Current mood:

aggravated

three.
[CATCHLOVE & HOBGOBLINS] I've had Aunt Marian and Uncle Henrich owl me this morning, writing in very big letters about how ASHAMED they were to have a SEXUAL DEVIANT as a nephew, and how could I let the SINFUL ROCK STAR LIFE STYLE change me with the DRUGS AND THE BOOZE. Huh. Fredrick, Stefana, Ingrid, Greta, I appoint it your mission to change your parents' minds about me. But then again, they never did approve of what I did after I graduated.  I would like to receive my annual Christmas card, after all.

I still can't believe that this happened. Lochte owls me right he and his Ministry goons come busting in at 5 in the morning demanding a search. I knew that the Ministry had us for a target, but I had never imagined that they would stoop this low.  Well.  Lochte never liked me much in school anyway.

I say we need a plan of some sort. [/CATCHLOVES & HOBGOBLINGS]

I've already had tons of owls pouring in, pledging their unwavering loyalty and support behind me.  It means so much to me, honestly.  The fact that I know that I'm innocent echoed in your sentiments really says something. Now I'm not quite sure that I know this Miss Shawna Jansen or even met her even, but I'm sure she's a lovely girl who is only doing this out of a need for attention.  I would diagnose the same for Mister Lochte, but power is what power does.

My first day of mandatory community service is tomorrow.  I'm not sure where I'm supposed to go, but the owl comes later tonight.  Like I said to the Prophet, I'm more than willing to serve out my "punishment."  I love this community, and I'll be more than willing to give something back.

Speaking of the Prophet, if you did happen to believe their asinine article, then I feel unbelievably sorry for you.  I reassure you that I am neither a sexual deviant nor drug fiend.  I have prided myself on my straightedge stance for years; it is only my honor that I am defending against what seems like a very bad joke.

Stubby, I never would have thought it so, but my glasses look smashing on you, mate.