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Just as Dean expected he was pushed away, and it just made him stand there and look at Sam. He scratched the back of his head through his hat and moved his hand to his cheek to brush the tears away that were falling. He looked at Sam completely heart broken that Sam wouldn’t take his apology, but then could he blame him. He had hurt him, and he had really fucked up.

“Sam I’m not leaving.” He looked at him brushing his tears that continued to fall away from his face. “I care about you, no matter what. You are like fucking family to me. You are my family. My mum and dad don’t give a shit about me. You were all I had, you are all I have. I love you, just not more than a brother. I thought I did, but my constant obsession with you was just my way of holding on to you.” Dean looked down at his feet and he scuffed them against the ground. “I don’t care if you don’t talk to me, and you can leave if you want to, but I am staying here to be with you. I am not going to just let you go. I can’t have the only person I have cared about other than myself for the last six years leave on me. I don’t care if you talk to me. I just want to know you are there. If you need me ever, and I have plans with Stewart I will cancel. If you are hurt, or upset I will be there.” Dean felt his voice breaking as he talked. He was not going to hold it together; he knew he was going to sob hysterically at some point.

Dean moved to sit on his bed and looked at Sam. “I mean it. If you ever need me I will be there. The fact I hurt you is what is killing me the most right now. If I could love you the way I thought I did I would, I really would. You mean the world to me. You are my family. If people ask me who my family is, it is you. Life without you seems strange and foreign. I didn’t know people could care about you, till I met you.” Dean removed his shoes and moved to lie on his bed. He would say here. Sure he had made plans to see Stewart, but he wasn’t leaving. If Sam was here, he was here. He wanted to comfort him some way, some how, even if it was just laying in silence.