outing myself, i don't care
you know ... i love my character. and i love writing my character and she's a collaboration? (i don't even know if that's the world i'm looking for) of all these amazing women who write their blogs and update people on their lives and they're all public blogs. half of these women aren't even people i know IRL, they're just women that i admire from afar and i've tried to model her after them ... but i guess it's time to stop because it's always feeling like i'm doing something wrong. this is totally ME ooc and not HER ic so please don't take it that way. i just hate this feeling i get playing her now and i'm not going to drop her because i love her too much, but i guess i'm just going to have to pull her back. it seems to be what everyone's wanting and i can't keep playing with this feeling in the pit of my stomach so i'd rather just go back to how she was a few months ago, before she got so .. i don't know. whatever it is she is now, but back when people actually talked to her and seemed to enjoy talking to her and see if that makes things better. because i love this place and i love the characters and i love the people she's friends with. i just hate the way I feel.
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