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Odette picked her head up from her knees, squinting her heavy-lidded eyes toward the sun. In the process of the past few hours, she had slid down to the ground, using the end rail from the porch steps as support to lean against. With time she had pushed herself up against it so much so that sitting like this had become uncomfortable, but not wanting to move, she had endured it.

Anna? It warmed her heart and body to think of seeing her daughter right now, even if it meant walking into the house to get her. She began to nod in response, doing so before anything could change her mind. The house... Odette bit her bottom lip, suddenly feeling unsure if she could endure walking through it. It would be hard to walk by so many happy memories that suddenly felt heavy. She squished her legs closed to her chest, taking the moment to rest her chin on her shoulder.

She hadn't wanted to leave because leaving meant... that nothing had been fixed, nothing had changed. And Odette didn't want that, she knew at least. It meant giving up, which she wasn't ready to admit yet, either. So... awkward, and cold, silent sitting it was. Releasing her hands from their tight grip on her legs, Odette frowned. But with the awakening of Anna started the involvement of the children, even more than they already were. So she couldn't--- it had to be now.

Opening her mouth to speak, Odette faltered. How could there be still so much she wanted to say, and yet not have the words to say it? She looked at Noah sadly, fully, waiting for a few moments for him to find her gaze. Even though she had decided that what she wanted to say had to be now, Odette found herself again at a loss for words.

"Mmh..." she started, too focused to be startled by her use of the word 'mmh'. To give herself more time, she slowly rose back to her feet. Even after all this quiet thinking, Odette still found it difficult to pick the right words.

"I love you, and I love Terry and Anna, but I feel--- I am struggling to let go of this--- this thought that makes me doubt us, everything about us, because we got engaged so quickly, and then Anna came and then we got married--- I don't want to think these things but that's all I can think about, it's---" Odette's hands went to her head again, and she began to shake it. Was she even making sense? It felt like a door had been opening to her stream of conscious and it was all pouring out.

"It's like--- how could I not know, and out of everyone in the entire world, it's you and Kate Dagworth that are Terry's parents, something--- when I'd been growing up the last thing I had ever wanted was to get married and have children, and it was fine until--- until--- I don't want to be so bothered by what has happened, but it does, it bothers me so much to the point, where--- where--- I don't even want to go into the house, because it's your house and not our house--- and-- and--" Odette stopped momentarily, feeling her tears return as she waved her hands around in an exasperated manner.

"How can I be thinking these things, why can't I just--- I can't let it go."