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The tears was hurting his throat more and more, and he wanted to just run out, but if the tears would come then, which they would probably do, then all the people in the crowded common room see them and he would be laughed at, he so knew it. And it was bad enough that they laughed at him and called him fag and other words, behind his back, but to his face, he didn't know if he would be able to take that. He swallowed, trying to get the bump in his throat down so he could concentrate to only be mad at Dean, because that was what he wanted, to be really mad and almost punish him, not be a baby and cry. He turned away from the door that he was standing at ready to leave and go out, and stared at Dean. He had made him think.. think he actually liked him, turned him to fall for him to and then he just left him? He was such a fucking asshole, how could he not see that? His jaw was shaking, as he bit down on his bottom lip and tried to hold it there, he wouldn't cry.. he just wouldn't. "I thought you.. t-thought you had at last come to your fucking senses! But you freaking enjoy this don't you? Lie to me.. tell me you like me.. more than a friend and then you go to someone else.. when you enjoy seeing me get hurt by it! YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE..! Y-you.. just.. Fuck off..!"

He turned away, as the tears started to break out in his eyes and escape them and roll down for his cheeks. It was not a slow and quiet crying, it was a panic filled and hysterical one, leaving him sobbing like a three year old little boy, he coughed and tried to take a deep breath to calm himself down, but it didn't work his mind couldn't stop thinking about it. How he would completely alone now, he didn't even have Dean.. as anything anymore. And who had gotten him into all of this? Dean. If he had never had told him he actually liked him more than a friend, things would be just normal and he didn't even do anything, or said anything, to comfort him. It was all about him, him and him, as long as he was loved in the right way and as long as he was happy and out being gay as he wanted, fuck anyone else! Just fuck them.. Dean had changed.. or had he always been like this..? Maybe, and Sam had never seen it. He had been so blind, thought that they actually were friends.

The tears was falling more and more now, he was shaking, as he felt so stupid and so embarrassed, but he just couldn't stop it, it was like the last hope he had been holding onto now was gone, everything was cut off from him, and he was all alone, and he could only call for help, but never did anyone come. "Fucking hell.." He mumbled to his shaking hands, and tried to relax, bit it was impossible to do right now, he just wished nothing had never happened, that he would not feel like this.. that he would be his happy old self back again.. the person that could press away these worried and depressed thoughts, not this person that couldn't control them and that fell a part every time they came..