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Dear mom,

So... you decided to go through my history. You decided to get curious. And you ended up hurt... I'll be honest, I don't even REMEMBER where I said what you quoted to me. Was it in an IM? An email? Here? I guess it doesn't matter. The fact remains that I did say it. Worse yet.... yeah, I that is how I feel sometimes. You just chose not to notice.

I just want to be happy. Is that so wrong? I'm sorry that you don't approve of the way I've handled things, but I was caught in a very tight spot. This is my only chance to go. You don't see it, but I do. If I don't leap now, I'll never leap. I need NEED to live my own life. I want to control my life and what happens in it. Is that really so bad?

I know you still see me as a kid and yeah, maybe this wasn't the best way to go about everything, but it is difficult to talk to you. Maybe you just haven't noticed how difficult it is to talk to you, but everyone feels it at times. For me it has just gotten increasingly difficult as the years have gone on. I tried to explain this to you before, but you didn't listen. You just assume you're right, that I'm wrong, and that as long as I listen to you then all will be well. Well, mom, I want to listen to myself this time.

Everyone is allowed to be happy at least once in their life, right? To find their own happiness? Well, that is what I am trying to do now. Please, I wish you understood that...

- Me