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Kankuro 5
If he's ever scheduled to work security at night when things are quiet and he's basically alone, he might sneak onto an empty set in front of the cameras and put on a little show for himself.

And he's a total virgin. Never even been kissed. It's partly because he's not the prettiest Sabaku by far, and he's been kind of gruff and lonerish his whole life. And it's also because he has no idea what sex or love is supposed to be like, so he's afraid he'll fuck it up (like, in a bad way) or won't be able to perform. It may also have to do with being a little sexually confused too; guys aren't supposed to get hard-ons from thinking about or seeing other guys but sometimes it happens to Kankuro. He insists he's not gay though. He likes girls just fine damn it. As long as they're brash and headstrong and could probably kick his ass.

Sample Post:

First Person

I can't believe Michael Jackson's dead. He was my idol man. Like, him and Freddy Mercury were the best singers I ever heard and now they're both gone. Unfuckinbelievable. Careful with the pills guys, they think that's what did him in. I heard even Tylenol is bad for you now. What the hell.

Fuck all the people who call Michael a child raper and shit and the ones who say Freddy got AIDS cause he was gay. It's all lies. Well except the gay thing, I guess if you sleep with dudes you're probably gay. But bein gay doesn't give you AIDS. Girls get that shit too. The more you know.

Anyway I'm holdin a memorial thing out back in the parking lot later tonight after work if any of you wanna come. Bringin my guitar and I'm gonna sing some tribute songs, and there'll be soda and chips and if any of you wanna bring something that'd be awesome. Bring your lighters too. We'll cry manly tears together, and sing and dance and grab crotches. But not each others. Just, you know, our own. For Michael. I don't think he was gay like Freddy; he just liked to touch himself. That's cool, I like to touch myself too. Who doesn't?

I love you, Michael! Youuu are not alone!