Roxan is fucking cute. I want to eat her up literally. =P

She ended up staying over last night. I didn't have sex with her. Shocking right? Everyone would probably have been like "Oh, we know Riley had sex with you. She probably whipped out one of her colorful sparkly dildos and ..." Okay moving on. We did not have sex. Mind you, before she even came in my room I ran inside and hid all the sex toys and freaky ass shit. I didn't want to scare the poor girl. Lol!! We did not kiss. We did nothing but giggle in the dark..and we were not even drunk.

Who the fuck does that? We do. Because she makes me a silly happy little bitch. That's why. We had a pillow fight. She won. Maybe because I kept looking at her rack. What? She's hot. You can't blame me. She's sweet and hot. She's Puerto Rican. I was playing some Spanish music. That's some hardcore shit. If I didn't know any better, I would've thought it was Chinese or something when I'm drunk.

But I know better now, so I won't fuck around. I'm going to make her talk to me in Spanish when we have sex...because we will. I'm going to have sex with that girl. One day. She's a virgin still, I think. I love virgins. They're so innocent. She's so innocent. I bet everyone tried to get in her pants and she always says, "No. This is not love. I will not let you touch my vagina." Or something...

No, but seriously without being a jackass...that girl makes me feel something inside..no that's not a pun that she fingers me deep or something. She makes me feel..important and special and..all kinds of things but most of all really happy. I can't remember the last time I felt this way.

Anyway, tonight Kali, Maddy, Roxan and me are going to perform a random concert to anyone who finds us right before New Year. It's a surprise random New Year's Eve concert. So look for us. Find us. We'll sing our hearts out for you. Not me though, I'll be singing my heart off for Roxan..

Alright everyone! Happy Holidays! Sorry if this is kinda late. But I have really big news...as I write this.. I AM SOBER! Booooo!! YAY!!!

I'm gonna give you guys a quick rundown of what's been going on up in this shitpie. First off, we decorated the fucking christmas pine tree mother fucker. Maddy put some bad ass Batman ornanments on that shit. I put up a spiderman one and she smiled at me. That bitch is fucking hot

We've all been running around taking pictures of the best fucking snowmen in NYC! We wandered ALL of new york fucking city for snowmen just because Kali thought that shit would be cute. They're gonna update and put pictures of everything. Everything was really fucking cool though. I can't complain I was having a blast with them. They're a lot of fun even if they're not drunk.

OH! And to be really nice, we performed random concerts for people who would find us. We were singing christmas lullabies..carols..same shit. But after that, we've been in the house. Normally staying in one place is SICKENING for me but like I mentioned, Kali and Maddy are a blast. We've been having movie marathons.

Here's a list of all the movies we've seen so far and VERY brief summaries that you won't understand!
1. Precious.
MY FUCKING FAVORITE MOVIE!! FLUORESCENT BEIGE!
2. Antichrist.
CLIT CUT OFF! DICK SPEWING BLOOD! BABIES WALKING OUT WINDOWS?!?! CHAOS REIGNS?!
3. Brothers.
DID YOU FUCK MY BROTHER? AHHHHH I KILL U!
4. Dorian Gray.
THIS MOVIE IS FUCKING HOT! Somebody should paint a picture of me! Lmao..Riley Avery Gray..LMAO!!
5. The Princess & The Frog
Voodoo is bad shit.
6. New Moon.
Nobody likes Edward. His nose is ridiculous.
7. The Blindside.
This movie was really good too. It made me play football with a banana in the kitchen with Kali, Maddy and Rant.
8. My Sister's Keeper.
Good thing Kali didn't have cancer..?!?!?! I don't know. Boo nobody likes cancer. It sucks.

Today the movie marathon continues and I'm actually fucking happy and excited about it! When I am not watching movies and spending time with Maddy and Kali, who have passionate sex late at night for hours thinking I can't hear them. HAHAHA... I'm talking to this singer girl Roxan Rivera..I think I actually like her. Right now I'm writing a song for her..NO NOT A LOVE SONG! She's a lot of fun. I decided to invite her over to watch movies with us. She makes me feel like a little kid again. I like it.



That's a picture of her! So..let me get ready because little miss cutie over there said she wants "totally interested in coming over" Ha. RILES STRIKES AGAIN!

I'm going to be real honest...I can't remember jack shit much from last night. I was drunk as fuck then I got drunker. I found a picture on my camera. YEAH. MY CAMERA. That should give me answers. Maddy told me, since I keep getting drunk and never remember things, I should take pictures of random things around me and maybe the pictures will give me some clues about what happened. So let's see those pictures, shall we fucking do it? YES WE FUCKING SHALL!!!



I started the day at...sometime and 26 minutes. Rightttt. And I was drunk then too. I woke up drunk next to my favorite person in the world, my husband if I can marry that delicious son of a bitch, JACK MOTHER FUCKING DANIELS. WOO!!! This shit is pretty fucking mysterious and vague. Kind of kicks ass if you ask me. You never know what happened next! Ready for the next picture? Yeah..me too I guess.




This is a picture of me and some groupie girl at the club. I see her, feeling me in this pic. I think I brought her back home and fucked her silly. Maybe that's why I woke up with a pair of panties on my head that weren't mine. LOL! Okay. Moving on. She wasn't bad looking right? Maybe when I'm sober, I'll remember if it was good or not...that is if I'm ever really fucking sober. KAPOW. Oh..maybe that's why there was a dildo harness wrapped around my foot too. Alright. That kind of clears things up. At least now I don't have to buy a pregnancy test or anything right? Girls can't get you pregnant! Woops, I hope I didn't get her pregnant. Just kidding. Pssh. If I had both sex organs, I'd fuck myself. Fuck fucking anybody else. Hahaaa that's a good one.

On a lighter note..YOU SHOULD ALL BUY MY CD TITLED WILD! YES!! WILD!!! You're going to love it. This is the kind of shit you can totally shake your asses too and party all night with!
PARTY HARD AND FUCK HARDER!!!