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the beautiful derek d. dobbs ([info]bigd) wrote in [info]valesco,
@ 2011-08-06 23:53:00


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Entry tags:darien dobbs, derek dobbs

Darien
He'd put it off.

Derek knew that. It didn't make him feel good or better, but it hadn't exactly eaten away at him. If the decision had been his, no one beside he and Dianna would know. Not because of the shame, or that it was privileged information, or any such thing—simply because the more one talked about it, the more real it became. For every person he told, it was one more dreaded pinch from reality, an affirmation that this was not the worst nightmare he couldn't wake up from, but something he was living.

But Dianna, of all people, had reasoned with him in that chillingly serene and unflappable manner she'd adopted. All it had taken was hinting at how Derek would feel in a reversal of the circumstances… if it had been his little brother who'd found out, and then never saw fit to tell him. Then he knew, it was time to come to terms with reality, with the gravity of the situation, if only because it was what she wanted. Dianna had to come first in every respect.

He contemplated the door to Darien's residence. Derek had been distant with him, but no more so than normal, he'd thought. More than one person had commented on his increased anger and aggression on the field, however, and he'd spent far more time than necessary on the clock, because it meant avoiding home, his sister, his roommate, and that swirling pit of guilt that he was undoubtedly responsible for what had happened to her. Derek stood outside, striving for composure. How to begin? Where to begin? But composure never came. So he raised his hand and knocked.

"Darien? It's Derek."



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[info]bigd
2011-08-13 05:39 am UTC (link)
Derek was already shaking his head no. "Darien, there's nothing. It was months ago. He was… he was wearing his mask and robes the whole time. He didn't—," Hell, how many times did he have to relive this moment, be it in his head or outloud, "he didn't even use his wand the whole time. If there was ever anything to find, it's been gone for ages. I went back and looked myself, it's…" he trailed off with a defeated hanging of his head. "It's a dead cold trail."

If there was one thing Derek was tired of being, it was angry. The only thing worse than that was helpless. It was sheer and utter hell to constantly live them both. Not only living them both, but pulling others into his miserable world, kicking and screaming. It's like they didn't even stand a chance with him around.

"Look, now she just—needs us to be there. She's seeing some specialist at St. Mungo's, it's… I think it's helping, but she just needs you, all right? Her brother."

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[info]littled
2011-08-13 08:38 am UTC (link)
Darien was shaking his head 'no' too, but it was because he didn't want to listen any more to what Derek was saying. He didn't want to hear about all of the stupid little things that each made such a tremendous difference between hope and hopelessness. All he wanted to hear was one thing, one little bone that could be thrown to give them something off of which to go and not make it so that this enmity that was boiling up inside of him had nowhere to be channelled.

No, Derek had to have missed something. There was no way that the sister of two hitwizards could be attacked and nothing could be done about it. What kind of odds were those, anyway? Stuff like that just didn't happen, and something had been missed and if only he could go check it out himself---

--But Darien's train of thought stopped dead at his older brother's last words, his mention of what Dianna needed. What Dianna needed. The heat of his fury did not--could not--vanish, but very suddenly it felt like the flame had been covered and put away, allowing him a presence of mind he hadn't experienced in the past several minutes. Unfortunately, with it also came a hideous sense of anguish that there was little more that could be done.

"You should have told me before now," was all he said, voice low and toeing the line between dismay and frustration. He didn't care if Derek had only found out yesterday--he was her twin brother, not him. He should have known within seconds, no matter what an idiot they both thought he was. "Don't you ever keep something like this from me when it comes to her."

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[info]bigd
2011-08-14 02:37 am UTC (link)

That was what he'd been thinking about as he'd walked up, wasn't it? Funny to hear his own thoughts thrown back at him, even if it was coincidental. Derek gave him a long, hard look that was not without some compassion.

He needed to come to terms with the fact that he hadn't told Darien yet because he hoped he could make it all go away. That with just enough time, he'd somehow be able to solve and rectify this horrible deed, or even better, undo it all. Stop it from happening. But he couldn't do either of those things, and it somehow felt worse than the simple knowledge of his sister being hurt.

He didn't bother pulling the "big brother knows all" card, not here. If Darien had been the one to find out and hadn't told Derek straightaway himself, he would probably have dissolved into the fullest fury at him. That was the burden of being the eldest, he thought. Believing you were entitled to call the shots for everything. Just the same, though, Darien was her twin and that was a separate bond altogether. Derek inclined his head just a fraction.

"Well, I am telling you now," he said quietly.

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[info]littled
2011-08-14 04:45 am UTC (link)
He couldn't take it. With one swift movement, before he could think better of it, Darien's fist flew out towards Derek's left cheek. He didn't know if he connected because he couldn't feel anything through this bright red curtain of rage, but he didn't care either. He just wanted Derek to know how beyond furious he was, how fucking unacceptable that answer had been and how shitty of a brother he thought he was in that moment. He could barely think, mind wiped clean of all that hitwizard training that preached of controlling emotions and thinking things through.

To hell with all of that. This was his twin sister and Derek hadn't told him. He hadn't told him and he hadn't apologized; he hadn't done shit except make a stupid excuse. No, there was no way he was getting away with that.

For a split second he considered that maybe that was the blow he wanted to badly to deliver to the man who had set this all in motion, who had crushed his sister's spirit... but it would have been a lie to say that he was the only one Darien wanted to hurt in that moment.

No, he had definitely meant that for Derek.

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[info]bigd
2011-08-15 05:19 am UTC (link)
His head snapped to the side with the force of the blow, the telltale throb of broken blood vessels low under his skin. The muscle in his jaw tensed as he stood still there, watching Darien with a sort of detachment he hadn't felt since before he'd knocked on the door. Studying. Observing. Very clinical. And what he observed was so familiar to him, but Derek felt even less able to reason out naïve youth than he had when he'd been it himself.

"Get it out before you talk to her," Derek said, turning on his heel toward the door.

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