NAME: Mona Meredith Mumps.
YEAR & HOUSE: Thirteenth year, Slytherin.
NICKNAMES: I'm afraid it's Miss Mumps, or detention, thank you.
DATE OF BIRTH: April 3rd.
PLACE OF BIRTH:
SOCIAL STATUS: Just as their name might indicate, the Mumps family really are a disease on the back of society. Never quite reaching its elite, never quite managing to understand they're not particularly wanted; indeed, they've made an art-form of picking off the leftovers of the rich and famous. In all practicality, they're little more than a barely upper middle class family with the pretentiousness of blue-blooded royalty, but they won't hear any of that! Oh no, you see, because "actually, Tom Riddle was just telling me how much he admired my forthright views" Mordred Mumps will tell you, and "I was just on the phone with Narcissa Malfoy" Margaret Mumps will say. Yes, to them, and only them, the Mumps family truly are the pinnacle of English prestige and wealth-- to everyone else, they're as close to royalty as Paris Hilton.

FIRST IMPRESSION: Oh, shit.

ABHORS: Dirt! Mess! SCANDALOUS BEHAVIOUR! Flirting! Being made a mockery of! Finger foods! Contacts! Sciences! Animals!
ENJOYS: Gone with the wind! Rhett Butler! Politics! Cleanliness! Romantic novels! Romantic novels with all the inappropriate bits blacked out!
FEARS: Losing power.

PERSONALITY: A staunch conservative, Mona Mumps is on to you and your public displays of affection. It should be noted that she is also on to the hemming of your skirt being an exact quarter centimeter higher than school regulation, and don't even attempt to evade reprimand should your language become something befitting of a clandestine rogue, young man. It's not that she's interested in reliving the better parts of 'Gone with the wind' (however, she can recite entire paragraphs of the novel, should you so wish), it's simply that Mona resolutely believes in the appreciation of traditions-- and a resulting traditional way of life.

With her heightened vocabulary, and flourish in the classroom (not to mention unrequited love of post-it notes), there has always been some question in regards to Mona’s house placement; wouldn’t she do better in a place where her anal-retentive sock folding would be appreciated? However, despite her displays of quintessential Ravenclaw habits, the girl is essentially ambitious before all else. Her impressive marks are hardly the result of any natural ability in the classroom (past arguing, that is), but the simple understanding on her behalf that better grades equals a better future; this factor, however, having significantly decreased as she’s moved into her A-levels. Whereas before she was forced to MAKE herself understand what the “blithering pineapples” was occurring in Chemistry, and grimace through the “less tasteful” aspects of biology, now she is able to focus on that which she plans on utilizing in the future.

A girl of plans and schedules, Mona is hardly the type to act on whim or fancy, and literally starts to twitch when things aren’t acted out according to plan. Everything must be organized. Everything must be punctual. And everything, everything must be to her best effort. Overachieving is something of a second nature to the brunette, not because she feels a civic duty to do her best for others, but a civic duty to do the best for herself. After all, timed charts, route schedules, and a color coded visual representation of prefect patrols are needed at meetings if the prefects are going to be the best reflection of her ability as leader! And who says carrying a meter ruler to a school dance to make sure couples are keeping their personal space is dictatorial? It’s a reflection on her.

Yes, it could easily be concluded that Mona Mumps is an anal-retentive stuck in the mud.

However despite her clear need for years of relaxation exercises, there are occasioned glimmers that the girl’s like of, and placement in, leadership positions stretches beyond simple ambition. She truly believes in change, and that quality of life within any form of social status can be altered for the better. And whilst her familial and house values have instilled a definite elitism within her, she has little patience for discrimination based on this flaw. Oh, you may think all the things you will of the lower and less wealthy, but overstep the boundaries of school policy and you’ll be treated just as harshly as any other. They’re small shines of leadership potential, and often overshadowed by her persistent stuffiness, but it’s something.

INSIDE SCOOP: 1. Despite her overbearing (and somewhat eighteenth century like) stance on relations with the opposite sex, Mona is a guilty lover of romantic fiction. Gone with the wind? Her favorite book and movie combination. She’s a furtive romantic at heart, though still blacks out the “scandalous” sections of the books she so adores to read; the details of such things horrify her, but non-biological aspects appeal greatly to her strong sense of traditionalism.

2. When feeling particularly “rebellious”, the girl enjoys editing the David Lloyd-George articles to be found on the internet, inserting subtle comments, such as: “Liberal party prime minister, 1916-1922, was David Lloyd-incompetent-George.” The following twenty-four hours to these rebellions she is always at her most paranoid.

3. She has been in secret competition with Ernest Macmillan for the past two years in terms of catching trouble-makers. I say secret, as he doesn’t know about it. But she has been known to go on particularly zealous prankster hunts following any type of interaction with the boy. And has detailed logs. Where she tallies up her numbers against his.

4. Something of a mild hypochondriac, Mona refuses to touch most sugars on the basis that “it will rot the teeth, likely form a developing mold, and finally result in the complete loss of gums as they blacken”. She has written several protests (with diagrams!) crusading against the abundance of vending machines in Britain to various political personal. All have been ignored.

ASTROLOGICAL:

AMICABLE ACQUAINTANCES: Samantha Capper, Nikolas Vaisey, Matthew Bates, Alecto Carrow, Amycus Carrow.
NOT-SO-AMICABLE ACQUAINTANCES: Anyone else, sadly.
ROMANTIC STATUS: Single. Likely permanently.
CRUSH: Rhett Butler.
TURN-ONS:
TURN-OFFS:

CLASSES:
GCSE SCORES:
FUTURE AMBITIONS: To be Prime Minister, and/or work directly with her idol, Tom Riddle.

PARENTS: Margaret (Farley) Mumps, and Mordred Mumps.
SIBLINGS: Magdalene Mumps (26); former Slytherin. Mordred Mumps jr. (23); former Hufflepuff. Melinda Mumps (11); not yet started at Hogwarts.

BACKGROUND: Never a creature of subtlety, Mordred Mumps wasted little time in informing Margaret Farley of every detail about how he shared a “close, personal friendship” with Tom Riddle, never minding the fact it was a complete and utter lie. He really just wanted to sleep with her. And as it was a blind date, figured there would be little morality in doing anything else; after all, why else would anyone go on a blind date? But having only ever managed to get this smooth tactic to work once before in his twenty-nine years, no one was more shocked than he when the girl actually did. The two somehow seemed to deserve each other. He was a hopeless name dropper, living off the fringe of the elite, and she was a hopeless name dropper, not really wanting to have to work particularly hard for a living.

Unsurprisingly, within their second month of engagement, they’d managed to collectively rise to possibly the first favorite couple to avoid of the rich and famous. They just didn’t get it. And likely never will. For whilst at the time of Mona’s birth, Mordred had secured himself a low-responsibility job with Voldemort Inc., and the family lived in relative comfortablity, it is sad to say that Mordred and Margaret are simply unpleasant people. Not particularly cruel or intentionally vicious, but remarkably ignorant social climbers. And likely always will be.

Born the third of the Mumps, and second girl, Mona has forever counted herself as lucky she was not the lone female of the four, lest face a life of “catching the man of your dreams!” a message to be subtly read as “catching the man of the family’s dreams!” no, Margaret Mumps never particularly mastered the art of subtle when it came to things of that matter. However, whilst her elder sister was dragged to tennis and various equestrian activities, “tennis is all the rage this year with the Parkinsons!”, Mona was thankfully left to her own devices following school. Oh, her mother made attempts to socialize her youngest daughter; but when one took into account her being the less charming, and less attractive, and rather a bit bossier sibling, well, it was all for the best really that she didn’t accompany her sister to tennis. Especially following the ball incident of ’88, of which the family never speaks.

Somewhat anti-social, a portrait of Mona could have defined overbearing throughout her primary school years, and if it’s possible, made the girl she is today look positively relaxed. Neurotic, bossy, a particularly loud screamer, and desperate to impress authority figures, it is safe to say that she wasn’t exactly the most popular child on the playground. And rather didn’t care. After all, her teacher thought her kind and helpful, and THAT was what mattered to the girl, especially when she began the delightful habit of looking up the most difficult words she could possibly find and shouting them in class in order to show off how good a student she was.

Sorted into a surprising Slytherin upon her arrival to Hogwarts, there’s little doubt that arriving second to her sister (reputed close to one of the easiest girls Hogwarts had seen that decade) had definite influence upon Mona. She was hardly her sister, and whilst she may have been as socially stumped as the entire Mumps clan, the brunette felt completely justified that one decidedly didn’t require a large gang of friends to be successful; no, all one needed was just a small amount of authority.

APPEARANCE: For Mona Mumps, it's all about practicality. Hair is a particular burden left down, therefore it's always worn up. Contact lenses are not only a haven for disease, but are finicky, therefore she'll wear glasses. Make-up is troublesome, therefore a clean face is a preferable option. And so on does the process go, until Mona has perfected her morning routine to a simple scrub of her face, basic hygiene, and careful examination to confirm her appearance is neat enough to carry on the duties as Head Girl and representative of Hogwarts College. Barely standing at an unimpressive 5'2", it would be a waste of ink (not to mention outright lie) to say the girl cuts an impressive figure; indeed, if it weren't for her ruthless stance on detention, it could easily be assumed she could be bowled over with a feather. And, in all honesty, probably could considering her extreme absence of muscle or remote affinity for sports.

It's not that she has no feminine charms or is a miserable hound in terms of aesthetics, she simply sees appearance as secondary to other educational duties, and believes strongly in the fact that a best first impression will be made by her immaculate uniform and almost blindingly polished shoes. Of course, it also doesn't help that her mother once described her appearance as "a work in progress, dear". In terms of stature, Mona comes off often resembling some type of bug, being on the shorter side and face overwhelmed by large spectacles-- similarly this impression is continued by her tendency towards picking clothing that can easily be described as "nun-like".