Once upon a time...in a land far, far away...
Dawn broke through Jenny's window with all the subtly of a battering ram. She covered her head with her pillow to block the light and for the first time noticed the noise. What was that? It sounded like...birds? Birds on steroids.

Snarling mumbled threats, she threw the pillow aside to get up and close the drapes when she noticed a few things.

One - she wasn't in her bed. She wasn't in a bed at all. She was in a forest dressed like bloody Cinderella running from the ball.

Two - the sun was dawning relentlessly through the trees and those birds were grouped on branches in twos and threes, dementedly singing their little birdbrains out.

Three - she appeared to be alone. If there was a God, this would be a nightmare and she could wake up any second now.

Right?