(no subject)  

Here is a list of my current diagnoses (with commentary):

ADHD- I firmly believe I was adhd as a child, and now, wish that we had found out then so that I could have been treated while I was in school.  I think school would have been much easier for me.

Bipolar Type II Rapid Cycling- There are days that rapid cycling don't cover it, and that I'm not sure if I'm bipolar or not.  I tend towards mixed states, but have enough separate highs and lows for a diagnosis.

PTSD- I'm a rape survivor, been raped twice that I was fully aware during, and used and raped repeatedly for 1-3 months (can't remember exactly how long it was)

Generalized Anxiety Disorder- This, I think, is related to the ptsd

Clinical depression on top of the bipolar- This goes towards the fact I think my bipolar is mixed episodes most of the time, because even when I go manic, I'm still depressed.  Just when I go manic, I'm more likely to lose the impulse control that keeps me from attempting suicide.

Non-specific Dissociative Disorder (non-specific only because my "friends" have not made an appearance in my therapist's office*I* know I'm DID, my husband knows it, many of my friends know it, but my alters have yet to come out in therapy, so I don't have a formal diagnosis of it.  HOWEVER, my therapist says it is very likely that I have it, because we have discussed my history as well as the fact I have a number of the "symptoms" of did.

Complicated Migraine Headaches (my migraines mimic the symptoms of a stroke)- These are murder.  I've had migraines for years, but these are particularly frightening, due to their symptoms mimicing a stroke.  Not pleasant.

Endometriosis- I am in major pain from below my ribs to my pelvic region for about 3 weeks a month, and that fourth week is not always in continuous days.

Mild arthritis in my knees- I've had knee pain for as long as I can remember.  It's one of the two pains I get that I can't just ignore and live with.  If my knees hurt, I'm sitting on my ass/laying in bed whining because it hurts.


Asthma- Runs in my family.  I've been asthmatic pretty much from birth, but it was very mild when I was a child.  Got significantly worse while I was in the Navy.

Fibromyalgia- My most recent diagnosis, after about two-three years of trying to figure out exactly what is wrong with me.  I've been having problems with chronic pain all over my body, fatigue (to the point I was honestly beginning to wonder if what was wrong with me was simply chronic fatigue syndrome), issues with sleep (I've had those since I was a teenager), mental processing issues (those go along with the adhd, but worse at times, they come and go), and the alternating loose bowels and constipation of IBS or Irritable Bowel Syndrome.  Throw in the TMJ I was diagnosed with about 2 years ago, and you have most of the symptoms for fibro.

Patella-Femoral Pain Syndrome- This goes along with the arthritis in my knees, it contributes to my knee pain, actually, it's MOST of my knee pain.

Reflux-This contributes to my asthma.  It started in the last few years.

Now, add to that periodic OCD-type and agoraphobic symptoms, and you have one pretty fucked up person.  But, I am functioning, despite all this.  Some days are better than others, and I truly suck when I'm stressed.  I don't function well at all when I'm stressed out.

Well, this is me.  Do with this what you will.

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Day Passes  
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The Insanity That is Me
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October 2008  

I'm a 30 year old bisexual wife and mom of three kids. I'm a survivor of rape, incest and domestic violence. I write because it's freeing. It's usually useless boring stuff about my boring life, but it's my therapy. I hold NOTHING back in my journals, so if you read this, you will know me, and my most intimate thoughts.

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