Queen of the Superficial (lovemedead) wrote,
@ 2009-06-16 00:12:00

Dear mom,

So... you decided to go through my history. You decided to get curious. And you ended up hurt... I'll be honest, I don't even REMEMBER where I said what you quoted to me. Was it in an IM? An email? Here? I guess it doesn't matter. The fact remains that I did say it. Worse yet.... yeah, I that is how I feel sometimes. You just chose not to notice.

I just want to be happy. Is that so wrong? I'm sorry that you don't approve of the way I've handled things, but I was caught in a very tight spot. This is my only chance to go. You don't see it, but I do. If I don't leap now, I'll never leap. I need NEED to live my own life. I want to control my life and what happens in it. Is that really so bad?

I know you still see me as a kid and yeah, maybe this wasn't the best way to go about everything, but it is difficult to talk to you. Maybe you just haven't noticed how difficult it is to talk to you, but everyone feels it at times. For me it has just gotten increasingly difficult as the years have gone on. I tried to explain this to you before, but you didn't listen. You just assume you're right, that I'm wrong, and that as long as I listen to you then all will be well. Well, mom, I want to listen to myself this time.

Everyone is allowed to be happy at least once in their life, right? To find their own happiness? Well, that is what I am trying to do now. Please, I wish you understood that...

- Me

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millicent_angel
2009-06-16 07:26 pm UTC (link)

Everyone has a right to their own happiness and if it comes down to it everyone has a right to their own mistakes to. True love and true parenthood comes from knowing when it's time to let your child go. Time to let them make their own choices and more often then not, their own mistakes even. It's the only way they will ever get to grow up into a strong individual.

Just let her go. And do it gracefully, not with hateful words and vindictive little jabs. This should be a moment you remember as your little girl finally going out into the world on her own. Not something you both remember as a painful occurrence when she has to escape you.

And to Kristen: Do what's in your heart. Even if things don't turn out as planned (and they don't always do) Your happiness should be the most important thing to you right now. You need to learn to listen to yourself a little closer, and others a little further. Even if it takes you down a bad road a few times, your heart will always take you where you want to go.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

	lovemedead 2009-06-17 06:24 am UTC (link)
	I do appreciate your words Lindsey. They mean a great deal to me. hugs tightly Thank you. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	sehnsucht 2009-06-16 11:37 pm UTC (link)
	Your mom and my mom should move in together, I swear. It seems to me like she can't handle reality so my advice is to just move out - take a chance for once and do something for yourself. You deserve to be happy, so try to ignore her the best way you can. Btw, maybe the new episode of True Blood will make you happy. ♥? (Reply to this)(Thread)

	lovemedead 2009-06-17 06:27 am UTC (link)
	I have been trying to, but I live in a very small house. lol OMG, the new episode of True Blood made me so happy. THEY DIDN'T KILL LAFAYETTE!!! ~~like they were suppose to, according to Charlaine Harris and Alan Ball~~ (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	driveby rezista 2009-06-17 06:33 am UTC (link)
	OHGODDAMNITSPOILERS. rawrs (Reply to this)(Parent)

rezista
2009-06-17 06:32 am UTC (link)

Imouto~

You do have every right to be happy. And your mother probably knows that...but she doesn't see this making you happy. In some screwed up part of her brain, she thinks that you are happy living with her and John and enjoy doing all the crap she forces on you.

I agree with Lindsey. You need to make your own mistakes and your mom needs to see that. I know how she may or may not feel about wanting to protect you, but the best thing you can do for someone you love is to let them do something that will let them learn. This moving gig might, for all we know, turn out to be a bad idea. Hell, moving here may have been a bad idea. What she needs to understand is that you're not abandoning her, you're starting your own adventure. If this adventure doesn't work with you the way you need it to, she needs to be there to help you--to take you back in and love you anyway if, for whatever reason, you get screwed over.

It's a hard lesson to learn, tough love. And it's especially hard to use on people you love. I am constantly forgetting that myself. Tears me up for awhile, I talk to Shawn...and in his own way, he always reminds me: "You need to let them make their own mistakes. If you try to tell them not to and they will anyway, you just have to let them. What you can do is be there for them when they need you." And what I have promised to myself, that sometimes I have a hard time doing, is that no matter what, even if I disagree, I will support you. It's not an invitation I give to many people, so you're special. Believe that. Always.

With much love and care,
Aneki

(Reply to this)(Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2009-06-18 02:35 am UTC (link)
	Wow - sounds like your mom is a serious mental case. Why have you stayed so long if she if forcing you to do things. If your mother is so terrible and forces you to do things, it sounds like you should have left a long time ago. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	lovemedead 2009-06-18 02:50 am UTC (link)
	Who are you? I would like to know because 1. I don't appreciate anon on my journal and 2. only my friends are allowed to really have an opinion on this and if you aren't my friend then I ask that you recant your words. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	lovemedead 2009-06-18 02:51 am UTC (link)
	Funny... my IP... (Reply to this)(Parent)

rezista
2009-06-18 05:31 am UTC (link)

Anon,

I don't know how much you actually know about her mother, but she doesn't, in my opinion, handle things the same way many other mothers do. While she does force

lovemedead to do things she doesn't want to do, it was honestly impossible for her to move out before now.

lovemedead doesn't like to rely on others, so the idea of staying with one of her friends makes her feel really uncomfortable (whether or not it's a problem to aforementioned friend).

She's tried to talk to her mother about the tasks that are forced on her and is responded to with a great, big, stone wall. And if you've talked to people, well...you know how difficult it is to talk to someone that won't listen. The problem, as I see it, is that her mom genuinely sees that what she is pushing on

lovemedead is good for her and something that she will enjoy. So when she hears something different, she shuts down the conversation and attributes the comments to

lovemedead's "selfish, immature attitude".

What

lovemedead is doing will prove one of two things: either that she IS mature enough to be able to make this step in her life, or that she ISN'T. The only person that can make that kind of call is

lovemedead herself. Part of growing up is making the mistakes that will teach you your boundaries. I only hope that if her moving out doesn't work for her that her mother will welcome her daughter back into her home without snide "I told you so"s and without going right back to the situation they were already in.

Needless to say, I guess my point boils down to this: Whether or not you can judge her mother to be a "serious mental case", this situation is between those two and no communication is being made because one party can't get the second to listen to their story.

With serious longwindedness,
Rezi Ta

(Reply to this)(Parent)

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