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I saw that... :|

1. "She'd be so much hotter if she didn't talk." EXACT THOUGHTS. Every time she seems to be having a good moment she just has to open her mouth and... Honestly? He does like her. He likes that she conspires with him in a way no one else will. She's a cool chick and all and he can see himself having fun tiemz with her. If only she wasn't so vain. He just can't ignore that and eyerolls... s-so hard when she starts up. Eyeroll/Facepalm/SIGH moments are common.

She's also an amazing actress. He will never tell her that. But she is. SHE TOTALLY IS. She's also H. A. W. T ~HOT~ which leads us to the next question...

2. As in ALREADY HAPPENED or SHOULD HAPPEN? Because if it ALREADY HAPPENED that would be brilliant. Maybe not even drunk. Just line practicing and things went too far? idek we should plot that. If I do the drunken night shtick too many times it'll get boring. lD

But. But I'm serious. I would love that. Because how much blackmail could possibly be in that? I kind of love you for bringing it up. Here. Get on my lap. You're allowed now. ♥

3. Yes.

Yes.

YES.

However, Ino is more than free to check. As long as she shares the love.

4. GDIT I THOUGHT I WAS GETTING LUCKY JKFHJDHJKHDKF-

5. My mother is dead. ;A;

6. Jeeze... UH. Crap. He has a lot of them. Not keeping in touch with friends or not watering his plants and letting them die when he became too busy to care... Drinking that bad milk. At the moment, though? It has to be the one night stand with Neji. NOT SAYING HE HATES IT. Just that he can't do awkward. He hates awkward and he hates not being able to control a situation. As oblivious as he is he does indeed like to know what someone is thinking. It makes planning his next move so much easier.

But right now Neji isn't saying anything about it and Naruto DEFINITELY isn't saying anything. So things are awkward and he doesn't know what the right thing to say or do is.

Ultimately it's his hugest FML moment right now. And it's Neji's fault.

7. ... You force me to abuse my creative energy here. I've never given it much thought.

So if I have to go out on a limb? Hm...

Once upon a time he met a daughter of a Lutheran man. A kind girl who was pure. Like Holy Water. Eyes that had never seen the light of naughty day. Naruto had thought he made a good choice. She was such a beautiful, untouched thing that he could marry. Have children with. Settle down. You know, all that happy movie bullshit that everyone goes on about.

They had been dating for a month. It was a very dry month. He thought better of it and didn't touch the subject until said 'angel' gave him the heads up that now was the time. After all the chivalry and dancing around the subject he would finally be rewarded.

He just didn't know it would be with black sheets, candle wax... and her twelve inch strap on.

... Does it still count for sexual experience if he ran out of her apartment naked and screaming?