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Eli:

3. Who are/were your parents?

Areslashwere? Well I don't know what they were before I was born or anything. For all I know, my mother was a beatnik chick who sat around in coffee shops reading poetry in nothing but culottes and long ironed black hair. I don't want to think about that anymore. Anyway. Who they are, I know, unless we're getting metaphysical or some nanabullshit like that, which my mother would totally love, and so I'm not doing that.

My mother's name is Charlotte. She's a psychiatrist and she really likes wearing white suits and light colors. I think it makes her look kind of icy, but maybe that's the point. She's not exactly a mom sort of person. I could never imagine snuggling up to her or anything like that. Ever. She does well enough though, I guess. She has her good points.

My dad's name is Henry. He's a real estate tycoon, and I'm not using that term loosely. I don't really remember much of him from my childhood because he worked most of the time. These days I only go home for holidays or whatever, so I guess that's long enough for him to come out and eat dinner with us. Sometimes he tries to be my friend and honestly it kind of terrifies me.


86. What is your greatest weakness?

Well, that depends on what you're talking about. Tall guys, apparently. Johnny Cash. Nice suits. Nachos. Cinnamon bears. Pot. I guess... I mean I guess if I'm like, totally fucking honest... love. Shut up.


54. Who is the most important person in your life, and why?

What the fuck kind of bullshit question is that? Why does there have to be, like, one most important person? Why can't there be two? Are you fucking kidding me? Bullshit. If I just have to pick one, I'm not answering because somehow it's going to get back to them and then it will only stir up more shit and NO THANK YOU.


35. When was the time you were the most frightened?

Honestly, I think it was when I walked in and Nico was bleeding to death on the floor. I totally thought he was going to die right there before the ambulance got there. I seriously think that scared me even more than when I found out I only had thirty days to live. How fucked up is that?


63. Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why?

Obviously. They already have. Tennessee's the first line of defense, Nico's got his back. No doubt about it.


96. If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left.

Based on previous experience, I would sit around, drink beer, look at pictures, and cry like a bitch. You'd probably do the same.


38. What is your best memory?

Shoot. Just one? What is this "just one" bullshit? Um. Shoot. Okay, I'm going to go with Valentine's day. The ring.


69. Do you care what others think of you?

If anyone says they don't, they're a goddamn liar.


7. Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks.

Um. Kay. Well, I'm just shy of six feet, about 155. I'm white. Caucasian. Whatever. I've got these annoying-ass freckles. I've got dirty-blonde hair that's really curly most of the time, and kind of gray-blue eyes. I hate shoes. I love hoodies and shorts. Ummm. No tattoos, because I haven't thought of anything I want to permanently stain my body with yet. I have scars from various surgeries and other stuff. I guess that's it. I'm sure as fuck hotter than you, though.


65. Who is the person you despise the most, and why?

Gabriel Fucking Rossetti because he's the lowest, sleaziest motherfucker who ever crawled around this earth, and if he ever lays a hand on Tennessee again, I'm going to have my lawyers on him faster than he can say cannelloni.