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Re: Within the Matrix
Several of the same scenes in Jai's mind play out, but there are others that are added. His torture at the hands of Damien Wilson, the endless experiments and the constant pain. The horror of realization when he knew that he was starting to lose his memory and the final, cold knowledge that no one was coming for him.

Michael and Traya can easily see that Jai's death was a moment of pure release for him, a last, desperate attempt to keep himself from being used further...and that he'd done all he could do die on Damien so that he couldn't be used further.

Then come the scenes they would recognize, only from Jai's perspective; the night Mitzi kissed him, the same night he was taken. The night that Black Lantern Jai attacked, the tortures he'd levied on Dinadan, Iris, his parents and the two of them. His failure at keeping Keith from "dying". His feelings of not being able to rejoin the land of the living after so long away.

The feeling that no matter how long or how fast or how far he runs, that death is nipping at his heels and gaining with every single milisecond that passes. Jai knows that he can't slow down, even though he knows that he /must/ do so in order to find some kind of peace.

Wave upon wave upon wave of guilt washes over Jai, mixed with an undercurrent of pain and anger...but above all, a bleakness and desolation of spirit.

For Jai West is not truly happy to be alive, not after the peace that death had finally granted him. What Nekron did to Jai was far worse than what even Damien put him through.And he can't possibly make Michael or Traya understand that it's not /them/ that he really hates.

Jai hates /himself/ most of all.