thoreau lestrange (thoreau) wrote in mudbloods,
@ 2013-08-25 00:13:00

Thoreau wasn't sure he knew how to handle the way his life was going now. He wasn't on drugs. He hardly drank. He never missed his classes and he actually studied for his tests and did his homework because it just... seemed like the thing to do. His uncle's death was hard, but Rex seemed happy in America in his emails, and Rex being away meant that Thoreau couldn't slip up and go out partying with him.

Everything was good. Nice. Just... maybe a little bit... boring. Thoreau closed his book after reading the same sentence three times. "Do I really need A-levels to open a restaurant?" he asked, looking across the room at Rooney.

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roomac
2013-08-25 11:12 pm UTC (link)

Rooney didn't like how little faith Thoreau had in him. Even if he said that he trusted him, he didn't believe him. It was the way he looked at him, like he was just waiting for him to leave him all the time.

"You drive me fucking mental sometimes." Rooney told him, shaking his head. "You don't trust me. You only say you trust me so I don't get mad at you about it. I've never given you a reason to not trust me."

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thoreau
2013-08-25 11:16 pm UTC (link)

"I know," Thoreau promised. "I know that, Roo. You're good to me. You give me everything I need and you hardly ever ask for anything from me in return. You're just... too good for me."

He ran a hand through his hair, shrugging. "Why would you stay with me if something better came along? You're smart and good looking and just... I'm this needy ex-addict who asks you to let me touch other people and all sorts of other bad things."

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roomac
2013-08-25 11:20 pm UTC (link)

"You didn't ask me to let you touch anyone else. I offered." Rooney frowned down at him, shaking his head. "And you really fucking piss me off with this shit about you not being good enough for me. I get so tired of hearing you put yourself down."

Rooney could feel himself starting to cry. "Just... Fuck. I love you, Thoreau. That's why I want to be with you. To me, you're worth more than anything."

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thoreau
2013-08-25 11:23 pm UTC (link)

Making Rooney cry was just one more reason for Thoreau to feel like he wasn't good enough for him. He moved closer to Rooney, wrapping his arms around him and holding him close. "Don't cry, Roo. Please don't cry."

He kissed at Rooney's neck, trying to calm him down. "I love you too. I think you're so amazing and smart and you're so good to me. I promise I'll be good to you too. I won't put myself down in front of you anymore."

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	roomac 2013-08-26 12:32 am UTC (link)
	Rooney grabbed Thoreau's hands and pushed them above him, pinning him against the counters. He kissed Thoreau deeply, rubbing their hips together firmly, then flipped him around and slapped him hard on the bum. "You're not going to put yourself down period. In front of me. Not in front of me. Never again. Do you hear me?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	thoreau 2013-08-26 12:35 am UTC (link)
	Thoreau let out a surprised moan when Rooney pressed him against the counter and slapped his bum. "I -- okay," he agreed, letting out a soft breath. "I promise. Never again." He twisted his head around so he could look up at Rooney. "I won't say anything bad about myself." If this was the only promise he broke to Rooney, it would still be a big improvement. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	roomac 2013-08-26 01:46 am UTC (link)
	Rooney had taken the liberty of getting a handful of pamphlets and brochures from several different culinary schools that Thoreau could go to. One was even close to York. He chewed at his bottom lip and walked into the house, putting them down in front of Thoreau. "I got you something." He told him, looking down at him. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	thoreau 2013-08-26 02:01 am UTC (link)
	Thoreau blinked at the pamphlets in front of him, sitting on top of his textbook, and then picked them up, beginning to go through him. "You got me school pamphlets?" He looked up at Rooney, then back down at the pamphlets. "Are they all in York?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

roomac
2013-08-26 02:16 am UTC (link)

"No. They're all over." Rooney told him as he looked down at Thoreau. "Even if I do end up going to school in York, that's no reason for you to give up on your dream just to be with me."

He sat down beside him. "We love each other. I'm going to marry you. Four years for me to go to school really isn't that long. And culinary school isn't even that long. I checked."

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thoreau
2013-08-26 02:22 am UTC (link)

"I know. It's more like one or two years," Thoreau said, looking down at the pamphlets again. Four years, even just one or two years, was a really long time. Even if they loved each other.

"You'll be going a year before me," he pointed out. "So it's two or three years apart." Rooney had never been apart from the person he wanted. He didn't understand. Thoreau had experience. He could still remember how desperately he'd missed Radley whenever they were apart. "Thank you for the pamphlets. I'll look at them."

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	roomac 2013-08-26 02:30 am UTC (link)
	Rooney looked back at Thoreau for a moment. He didn't want to have to feel guilty about trying to make sure that they both got what they wanted out of life. He sighed heavily and shook his head. "I don't see your problem. It's not like you'd be lonely." Rooney pointed out. "You're the one who is allowed to sleep around." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	thoreau 2013-08-26 02:37 am UTC (link)
	Thoreau looked up at Rooney and frowned. "Fucking other people won't make me feel less lonely. If it did, then I wouldn't have been so miserable when all I did was screw men and get high." He ran a hand through his hair, closing his textbook. "We're going to be apart. That's what my problem is." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	roomac 2013-08-26 02:39 am UTC (link)
	"Fine. I won't go." Rooney told him as he looked at Thoreau. "I'll stay here in this house and I'll do jerk off videos like my Dad does. That''s good money, right?" He shook his head. "In fact, why don't both of us ruin our lives and never go to Uni? Just so we never have to be apart for two years." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	thoreau 2013-08-26 02:43 am UTC (link)
	Thoreau didn't think he deserved this. Rooney treating him like an idiot because he didn't want to be alone. He threw the textbook in his hand on the ground. "Just fucking break up with me already!" He reached out and pushed Rooney. "Break up with me and then you can go to York and you won't have to spare me a second thought. You can fuck anyone you want to." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

roomac
2013-08-26 02:46 am UTC (link)

Rooney didn't like being pushed. He grabbed Thoreau's arms and pushed him back against the wall, holding him there. "Don't you fucking see what I'm trying to do? I'm not trying to break up with you! I'm trying to stay with you and love you for the rest of my life."

He felt his heart ache. "I'm trying to go to school and get a degree so that I can provide for you and give you a better life." He was tearing up again and he felt so pathetic about it. "You keep telling me to break up with you and it's starting to make me feel like you want me to break up with you so you don't have to break up with me."

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thoreau
2013-08-26 02:51 am UTC (link)

"I don't want to break up with you," Thoreau promised, looking up at Rooney, feeling incredibly guilty as he watched the other boy's eyes water. "I'm not allowed to say the things I want to say anymore, Roo. I can't tell you when I keep telling you to break up with me."

He shook his head a little. "I want you to go, Rooney. I want you to go to school and get a degree and a better life. I just don't want to hold you back."

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roomac
2013-08-26 03:03 am UTC (link)

"The only way you're going to hold me back is if you don't go to school and fulfill the dreams you have." Rooney shook his head. "I'm not Radley. I plan on going to school and having a future and being something successful. I want to make a life with you."

He sighed softly and ran a hand through his hair. "Fuck. I just want you to love me enough to wait until you're finished with school and then to move in with me off campus in York."

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	thoreau 2013-08-26 03:08 am UTC (link)
	Thoreau did love Rooney, but what was so wrong with not wanting to be away from the person you loved? He chewed on his bottom lip for a moment, then nodded. "I can do that for you. I'll come around." He leaned up and kissed Rooney softly. "I hate when I make you cry. I'll be better. I promise. I love you enough to finish school before I come live with you." (Reply to this)(Parent)

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