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Another post. Sorry.
Dearest Vee,


I'm sorry for the hurtful words. It's hard. It really is, seeing you go and all. It's difficult having nobody else here. When you don't call. You promise me things, and they don't happen. A million things. I'm just left crying.

I know it's not how things are, but it's how things seem... I needed to vent. I'm filled with "you're-just-not-good-enough"s. Not for a girlfriend. Not for myspace. Not for trusting. Not for friendship. Not for a million mundayne things that shouldn't matter, but they all add up and it fucking hurts.

I'm sorry you're 'alone' but you're not. You're not. You know that. Things are "difficult"... not hard per se and you're not going it alone. You have people in all different states that love and care about you. Please realize this.

I'm moving to Pluto. No, this isn't self-pity or deprication. It's reality baby and it's making me want to die. I used to be a ruthless optimist. That light is gone.

I got my lightning today. Now I wish I never wished for it to begin with... it's not even stormy here- just a strange 60 degree January with too much chaos in the air that electricity just has to happen to ease the tension.

It's not your fault things are hard, but i've been thinking about my past and I have a lot of regrets. With that comes resentment and this whole circle I'm learning to break but i'm finally dealing with and I think that's good.

I just really hope we can actually be friends some day. You'll mean it... i'll mean it.