
2010-05-07 04:56 pm UTC (link)
Kellen had faith that Hunter would be able to tell if Quillan was genuine or not. He'd done so with Jocelin, hadn't he? And Quillan knew Rex better than anyone, he could be valuable.

"I'm glad," Kellen said as he laid down again, but kept a hold of Quillan's hand.

It was obvious that the hunter had earned the wolf's trust as he laid there, curled up and looking up at the other man. There was something Quillan that Kellen had connected with from the start, and now he felt it was just ... Stronger.

"Would you lay down?" he asked after a moment, "With me, I mean? I'm use to contact and... I haven't had any, I know that sounds strange."

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[info]impotentwaffle
2010-05-07 05:14 pm UTC (link)
He looked down at their hands intertwined. He gave it another squeeze and finally offered a smile that was only a little sad. "It is a little strange--I'm not used to things like that. But I think it would have been nice to have that growing up--being close to someone."

Scrunching down on the bed, his body went all awkward as he tried to settle next to Kellen in a way that wasn't too intimate, but still comforting. He thought Kellen smelled good from the bath and just from himself. He wouldn't have minded leaning in to breathe his scent in, but he thought that might be too familiar.

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[info]crucio
2010-05-07 06:49 pm UTC (link)
Kellen rolled onto his side so that he could face Quillan, and he closed his eyes as he let his body relax. He swallowed hard and just curled up a little, moving a bit closer to Quillan for comfort. He wasn't pack, but he was there, and he smelled good. And he was warm.

"It was nice," he mumbled softly. "Being in a pack is like ... Having a huge family, you know?"

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[info]impotentwaffle
2010-05-07 07:58 pm UTC (link)
Quillan knew full well he wasn't going to be able to sleep tonight. But, he thought it was nice that he was going to be able to watch over Kellen so closely. As the man's eyelids drooped closed, he examined fondly the way that his eyelashes brushed over the tops of his cheeks. He resisted the urge to brush his thumb over them.

"A family sounds nice. A big one that doesn't have anything to do with work, or some grand mission to cleanse the world of perceived evil." Because that's what Rex had been and he could see that so much more clearly now. The man hadn't raised him as a son; he'd raised him as an apprentice.

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[info]crucio
2010-05-08 04:40 am UTC (link)
Despite Kellen's need for independence, and how proud he was of the life he'd built for himself and his son, he felt a little guilty for leaving the pack at all. Maybe if he hadn't, Rex would have never found them at all. It was a silly thought, though. It was Oliver and Harris who'd ultimately turned Rex onto their scent in the first place.

Kellen could pick up on the scent of attraction in the air, and it wasn't just his own, he could tell. He didn't want to push it, though, so he just parted his lips in a quiet sigh.

"You smell nice," he mumbled after a moment.

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[info]impotentwaffle
2010-05-08 04:13 pm UTC (link)
"Do I?" he exhaled, a little surprised. It made his skin flush pink and he was suddenly very aware of his body so close to Kellen's. He chewed on his bottom lip and tried to relax. "We should get some rest. I don't think Rex will find us tonight."

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[info]crucio
2010-05-08 11:02 pm UTC (link)
Kellen nodded his head, both in answer to Quillan's question of if he smelled good and in response to the man's suggestion. He let his fingers grab a hold of the material of Quillan's shirt for comfort as he relaxed and let out a quiet yawn. Despite the fact that he'd slept, he was still quite exhausted.

"We should go through the woods to get to the haven tomorrow," he murmured. "I can shift and lead you, if you trust me."

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[info]impotentwaffle
2010-05-09 12:09 am UTC (link)
"Lead me? As a wolf?" He tensed, muscles tightening instinctively. He didn't know if he could handle that. Part of him was dealing with all of this by just imagining that Kellen wasn't any different than he. But the man was right, going through the woods would be smarter than taking roads. After a moment, he sighed. "I'm sorry. Yes, I do trust you. That's--that's a good idea. We can do that."

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[info]crucio
2010-05-09 09:28 am UTC (link)
Kellen could sense the unease and tension in Quillan's body, and he pulled back a little bit so that he could open his eyes and look up at the other man.

"I won't hurt you, I promise," he said softly.

He'd been a wolf around Quillan before, but in a cage. Even then, he was aware of his human side, and the situation he was in. He'd done his best to show Quillan then that he wasn't some wild beast who wanted to kill humans.

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[info]impotentwaffle
2010-05-09 05:25 pm UTC (link)
Sticking his head in the sand was so much easier for him. But he knew it wasn't a good idea. He'd spent his life ignoring things, forgetting about his instincts and simply clinging to what Rex told him as truth. Now his instincts were reawakened, screaming that this man next to him was something special.

"I trust you," he said again, reassuring himself as much as he was reassuring Kellen. "You're very handsome as a wolf," he admitted. "You're handsome as a human too, but--I mean--you know that."

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[info]crucio
2010-05-09 09:21 pm UTC (link)
It felt good to hear Quillan say those words - that he trusted him. It meant more than Quillan would ever know, especially because Kellen knew how true they had to be for Quillan to risk everything just to help save him.

At the compliment, Kellen couldn't help but smile a little bit. He hadn't been expecting Quillan to say anything like that, not at all, but it made his stomach do little flips.

"I'm pretty sure I look like a wreck right now, but thank you," he said softly. "You're handsome, too."

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[info]impotentwaffle
2010-05-09 10:45 pm UTC (link)
He flushed, letting his arm drape over his face to try and hide his reaction to the return compliment. But he was pretty sure Kellen could smell the change in his hormones and anxiety levels. This kind of anxiety was kind of fun though, a rush.

Going quiet, he hoped Kellen could get some rest. But as he laid there, he indulged his impulse to brush the wolf's hair out of his eyes.

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[info]crucio
2010-05-10 01:36 am UTC (link)
Kellen liked when Quillan flushed like that. He found that he liked the pink tint very much. He closed his eyes and easily sank more against Quillan as the man brushed his hair away from his face. He could sense that Quillan was attracted to him, just like he was attracted to Quillan. He wanted to kiss the man but he was afraid it'd scare Quillan off somehow.

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