Social anxiety and paranoia
I am not the most social of creatures. In fact, I am almost removed from social situations, preferring to sink into music, words, or thoughts, and when I smoked, concentrating on the little plumes of smoke arising from my cigarette. Socializing is taxing in many situations to me.

So, I had someone who tried to strike up a completely random conversation while I was reading the newspaper. He asked "Where do you come from?" randomly, not even acknowledging me by saying "Hello", or introducing himself, or stuff that you do in normal conversations. Naturally, I was taken aback. One, I'm not social. Two, the start of the conversation was strange, awkward, out-of-place, almost forced, really. And three, I am ALWAYS suspicious of people's motives. I guess you could call me just a little bit paranoid. I have to be. I'm a small female and people are always out to get those that look small and weak, much like predatory instincts found in fierce animals.

I responded, "How come you'd like to know?"

he replied, "Just wanted to talk."

I'm not a talker, unless you get me boozed up or started on a subject that I feel passionately about. I kinda feel like a jerk for responding the way I did, but a "Hello" and a brief introduction would have made me a little more receptive than a cold-call question out of the blue. Introductions like that are unsettling to me. They remind me of unscrupulous people, like salesmen and false religious personnel.

Am I perhaps too paranoid? Maybe. Am I perhaps too untrusting of people? Possibly. However, humankind proves to me over and over again that I have reason to be paranoid, to have reason to be cautious of who I associate myself with, to be wary of those around me. People have to prove that they're trustworthy before I place faith and goodwill in them, because people do some lowdown dirty stuff. They steal from others, breaking into their personal spaces, kill in the name of money and greed (as exemplified in the murder of Sean Taylor, and tens of thousands of other cases). They maim and kill for fun. They rape to show a perverse sense of power.

And often times, these murderers, rapists, thieves, and other criminal types, will talk their way into the life of another, to try and get them comfortable before stripping them of everything they have, even so far as their life. There's a case that has been shown on America's Most Wanted several times where a cop talks his way into a family's life, and then commits heinous crimes on the young girl in the family. He then kills his wife, and is still on the run. I hope that when they catch this bastard, that he rots in solitary for the rest of his life.

I don't think America's Most Wanted helps my distrust of people, I'm 'fraid.

You know, I'm just going to blame my rambling on a fit that is beckoning me to smoke a cigarette. No, stupid reflexes, I don't want to smoke, I quit.