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feelgoodmods (feelgoodmods) wrote, @ 2009-06-03 14:25:00

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Re: Sasuke App. Part III. shukumei 2009-06-18 05:19 am UTC (link)

Once Sasuke was brought to America, the entire social support network he’d once had dissolved. America in general is an independent country, and Sasuke soon learned that he had to take care of himself without expecting anyone to guide him – especially when it came to his emotional and psychological needs. He developed a hard shell to protect himself, at first trying to blend in with the background. Whenever this didn’t work, and older children – or adults – attempted to pick on him or scapegoat him, Sasuke quickly changed his perspective and became mean and violent in order to keep himself from being outcasted in his environment. Given as he was already seen as much of an outsider (not even being able to speak English for awhile until he actively learned), this method of putting himself in the middle of things seemed to work better, at least gaining him the attention and respect of many of the other children he spent most of his time with. He soon learned that in his new situation, the way to get noticed was to assert yourself, not cooperate and demure to your elders. It also took him awhile to learn that asserting himself would get him mixed responses; negative and positive. Even so, with adults, Sasuke was never treated as an equal. Even as he grew older, in the age where most teenagers would start to be given freedom and independence by their parents, Sasuke was kept on a tight leash and always treated like a child. He was disallowed to do anything of substance without permission. His pimp in particular bought him everything he either needed or requested, though half the time it was with the money Sasuke “earned” anyway. Because he was always scrutinized and kept watch over, never able to make his own choices, Sasuke couldn’t mature naturally like most of his peers. The older he grew, the less able he was in interacting socially with anyone his age on the outside (when he was, eventually, allowed to go out on his own). It didn’t help that he’d never been educated, and the most he knew was what he’d actively sought to learn himself (online and books, for the most part). He was either painfully silent and avoidant, or charged in with too much hostility, and while these coping responses worked in his world, they didn’t work in the outside world, that knew nothing of the dysfunction of his home. Because of this, Sasuke is often childish in that he will perceive things said (or unsaid) about him negatively and react instantly with hostility, unable to temper his emotions in that way. He’s also very selfish at times (excluding his interaction with younger children), because despite being used and abused, pretty much anything he asked for he was given by his pimp (usually within reason, since he never had the idea to ask for something like a car, which is hugely foreign to him to this day), whom still takes care of his material needs that go beyond simple things Sasuke can buy himself, like clothes and food. He often seeks instant gratification, and when he cannot have it, becomes frustrated and annoyed easily. His patience wears thin fast, especially for things he doesn’t understand or other people who get on his nerves. He doesn’t seem to understand it’s a two-way street, and mostly only thinks about himself. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Sasuke App. Part V. (woops) shukumei 2009-06-18 05:20 am UTC (link)

Despite all the ego-centricity, Sasuke does have a soft spot for young children, or others like him who are in emotional pain or who have been through trauma. In most of the households he was “raised” in, the actual foster parents were abusers themselves, and often didn’t do any kind of real raising, leaving many of the children broken and lost without a single figure to attach to or trust. Perhaps because of his background, Sasuke took on the parenting role in many circumstances, going beyond what the older children were required to do to take care of the younger (because they were often forced to be the ones to feed, bathe, clothe, etc. the other kids), and tried to comfort and reassure them. At first, he tried to protect them from sexual abuse as well, but quickly found out he was both overpowered and outnumbered, and it wasn’t an option. When it became clear to him there was no escaping it, he tried other coping methods, such as pretend play and taking the children out of the house on walks to the park or the movies. He requested many toys, and kept the house clean, almost as if trying to feign something natural and well-adjusted. But it was just a fantasy, and he himself often realized this. Despite giving as much support to the other children as he could, Sasuke never had any support for himself, which sunk him lower and lower into a depression, and eventually just made him lash out or withdraw more and more with other people. Still, Sasuke likes to take care of people, which is not necessarily a good thing, as it is easy to take advantage of him in this way. One last important detail is Sasuke’s relationship with his pimp. It’s the closest he’s ever come to a real relationship, and it’s extremely maladjusted. Sasuke hated him at first (obviously), but over the years grew dependent on him for everything – which was exactly what the man manipulated him to do. At first, he stayed close to Sasuke, often being the only one Sasuke could talk to (being that he could speak Japanese), and was never mean to the boy, using only the necessary amount of force or threat to get Sasuke to become pliant in what he wanted him to do. He also bought him many gifts, taught him how to use things like ipods, computers, TVs, etc. – technological things Sasuke had never seen or had before. He started sleeping with Sasuke when he was around 13, but stopped abruptly after Sasuke turned 15 (the boy was too old for him). All of this, coupled with toying with Sasuke’s emotions (and doing it with full intent), led to a convoluted relationship similar to Stockholm Syndrome on Sasuke’s part. As Sasuke started venturing past the 17 age mark, the man seemed to just forget about him entirely, only showing up to make sure he was in line and doing what he wanted, and see if he needed anything. Naturally, the entire experience was devastating to Sasuke – perhaps more devastating than the child porn itself, and to this day he has a deep hatred of adults. Anyone 25 years or older is the target audience for his hatred, and he wants absolutely nothing to do with them. In fact, if anyone in that age range so much as seemed to hit on him, Sasuke would probably become physically nauseous and repulsed, and leave the situation entirely. On-screen sex, of course, is different, since he has been bred and conditioned to be obedient in any and all of those situations. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Sasuke App. Part VI. shukumei 2009-06-18 05:21 am UTC (link)

Sample Post: First Person [Private.] I went into town today to see a Japanese movie. They don’t usually show foreign movies, and I had nothing to do. I don’t remember what it was about, because I didn’t really watch it. I wanted to see if I could still understand any of it, but they paired it with subtitles in English and I was distracted, so I closed my eyes and listened. It was too fast. I could catch a few things, some phrases or words that were familiar, but nothing else. It’s been … seven years, with no one to talk to in that language, so I guess it’s not that surprising. I can still remember a few conversations in my head in Japanese, though, which is why it’s so strange to me that I’ve forgotten it all. I could probably just refresh, but … there’s no point. It’s not like I’m ever going to go back. Or find him. I still think about him, but not as much. He’s probably dead, for all I know. Either way, he’s lost. I still remember the name of our home, though. Maybe one day I’ll go back. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Sasuke App. Part VII. shukumei 2009-06-18 05:23 am UTC (link)

Third Person Sasuke hates this place. It has the stale sex smell of whoever was in there before them. Why they always choose this motel is beyond him. Maybe it’s some sort of child porn ring set-up, with even the front desk clerk in on it. He wouldn’t doubt it, that guy’s really shady. Sasuke’s been coming here with different guys since he was fourteen, and the guy hasn’t said a word. He’s either blind, or he doesn’t care. Sasuke has yet to meet anyone who even gives him a suspicious look, though, so he’s starting to think Americans in general don’t care. If it wasn’t for the constant press and rampant legal attacks on the subject, he would really believe they’re all child molesters. The guy is setting up the camera, some dinky home video thing, and Sasuke sits on the edge of the springy mattress with the cheap, paisley comforter and waits, hands in his lap and shoulders slightly slouched. He’s just turned sixteen today, so it’s prime time for a movie. Of course, he could lie about turning that age any day, but he guesses some of the guys get a kick out of the realism. So instead of having birthday cake and a party, he’s going to strip naked and have sex with this guy – who looks to be about forty, forty-five. He’s not thin, not fat; just an average guy. Sasuke hopes he’s not hairy. The hairy ones make him want to throw up. Come to think of it, he’s never had a birthday party. Maybe too much trouble for the adults. Encourages the neighbors to come over, and if there’s anything the adults don’t like, it’s the pesky neighbors. He’s had cake, though. Pretty much every birthday he can remember. Not on the actual day, and maybe not even a week or two after it, but eventually Max comes with cake – or cupcakes – in hand and passes them out to all the kids. Sasuke’s getting too old for this cake thing, but he still waits and hopes every year that the bastard won’t forget. He knows the year he does spells something really bad. He recognizes this pathetic need for acknowledgement, but can’t shake it anyway. He doesn’t realize the camera is on and rolling until the guy is asking questions. “So, today’s your birthday.” Sasuke keeps himself from rolling his eyes at the opener. “Yeah.” “How old are you?” “Sixteen.” “What’s your sign?” The man smirks. Sasuke furrows his brows, not sure what that means. The guy chuckles. “You know. Libra, Scorpio, that sort of thing. … Nevermind,” he finishes, when Sasuke just stares blankly. “Go ahead and take off your shirt.” Sasuke complies, slipping off the black sweatshirt over his head, tossing it aside. “I notice you’ve got a couple piercings in your ear. Any others? Any tats?” Sasuke sticks his tongue out to show off the black and red koosh barbell, closing his mouth after. “It vibrates,” he says, shooting a well-placed smirk at the camera. The guy’s eyes light up like it’s Christmas. “Hot. We’re going to make good use of that later.” As the guy tells him to take off his clothes, and then start touching himself, Sasuke complies, guessing what little bit of conversation they had was over. He lies back on the bed, staring at the ceiling (the camera’s not going to be on his face, anyway), and places himself somewhere else like always, thinking about birthdays and getting older, the possibility of outgrowing this market. He’s had a dream that when he turns eighteen everything will change, and he can take all the money he’s made in this dirty business and somehow become a citizen and live as a real person in the U.S. He’s already researched it, he knows it’s unlikely, but going back to Japan seems even scarier now. The place isn’t home to him anymore. Then again, nowhere is. If he’s lucky, this will be the only guy he has to deal with today. Then maybe he can take the younger kids out to the playground at the park. If it doesn’t rain. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	ACCEPTED!! feelgoodmods 2009-06-18 01:51 pm UTC (link)
	That's naughty. (Reply to this)(Parent)

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