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If Dean thought he was making things better with what he was saying to him, he was wrong, really couldn't be more wrong. If he had done it without getting him into it.. then maybe Sam had been a little bit more fine with it, but now, when Dean just spoke about that Ackerley happened and then he couldn't explan it. In other words Dean had just told him that sure he was ok, but Ackerley was so much better and he would pick him over Sam any day, whatever it was on about. It hurt worse than anything had done yet, because that meant that not even their friendship meant enough for Dean, over six years of friendship, one of the closest ones, and he was right now just ready to throw it away on a Ravenclaw, on his school crush. He thought he had known him.. Sam would never ever pick any of whoever he was with over Dean, and he had thought it had been the same for his best friend, that he would never do that either.. But he guessed he had been wrong, fuck he had been such a fool. The tears that had calmed down maybe for a little short while, not started up again, the hysterical ones, and he started to sob loudly, feeling more and more like a bloody girl, but right now he couldn't control it or stop it, so he tried to ignore thinking how stupid he looked and all. But why should he care? He was just crying in front of a liar and false best friend..

When he suddenly heard Dean said he was sorry, and then there was a hand on his shoulder and before he could get it as far away as he could away from him, he felt Dean come to hug him, and he froze. Sam loved hugs, he loved any touching like that, and kissing too, but now he hated it. He felt himself getting angry and he felt how disappointed he felt, how tricked, Dean had been playing with him.. and what did he try to do..? No words, except I'm a sorry and a few ones about how he had suddenly met the most amazing person that beat out Sam anytime, not one fucking comfort word.. more than that and then he tried hug him?! He would have loved Dean's hug almost any time but right now, now he just wanted him as far away from him as possible, so out of no where he gave Dean a hard push and took a couple of steps away, just staring at him, hurt, angry and so much disappointment shining out through his eyes, and was showed all over his face, as he just stood there, with cheeks red and striped from the tears, that was still running down there.

"FUCK OFF! What part of that don't you get?! I wish I never could see you again.. I wish you would just go away! Go to him, the perfect one.. he that just happened, he that you would pick me over ANY FUCKING DAY! Him, go to him, Dean! Go and to him and hug him and cry, or you know what? Laugh, do that, laugh and tell him how I cried like a little baby and how much enjoyed that! I bet he would love to tell all his friends! And you know what?! When you're at it?! Tell that bitch Morag too! We both know you already fucking did! SO FUCK OFF, DEAN, FUCK OFF!" He knew the people down in the common room could hear, but he so didn't care right now, it felt like Dean had stabbed him, it was just as painful.. or so he guessed.. he wanted to just leave, but he had no where to go, and if he left school, what waited him there? A mother that didn't give a fuck, his sisters who were all married and lived on their own and a quiet grave.. that never would give him the comfort he wanted and needed so badly.. He never thought it was even possible to feel so lonely and so out of all energy to even live and breath..