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Ronald Weasley ([info]spidersbegone) wrote in [info]riddikulus,
@ 2008-02-26 18:49:00


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WHO: Ron Weasley and Harry Potter
WHEN: Afternoon, before dinner/after classes
WHERE: Boy's Dorm
SUMMARY: Harry and Ginny had a fight and Ron, being the awesome best mate he is, lets Harry vent.
RATING:PG to PG13 for possible swearing
STATUS: Complete



As soon as Ginny had told him that the reason she was so grumpy was because her and Harry had fought, Ron knew something was up. No matter how headstrong Ginny was, Ron knew that her and Harry were in love (though sometimes he tried to ignore it) and rarely had big whopping arguments. Still, it worried him when Ginny told him the reason they'd had their fight: that Harry didn't sleep the night before and they'd gotten into a row about it.

Ginny had been trying to tell Ron for weeks that Harry wasn't doing well and Ron had told her over and over to give him time and let him come around. But if it was getting to a point where Harry wasn't sleeping anymore, something had to be said. Ron felt guilty himself, for not being a better friend and noticing something was wrong. They lived in the same dorm for Merlin's sake and he hadn't even noticed Harry hadn't been in bed the night before.

Thinking it was about time he played the best mate role, Ron headed up the the dorms and hoped Harry was in there. Holding his bag and journal, he walked in the room and glanced over to Harry's bed, seeing the curtains shut again as he tossed his stuff into his trunk.

"Oi, Harry, you in there?" He called over to him, tentavely.


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[info]hjpotter
2008-02-27 02:05 am UTC (link)
Harry sighed, rubbing his eyes under his glasses. He just wanted to disappear today: between the violence of his nightmare last night, circling the castle twice, the lack of sleep, the spells he practised in the dead of the night in the Astronomy Tower, the fight with Ginny, the issues she kept demanding he face -

Harry needed a vacation from himself. Maybe Guatemala wasn't so bad right now.

Instead, he had buried himself in a book of Dark Arts battle techniques that Lupin had owled him. Spread around him were parchments of notes on the DA; he was going to approach McGonagall tomorrow at their tea about it, and he was holding his breath, praying in every corner of his mind, that she would find it to be a good idea, too.

At the sound of Ron's voice, Harry was tempted to stay silent and work harder on the DA plans, but what was the use. He could feel, almost a knowledge that radiated from his bones, that Ron would not be dissuaded by a lack of reply. Ron would yank open the curtains, Harry was certain.

"Yeah?" he said, mustering as much good cheer into his voice as he could manage, pulling a curtain back and putting a smile on his face. "Cheers mate."

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[info]spidersbegone
2008-02-27 02:09 am UTC (link)
Ron shut his trunk and proceeded to walk over and stand by the edge of Harry's bed, observing him closely through slightly narrowed eyes and knowing the cheerfulness he was displaying was complete and utter rubbish. He wasn't happy at all and as much as he thought Harry might just want to be alone, he wasn't going to budge this time. He was worried now and just venting a bit might make Harry feel better.

"Working on the DA stuff?" He asked looking over all the parchments and stuff around Harry on his bed. Picking one up he saw a list of spells Harry thought would be useful and he nodded as he read, knowing quite a few of them but thinking the practise wouldn't hurt.

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[info]hjpotter
2008-02-27 02:22 am UTC (link)
Harry, however, thought that his cheerfulness was utterly convincing: it had been for months. Nodding, he pointed at the parchment Ron was holding. "Just getting ready to ask McGonagall for permission. Those are spells for the first few weeks, making sure that everyone is on the same page. Then we'll move onto dealing with dark objects and battle formations and group combat spells. This - this book Moody gave me, you can see how Moody plans group operations to best protect a group, it's quite brilliant," he said, touching a book near his feet.

He looked back at Ron. "What are you up to?" he asked pleasantly, wanting nothing more than to be left alone suddently, crawl deep between the lines in these books that made it seem like evil could truly be defeated and forget the rest of the world.

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[info]spidersbegone
2008-02-27 02:25 am UTC (link)
"I'm wondering why the bloody hell you're pretending to be so cheerful and happy when clearly you're not." Ron answered immediately after being asked by Harry. He was done beating around the bush. He was blunt, he'd always been blunt and he was told on several occasions that he was. He wasn't about to stop now.

"There's no need to put on that fake happy smile shite with me, Harry." Ron told him, shoving aside some of the parchments and sitting on the end of Harry's bed, leaning his back against one of the posts. "Ginny told me about your row and she told me that you didn't sleep. Go on, then. Vent. It'll make you feel better."

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[info]hjpotter
2008-02-27 02:30 am UTC (link)
Harry narrowed his eyes. She tattled on me? How could she. I'm fine. I'm fine, nothing that won't go away if I just ignore it. I have - things to do, I'm doing everything, I'm - "I'm fine," he said out loud, stubbornly grabbing Lupin's book and opening it again. "I'm working hard to get the DA back up. I'm dreadfully sorry that Miss Nosy Parker Weasley narced on me, but I'm. Fine. Can't a bloke just not sleep well?" he shot back.

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[info]spidersbegone
2008-02-27 02:35 am UTC (link)
"Oi, no need to get snippy! Geez, you're more like my sister than I thought." He told Harry, looking at him. "She didn't tattle, because I know that's what you're thinking. She was short with me and when I asked why she told me she was grumpy because you'd had a row about the sleeping thing. No need to get mad at her or anything, yeah?" He fiddled with a bit of the material of the bedspread, wondering how to get Harry to not be mad and just talk.

"Look, I came up here because I felt like lately I haven't been much of a friend and I figured the least I go do was listen if you wanted to talk about whatever happened." He shrugged slightly, feeling some things he hadn't really thought of before. "You used to tell me everything and now it's Ginny you tell everything to so I thought maybe this one time I could help." He avoided Harry's eyes, not wanting to look at him after that admission. He didn't even know where it came from but it was true.

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[info]hjpotter
2008-02-27 02:42 am UTC (link)
Well that's true. I do turn to Ginny more. Harry sighed, shutting the book and rubbing at his eyes again. He touched his scar briefly and then licked his lips. So. Do I tell the truth? This is Ron, he's saved my life. He's my best mate. But still. I don't know. Now it sounds like I've abadoned him for a girl, and I feel like a wanker and - "Your sister, she doesn't let up," Harry said with a weak smile. "I don't tell her everything, but - I tell her a lot," he allowed. "I see her so much, she won't let things go, and then we fight until I'm too tired to - "

Harry sighed. "It's not you Ron. You're still my best mate, I just - things have been going great for you, I didn't want to - worry you. I just can't sleep sometimes, that's all."

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[info]spidersbegone
2008-02-27 02:47 am UTC (link)
"I don't care if I've been bloody asked to join the Chudley Cannons, if I'm still your best mate then I shouldn't have to barge in on you to find out what's going on. I don't care how well things are or how happy I seem to be, it doesn't matter because I'll still sodding care." There was a bit of force to his voice, making it perfectly clear. It hurt enough to know he'd, after years of being the front runner, been pushed to the back burner but to have Harry think it was the right thing was even worse.

"Sod worrying me! I worry more when you don't say anything." He said with a sigh, rubbing his face with a hand and then running that same hand through his hair. "Why haven't you been sleeping? I feel bad enough that I haven't noticed."

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[info]hjpotter
2008-02-27 02:56 am UTC (link)
Harry pulled his glasses off, and Ron instantly became a blur, a red-topped blur that hovered in front of him. Not seeing Ron somehow made it easier; he didn't have to see the hurt and upset and the lines of almost betrayal that seemed etched near Ron's eyes. Look at what I've done now. It never ends. I don't know how to be normal, not even with him.

Harry rubbed his face again, and for a moment his face showed exactly how exhausted he was, the mental cinderblocks that were weighing on him and never lifted for long enough to let him up for air. He stared at Ron for that moment, completely naked to the core, and then pulled that back to be merely bemused as he shrugged. "You and Hermione, you're fine," Harry said in a hoarse voice, looking down at the blurred knot of his hands. "You're fine and I - I just can't let it go, can I. I have nightmares about what happened sometimes. It's just hard to let it all go."

He let out a rueful laugh. "Ron? I've been sneaking out for years at night, starting our first year, and you've never noticed. Don't feel bad."

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[info]spidersbegone
2008-02-27 03:18 am UTC (link)
It was Ron's turn to let out a rueful laugh. "Fine?" He asked, looking over at Harry. "I'm not fine, Harry. I have nightmares too. Bad ones. They don't happen as often anymore, not very frequently but they still happen and when they do they're bad. I sometimes cast a silencing charm so no one hears if I think I might have one. I have nightmares where you and Hermione die. Where Ginny dies too. No one even knows about it because I don't tell anyone. You've got enough to deal with and so does Hermione and Ginny." He looked down at his hands, fiddling with his fingers.

"I'm also kind of claustrophobic now, did you know that?" He asked, looking up at Harry again. "I can't be in enclosed, dark spaces. This hasn't come up, no one's seen it happen because I avoid places like that like the plague." He was being brutally honest but only because he needed to be. "You're not the only one who's been affected but if we don't talk to each other and help then who have we got?"

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[info]hjpotter
2008-02-27 03:22 am UTC (link)
Harry gazed at him for a moment. "But you're pretty much - better?" he asked hesitantly. "You've gotten better?"

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[info]spidersbegone
2008-02-27 03:28 am UTC (link)
"Yeah, I've gotten better, sure. But that doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt sometimes." He sighed a bit, looking at his hands for a moment and wondering where all this confession and heart-to-heart talking was coming from but he suspected they both needed it.

"But yes, it's a lot better than it was right after the war." Ron answered, looking at Harry and wondering what he was getting at.

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[info]hjpotter
2008-02-27 03:32 am UTC (link)
Ron's gotten better. If Ron had problems, I bet a lot of others did. But - I'm the one that can't - that can't let go.

And it's all my fault, isn't it. That he suffered. If Hermione and Ginny suffered. Maybe I could have done something to head Voldemort off and -


Harry nodded. "I'm glad," he said to cut off his thoughts, looking at the smudgy lines of his best mate. "I'm glad that you're better." Why can't I be normal too.

He shrugged. "Your sister, she's like your mum. She just wants to fix it all so bad."

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[info]spidersbegone
2008-02-27 03:39 am UTC (link)
"She's just worried, Harry." Ron said seriously, looking at Harry. "We all are. I've been trying to get her to lay off... telling her to just give you time, yeah? But I'm starting to worry now too." It wasn't often Ron was this open and honest but when it came to his best friend and the fact that he wasn't doing well, honesty was just fine.

"We've all been affected but none of us blame you. If there's one person to blame is fucking Voldemort, Tom Riddle, whatever the hell you wanna call him. But he's dead and gone now... thanks to you." Ron said sincerely. "You can't keep dwelling on everything."

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[info]hjpotter
2008-02-27 03:46 am UTC (link)
"You don't need to worry," Harry said quickly. "I mean, if Ginny can get better and you can get better, I can too, I just need time," he said desperately, praying that they would just drop it. Harry could fix it, he could, he could make himself normal. Just like they were normal now, he could be, too. Couldn't he?

What was wrong with him that he couldn't do it like they could?

Harry sighed. "It's just taking me a little bit longer. I'll be okay, I promise. It's just slow." He gave a sheepish smile. "I guess I'm pretty high maintenence."

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[info]spidersbegone
2008-02-27 03:57 am UTC (link)
It was after that last statement of Harry's that Ron, without warning, burst out laughing, feeling like he needed it. He laughed for a few minutes, feeling it as a bit of release. He felt kind of like a weight had been lifted and after he finished laughing, he just grinned at Harry.

"I think I needed that." He said smiling slightly. "Listen, if you need it I'm here, Hermione's there, so's Ginny. But," He began smiling again, "if you want someone who won't nag and be girly... then I suggest you pick me."

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[info]hjpotter
2008-02-27 04:02 am UTC (link)
"Yeah but your sister means snogging," Harry said without thinking. He had the good grace to wince and then laughed himself. "Sorry mate. Kinda forgot there. But - c'mon it does make it pretty nice to talk to her. When she's not pretending she's your mum." Or already married to Harry, which deep down, he had to admit he loved.

"But thanks mate," Harry said, grinning at Ron. He resolved, though, that he would be able to fix himself on his own. If Ron could get over it? So could Harry. He just had to try harder to make it normal. He leaned forward and gave Ron the quintessential male hug, the heart slap on the back combined with the clasping of hands. "Thanks, Ron."

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[info]spidersbegone
2008-02-27 04:07 am UTC (link)
"Oi, didn't need to hear that." Ron said, scrunching up his face. "Remind me to pay you back one day for that by describing Hermione and my snogs!" He grinned, warning Harry that no more details should be shared.

"Anytime, Harry." Ron said sincerely as they hugged, doing it the manly way but still holding on for a few seconds. No matter how high maintance Harry was or how girly it would be to say it out loud, Harry was Ron's best friend and he loved him.

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[info]hjpotter
2008-02-27 04:18 am UTC (link)
"Let's just call a truce," Harry laughed after they had pulled away. "And vow to never go on a double date where everyone dissolves into snogging. Ever."

Harry let out a sigh, feeling a bit shored up. For a moment, with all of this honesty, he felt the urge to tell Ron about his patrols that he did when Ginny didn't sleep in his bed. Sod it, he nearly told Ron that Ginny slept in his bed most nights. But he felt like he might upset Ron all over again with the first and well -

Ron might deck him over the second still. Maybe later.

He gestured to the parchments. "Didja want to help? Tell me if you think I've missed some basic spells for the first few meetings?"

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[info]spidersbegone
2008-02-27 04:23 am UTC (link)
"Truce, yeah, that sounds good." Ron said, smiling and running a hand through his hair, messing it up in the process.

"Yeah?" He asked, when Harry asked for his help on it. Harry had always been the leader of the D.A. handling it all on his own. "You sure? I'm not exactly Hermione." He said with a shrug, not wanting to mess things up. "This is your thing."

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[info]hjpotter
2008-02-27 04:33 am UTC (link)
"Well yeah, but you know how it is. I just need someone to double check me," Harry said matter-of-factly. "Ginny's just gobsmacked with Transfigurations and she's had to hear me talk about it so much? It'll be good to get some fresh eyes. I might have missed something," he pointed out; "or just said it out loud and forgotten to write it down.

He handed Ron the sheet with what he had planned on the first day as a review. "I had missed Accio at first on this. Can you believe it?" he laughed, shaking his head.

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[info]spidersbegone
2008-02-27 04:40 am UTC (link)
Ron grinned and took the parchment from Harry. "Yeah, alright, sure." He said happily, reading it over and wondering if there were any spells he could add to the list.

"Hey, mate? What about Episkey?" He asked. "For healing minor injuries and all that. Came in handy for us." He shrugged, not sure if his suggestion was a good one.

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[info]hjpotter
2008-02-27 04:44 am UTC (link)
Harry snapped his fingers and grabbed a scroll near his knee. "Good. Good. That's perfect for dealing with the practicalities of battle. Oh! Maybe we could do a thing where the Healing Club comes in and teaches us a few of the spells that we need, since you know, one of the most important things you need is to band allies together," Harry said, almost directly quoting Moody as he jotted down Ron's idea. "Good one mate."

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[info]spidersbegone
2008-02-27 04:47 am UTC (link)
"Yeah, that's a good idea. Mention it to Booth, would you?" He said, looking over the list of spells and trying to think of any more they might use.

"Confringo?" Ron asked, looking at Harry again. "It like shatters stuff right? Hermione's used it."

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[info]hjpotter
2008-02-27 04:50 am UTC (link)
"I will," Harry promised, writing that down too. "Oh I have that for advanced spells," Harry told Ron. "Snape taught me something that adds on that, how to direct what you shatter at a target," he said as if something like that wasn't very noteworthy at all.

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[info]spidersbegone
2008-02-27 04:52 am UTC (link)
"Brilliant." Ron said simply, reaching for more parchments and reading over them. He was glad all the drama was behind them and they could just be best mates. Really, it was all he needed.

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