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[004]
Today I was in the mood to waste some time and money, so I went to the mall to do so. After blowing thirty dollars on a pair of jeans, I ran into some girls I had geography class with last year. Stacy, Kimmy and some other -y named girl. They asked me how my summer was going, and simply because I was in a good mood I decided not to just completely ignore them. That was my first mistake.

After about five minutes of an entirely awkward conversation, Stacy asked me what I planned on doing with my life. I just sort of paused, giving Kimmy the chance to jump in with, "HAVE YOU FOUND JESUS?" Uh, sorry, but I didn't know he was lost. I told them that my parents weren't really big on church, and neither are my aunt and uncle. (Mistake #2: Supposedly it's up to me to find my own salvation through Jesus.) Somehow within a matter of seconds, it progressed into them inviting me on a mission trip to someplace in Central America at the end of this month... Me being the awesome person I am told them that I couldn't, because I had to help my aunt make preparations to sacrifice her unborn child around that time frame. I found that hilarious, but the -Y's really didn't.

Uncle John, supposedly I should look into going to church because I'm a heathen. I've got it on good word that I come from a "Pagan household filled with idolaters" and that you could benefit from Christ's love, too. Just thought you should know.

Aunt Sarah, sorry the zygote had to be brought into this.