maury povich (povich) wrote,
@ 2008-01-30 17:48:00

stage, you are not the father.

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	shanimal 2008-01-31 12:50 am UTC (link)
	OH MY GOD. Please, Maury, don't bitchslap me again. I'm sorry I said those things about you. Don't make me get on my hands and knees and bow to you. (Reply to this)(Thread)

povich
2008-01-31 01:07 am UTC (link)

I've never made a promise that I cannot keep, so if I said I'd never bitchslap you again, I could be lying. And that would be wrong. But I will try my hardest as long as you too promise to be truthful and not leave behind any future Laquisha that says that she has born your child. At least not before you come on my show for a DNA test and a possible not the father dance.

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	shanimal 2008-01-31 01:20 am UTC (link)
	I promise, Maury. I won't leave any future Laquisha and I will be taking full responsiblity for the child they say is mine. I'll be sure to get a DNA test, too. I think I would probably do the dance just for your sheer entertainment but you've seen plenty of guys do that. Also, you may want to put Jared on the show sometime soon for the out-of-control children. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	povich 2008-01-31 01:26 am UTC (link)
	You make me very proud. Now what is this about Jared needing a healthy dose of boot camp with the out of control 15 year old hookers telling their mothers they've slept with 55 men? Now that I think about it, I shouldn't be too surprised. I did see that picture with Paris Hilton after all. For shame. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	shanimal 2008-01-31 01:32 am UTC (link)
	He is very out of control! Oh god, don't remind me of that Paris Hilton picture. Don't get me wrong, she is a nice girl but just...no. Just no. You know the boy likes to get around quite often. You need to help him get help. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

povich
2008-01-31 01:38 am UTC (link)

I'm sure she's very pleasant, but it's still a very scary thought. I hope that this trip to boot camp can get him into the right frame of mind. I don't want to put him through the intense rigors of TV boot camp just for him to emerge as a reformed girl and then come back for a follow up report and see he's reverted back to his cut off t-shirt navel exposing promiscuous ways. The thought alone is almost too much to bear.

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	shanimal 2008-01-31 01:47 am UTC (link)
	If we get him to revert back to the days of where he had the poofy hair during his stint on My So-Called Life, I think most of the people will be happy. If he ends up becoming the next Paris Hilton - sex tape and jail stint - then all hope is lost. We need D West to help us out. I think he can talk some sense into Jared. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	povich 2008-01-31 01:55 am UTC (link)
	I truly hope that Jordan Catalano isn't lost to the world forever. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	shanimal 2008-01-31 01:57 am UTC (link)
	I still think he's buried deep inside trying to break free. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	povich 2008-01-31 02:02 am UTC (link)
	Maybe Zac Efron can help with his breaking free. Or, at the very least, they could exchange hair tips. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	shanimal 2008-01-31 02:09 am UTC (link)
	You have no idea how hard I laughed at that. I think he needs help from Angela Chase. She could bring him out. (Reply to this)(Parent)

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