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g i a d a ([info]shelovesyou) wrote in [info]valesco,
@ 2008-05-11 18:53:00


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Entry tags:giada dorny, rachel corner

Rachel!
She felt like she hadn't done anything outside of work and sleep for the past month. Giada couldn't believe---a month and a day, Alexandria had been dead a month and a day. Her friend had been gone for one month and one full day and she still couldn't find the strength to start...start moving on as people liked to say. How--how was she supposed to do that? It wouldn't make things better, it wouldn't bring one of her best friends back, so--so--what was the point?

If there was one, Giada couldn't see it. She felt terribly guilty for having to put Graeme through all of this, just as they'd moved in together, but all her attempts at being happy were short-lived and...ugh. She wouldn't be surprised if he broke up with her, with how she was so closely resembling a dementor, the way she sucked the fun out of everything she did.

The knock on their flat's door surprised her, and Giada slipped off the couch, keeping her warm blanket over her shoulders. Graeme was out somewhere (ugh, horrible girlfriend, he'd told her too but she hadn't exactly been listening---) and she wasn't expecting anyone, but it was probably Sam or Ally, checking in and making sure she wasn't drowning away her sorrows. They'd be sorely disappointed.

"Rachel!" she squeaked after peeking through the peep hole. Giada opened the door and smiled as warmly as she could (which wasn't much) at her friend. "Hi, hi--come in." Oh, she probably looked a wreck.


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[info]malengled
2008-05-12 04:14 am UTC (link)
Rachel swallowed, the icy mass suddenly burning a trail down her throat. Licking her lips, she looked thoughtfully at Giada for a few moments before gazing at the floor.

She could lie and say she was over it, and she could lie and say it hadn't affected her. The truth was, she wasn't really sure how she was. In terms of Alexandria, she wasn't okay, not at all. But in terms of life? She doubted that one ever really stopped mourning the loss of a friend, but it was painfully obvious life hadn't stopped either. In that one month and day so many other things had happened, so many other deaths, even, that she didn't know if that gave her more perspective or skewed what she already had.

"I'm different," she said at last. "A lot of it has to do with Alexandria, but some of it doesn't. I'm different. I'm okay. How are you, G?"

Though the answer looked painfully obvious from where she was sitting.

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[info]shelovesyou
2008-05-14 07:08 am UTC (link)
Different. That was a good answer. It let people think what they want, it let them try and put it together themselves, and it put Rachel off the hook from answering any kind of personal questions that might spew from her lips.

But, Giada knew that she wasn't going to be the one to pry and make Rachel crack and divulge her deepest and darkest feelings. No, Giada could barely speak aloud any of her feelings, good or bad. Especially the bad, of course---she bottled it up, let it drive her absolutely mad and up the wall before she finally burst and let everything explode and shatter around her. Part of her thought it was because she didn't want to worry other people, but she was coming to realize, after all the bad that had been going on the past few months, that she simply wasn't strong enough to face things by herself.

So, she looked down into the bowl of ice cream at Rachel's question, trying very hard to come up with something to say, but her lips stayed glued shut. Her eyes, however, were a good indicator to how she was really feeling, as they immediately welled up with tears she'd so easily been able to produce this past month.

Giada shook her head quickly and turned to Rachel, looking almost fearful as she bit her lip and tried to hold her cries back. But her hands had started to shake, and she dropped the bowl to the floor and nearly threw herself at her friend, letting out loud sobs and not carrying if she had ice cream all over her front.

"She's dead!"

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[info]malengled
2008-05-15 03:29 am UTC (link)
Rachel wrapped her arms around the shaking Giada firmly and hugged her as tightly as she could. "I know, darling, I know. It's been hard on all of us." She stroked her hair and thought about what an understatement that was. It was like the first person Rachel had grown up with, had known closely, had been friends with, gone. She didn't know how often of an occurrence in life this was, but she didn't like it. It was such a reminder of mortality that it made her cringe, shrivel up, lie awake at night shaking because death was such a constant.

"But you have to move past it. I know it's difficult-- I haven't even managed it myself. But you can't let it rule you. You have to live your life too, you know."

She hugged her even tighter and squeezed her own eyes, afraid tears might flow too. On the counter, the ice cream started to melt, but she found she couldn't much care about warm ice cream.

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