roads (

roads) wrote in

equations,
@ 2008-12-08 00:59:00

I've been meaning to do this all week! if i can't get point anymore, that's fine. I just wanted to go ahead & post it.

i'll follow the crowd.

THE BEGINNING

I was born on October third, 1989 in Bad Kreuznach Germany. My mom is a loud, full blooded German and my dad is American. The military led him to my mother and the three of us lived there until 1991. I also have a half sister who is nine years older than me who also lived with us. When we left Germany, she stayed and lived with our Oma and Opa. She resented my dad because she felt that it was his fault that our mother left Germany.

Unfortuteley, my mom (who is a hour away) has all of our old pictures in a box.
This is us now:

on the day of my high school graduation.

& this is dad:

After living in a small Arkansas town for two years, my dads job took us to the 'big city' of North Little Rock. We lived in a teeny tiny apartment where we barely made enough money to live on. To top that off, my Oma died which then sent my (then) sixteen year old sister to live with us. She was cranky, bitchy and not too fun to be around. She hated it. She had never been out of Germany before & couldnt speak a word of English, so it was a hard move for her.

Through out Kindergarten, my best friend was Makenzie. She continuted to be my best friend through the fourth grade. We were ALWAYS together and i spent pretty much every weekend at her house. I have the best memories with her and miss it so much.

THE MIDDLE
My parents divorced in 1999. By this time we were living in a really nice house on a lake that i really loved. My mom, sister & I stayed there while my dad moved out and got an apartment. The divorce was really hard for me and quickly that started to show in everything that i did. My grades slipped from straight A's to C's and D's and i gained a lot of weight. My attitude got much worse also. My parents were fighting so bad at this time that i hardly got to see my dad at all - and eventually it got to a point where i never saw him. It wasnt his fault, i realize now, but my moms. She threatened him and lied to me. Manipulated him. It's a side of my mom that i've come to despise, but also accept. I can't change her & she'll always be my mom. I've just realized that forgetting & forgiving is better and our relationship (now) has grown so much because of it.

Then my mom met Mike. In 2000, my mom & I moved to Pine Bluff (a hour away) to live with him. My sister, who was eighteen at the time, moved in with her current fiance, Phillip. This move drastically changed my life. It killed my mom & I's relationship & strained hers & my step dads. It kept me miserable and sheltered for five years of my life.

My mom & Mike last Christmas. They married in 2003.
Mike is a great guy, don't get me wrong. He's so good to my mom & he was to me as well.

My sister & Phillip.

I lived in PB until 2005. I started dating my ex in 2004 and dated him until 2007. His name was Chad & he lived over 600 miles aways in Virginia.

This is us Christmas of o6' i believe. Chad was my first love. My first kiss. Everything. With him being so far away, i was very sheltered and pretty much spent all of my time on the phone or online talking to him. I dont' regret our relationship, but i wish i would have found the courage to end it sooner. But we'll get to that later.

My best friend through this time period is Taylor. She happens to be my current room mate.

From 2001-2005 - we were inseperable. She was basically my sister. In 2002, my dad came into my life again. Things had finally settled down with him & my mom. EVERY weekend, me & taylor would go to Little Rock and stay with my dad. It was one of the best times. It was so much fun. In 2005, we got into a fight that left us not talking to each other for two years. This fight is what ultimitely gave me the courage to move in with my dad (who i had gotten VERY close to). My relationship with my mom was rocky at best. We were CONSTANTLY fighting and i hated Pine Bluff. The only reason i didnt leave sooner was because of Taylor.

So this brings us to 2005. By this time, my dad was absolutely and positively my best friend. Moving in with him was the BEST decision i've ever made. I went to a magnet school my sophomore year & the first semester of junior year. I really only made a connection with one person. Her name is Malin.

Me & her Jan. this year.

THE.NOW
Around May of last year, my feelings for Chad were slowly wearing away. I was working at my first job & was meeting TONS of people. This is where i met my current boyfriend. Meeting him finally gave me the courage to end my relationship (where i was COMPLETELY unhappy) and for the next year, i hung out with these people:

Sarah, Michael & yes that idiot on the right holding my purse is my bf ;D

I had so much fun with them. Every weekend, we'd stay over at my bf's apt together. We went to Texas, which is where that picture was taken, for a weekened. Sadly, we have grown apart from them. Michael is still one of my bfs best friends, but it's nothing like it used to be.

That pretty much brings us to 2008. I graduated High School, moved out into my own apartment & now i'm starting my first semester of collge in the spring. My best friend from elementary school (who i stayed in touch with up until this year) moved back to my city. (she had moved to texas in fourth grade) I'm really disapointed, because she was my BEST friend and over the past few months we've slowly drifted apart. She's a stoner now and spends all her time smoking pot & getting drunk.

OTHER.STUFF

The girl on the far right is my other room mate, Kim. She is AMAZING and has helped me out more than i can prob ever repay her. She's quickly becoming one of my best friends. I love her to death.

Me & my boyfriend. He's my rock. My everything. I truly know what it feels like to be in love after meeting him. He knows me inside & out. He brings me back down to reality. He calms me. He's shown me love that i've never imagined before now.

LOL. Totally found this on my dads myspace. He's the one on the right.

I would be utterly lost without my dad. He's my best friend & always will be. He knows EVERYTHING about me, even the bad parts. He doesnt judge. He only listens. He's been there for me everytime i've ever needed him. I truly couldnt ask for anyone better. It makes me cry just thinking about it. I don't know what i'm going to do when i lose him. He's getting married next year to a (i hope) great girl named April. He's the happiest he's ever been which makes me happy. I love him more than life.

I talked earlier about my sister. Despite having an EXTREMELY rocky start, she's one of the closest people in my life. She's amazing. I look up to her so much. She's one of the smartest people i know & has the most courage. She started over in another COUNTRY completely unknown to her & has made something of herself. Something i'm proud of. She's so good to me, probably too good.

Ultimtely, i have an extremely close family. (even though it may not have seemed that way). Things are slowly falling into place & i really couldnt live without any of them.

+15 pictures.

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