Mary Jane's Last Dance

AW HELL NAW

Dude, the Rays (sans Devil) new uniforms look like shit. It was everything I had feared and more. Not only did they make the uniforms look fruity, they had the AUDACITY to change the connotation of "ray" from a cute little thing in the ocean to some sunshine shit. A SUNSHINE. If they change the mascot Raymond (which is supposed to be a stingray thing but looks kinda like a crazy Muppet; I like him, he has spunk)to some gay-ass sun or something along those lines, I'll flip my shit. I'll lead an angry mob down to Tropicana Field with picket signs shaped like pitchforks and torches.

I'm also a Red Sox fan (since I was young, I'm not a bandwagon fan I promise you). And believe me, if anyone tried to change the Soxes' uniforms, mascot, or anything else, there wouldn't be a party like they threw last night with Kevin Costner and his mediocre band. There'd be another type of band in Boston, the type that doesn't play music. It would be a mob marching to Fenway Park, with real pitchforks and torches. Perhaps tar and feathers too!

This area really needs to put more pride in their ball team. Without pride...shit like this happens.

Damn.

The new Devil Rays (well excuuuuuuuuuse me Princess, the Rays) uniforms are so... gay.

If the new uniforms were any more gayer, it would consist of hot pants, Elton John's sequinned vests, , and all of the players' names would be changed to Diva.

Was I the only one who liked their current uniforms? I think they look good. So long, decent-looking uniforms. Hello, faaaaaaabulouuuuuus!